Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2000
All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 2000 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Dan Fortier with:
Centenarian =
Near ancient.
eq.2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Lived a life of danger =
Loved feeling afraid.
eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
While the cat's away, the mice will play =
With what aim? Well, a cheese, typically!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
One hundred and two Dalmatians =
Unhand dear, dotted animals - NOW!
eq.2nd - Richard Brodie with:
The impromptu, prelude, sonata, polonaise, nocturne, ballad, fantasie, mazurka, AND the concerto =
Born talented, Chopin "makes out" romantic tunes for piano. The art amazed us, all applaud "Encore!"
eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Biggest and Most Creative Painters of All Times =
Manet: Gentle 'Barmaid''s a top sight - it's so reflective!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
I demand a recount =
A dream continued.
2nd - David Bourke with:
Al Gore concedes =
Race closed. Gone.
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Florida's state government =
Voter manifesto strangled.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Tom Myers with:
Foreign exchange student =
French! I get tongue and sex!
2nd - Mick Tully with:
Office Christmas Party =
City staff harms copier.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Amebic Dysentery =
Scene may be dirty...
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Does Financial Freedom Interest You? =
O, it's a scam, you indolent reefer-fiend.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
See a Woman make love to a Rhino! =
Ooh, I've seen two men ram a koala...
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The more E-mails you send out, the more cash you will receive! =
Sure, cheesy shite... Come over, I'll mutilate your wee manhood!
THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Romance Coupons.com - is the place for fresh ideas that put the
variety back into your relationship - announced new Christmas
& Kwanzaa Romance Coupons. Check them out at:
http://www.romancecoupons.com
=
No chance to score? NoMates.com is THE site for a noncy chap without a fuck. Cripes! Horror! Ain't that a shame? (Plus not very nice). Come on up, wanker, and unzip the old chap!
Cock up & masturbate!
www.NoMates.com
2nd - Crash Davis with:
Not an anagram - genuine request !
Interested in 30/40 words on my site + hyperlink - in return for same
http://www.CLUETRAIL.com
or contact john@cluetrail.com
Thanks
=
Clean quiet 30ish anal thong-nut seeking a Cajun policeman or lawyer to insert 40 +/- hamsters into my rectum.
No weirdos!
Write cornman@err.tw
http://fuckrodent.nl
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Save £££'s on home and car insurance.
Online instant quotes. Instant cover, Monthly payments available
suject to status.
Visit www.network-2000concepts.org.uk and start saving money today
=
Wanna blast? Want £2000 total ?
Hi, I'm just a rotten nasty spammer who'll con you.
I use quite sneaky vows, very potent credit card (Visa) con tricks,
vast guano investment, and nonsense goat cons.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Now, I don't want you to think I expect acknowledgements for all
of my posts, but I've posted what I consider to be some strong
anagrams during this month and have received very few comments.
Take this last week for example. My newsreader shows I posted
28 anagrams (some of which I *really* like) since, and including,
December 16th (and not including this one, of course) and yet
there have only been 3 responses. Since I've experienced connection
troubles with my ISP during the earlier part of this month (mostly
email problems with several emails lost to the ether) and since
I've been using a new, for-pay newsgroup server this last month,
I'm wondering if all that I send is actually getting to the newsgroup.
If so, well then, I guess I'm just over-estimating the "brilliance"
of my work and so be it. But I'd hate to think I'm doing all this
typing and that not everyone is seeing them.
So, could a maybe 3 or 4 of you (no need for the whole group to respond), assuming that you can even see this message, please do an experiment for me? If you have Outlook Express as your newsreader, or if you know how to do this in whatever newsreader you have, please select Edit/Find from the menu bar and type in Rick Rothstein into the "From" box (alt.anagrams should already be in the "Look in" box), click the check mark box in the "Received after" box and select 12/1/00 for the date on the calendar that pops up. Finally, press the "Find Now" button. In the status bar at the bottom of the window, does it say "113 message(s) . . ."? If so, then all my messages are getting through and I'll have to work harder to perfect my anagrams. If not, then I need to contact ?someone? to report the problem. Either way, I'd like to know.
Thank you and a Happy Holiday to all,
Rick
=
Hey, now I don't want you to think I'd expect all my net purchases to land on the mat, but this month I have ordered online (indeed, paid for on my American Express card): 6 gerbils, 3 hamsters, 1 tube of KY Jelly, 3 gross of cardboard toilet-tubes, the Lifetime Membership of the Richard Gere Appreciation Society, a vacuum cleaner, a shoehorn, a donkey, a llama, 12 leather whips, some stirrups, 14 pairs of crotchless pants, 10 pairs of Latex examination gloves, 28m of electric flex, a tub of chocolate body paint, new sheets, some Swarfega industrial hand cleaner, 10-denier fishnet stockings, a sexy negligee, Y-Fronts (furry-lined inside), a kilt, new felt merkin, the complete set of Baywatch videos, some Viagra, 3 boxes of shiny wet-look lipstick, new teeth, eye shadow, some nail varnish, meths, a nipple-piercing kit, The Toe-Sucking Handbook, a 'King Dong' heavy-duty twin-ended monster vibrator, a pound of sliced liver, the Tina Turner 'Nutbush' wig (with dayglo-tinted extensions), some new white stilettoes, 'Men! Men! Men! - The Complete Nude Photographic Works Of Robert Mapplethorpe', the new Village People's Greatest Hit Songs boxed-set Anthology, then the new-out hot 'Divine Naked!' video, a bottle of amyl-nitrate, the 'Diana' colonic irrigation kit, a set of seven hypodermic needles, the new 'Dominant S-and-M Bondage For Gents (Beginners)' book, a toothbrush, some 'Minty Menthol' mouthwash, some semen-stain remover, (ditto, shite), and then a copy of the Anagram Genius Windows software. Now thus far, it seems, only the Anagram Genius has actually arrived. I would therefore advise that you only order goods on the Internet from known, trustworthy, reputable sources.
Thank you, you sweet little honeys! Love,
Rick.
Mwah!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Charlie's Angels (2000)
Directed by Joseph McGinty Nichol
The Tagline: Get some action
The Cast
Cameron Diaz .... Natalie Cook
Drew Barrymore .... Dylan Sanders
Lucy Liu .... Alex Munday
Bill Murray .... Bosley
Sam Rockwell .... Eric Knox
Tim Curry .... Roger Corwin
Kelly Lynch .... Vivian Wood
Crispin Glover .... The Thin Man
John Forsythe .... Charlie (voice)
Matt LeBlanc .... Jason Gibbons
LL Cool J .... Mr. Jones
Tom Green (III) .... Chad
Luke Wilson .... Pete
Sean Whalen .... Pasqual
Tim Dunaway .... The Flight Attendant
Alex Trebek .... Himself
Raleigh Wilson .... The Reform Officer
Mark Ryan (I) .... The Fencing Opponent
Bobby Ore .... The Driving Instructor
Guy Oseary .... The D.J.
Joe Duer .... The UPS Delivery Guy
Matthew Frauman .... a Red Star Systems Techie
Reginald C. Hayes .... a Red Star Systems Techie (as Reggie Hayes)
Melissa McCarthy .... Doris
Robert J. Stephenson .... The Red Star Systems Director (as Bob
Stephenson)
Ned Bellamy .... The Red Star Systems Director
Raymond Patterson .... The Director's Buddy
Bjorn Flor .... The Red Star Systems Security Guard
Gaven E. Lucas .... a Boy
Michael Barryte .... a Boy
Andrew Wilson (III) .... Corwin's Driver
Brandon Williams (I) .... The Assistant Director (as Branden Williams)
Michiko Nishiwaki .... a Stuntwoman
Frank Marocco .... an Accordionist
Darrell Pfingsten .... a Partygoer
Jim Calloway .... a Bouncer (as Jimmy Calloway)
Kevin Grevioux .... a Bouncer
Michael Papajohn .... a Bathroom Thug
Jim Palmer .... a Shooter
Shawn Woods .... a Shooter
Kenny Endoso .... a Getaway Driver
Tom Garner .... a Getaway Driver
Isaac C. Singleton Jr..... a Kidnapper
Paul Eliopoulos .... a Knox Thug
Tim Gilbert .... a Knox Thug
Al Goto .... a Knox Thug
Steven Ito .... a Knox Thug
Felipe Savahge .... a Knox Thug
Mike Smith (I) .... a Knox Thug
Jerry Trimble .... a Knox Thug
Jennifer Cole (I) .... Corwin's Assistant
Sylvie Hoffer .... Karen McDougal (cameo)
The Writing credits (WGA)
Ivan Goff (The TV series) and
Ben Roberts (III) (The TV series)
Ryan Rowe (written by) and
Ed Solomon (I) (written by) and
John August (written by)
Produced by Drew Barrymore
Joseph M. Caracciolo (executive)
Amanda Goldberg (associate)
Leonard Goldberg
Nancy Juvonen
Aaron Spelling (executive)
Betty Thomas (I) (executive)
Jenno Topping (executive)
=
Now, I DO know the year 2000 barely gave us any brilliant cinematic creations, and Oscar nominations are very rare, but good god - who gave THIS crummy movie an OK? Who went to watch this 'booby trap' (no pun intended), and why?
Twenty one explanations are given to why Charlie's Angels is a major box-office hit:
1) A subliminal message was clearly inserted in the groovy theme song by Destiny's Child, as the young, sexy band members repeatedly sang the movie's name in the video while dancing around in mini-skirts... OK, maybe it wasn't really *subliminal*.
2) Adult movie-goers are clearly ten-year-old fools in disguise.
3) Thousands bet this crappy movie is more retarded than the series; they had to watch it to settle the score.
4) Tim Curry and Bill Murray's rare, hilarious dialogs... just kidding.
5) Bold, uproarious jabs at King Lear... just kidding again.
6) Cameron Diaz's perky, gorgeous jugs.
7) Lucy Liu's long, sexy legs.
8) Drew Barrymore's... ah... Drew Barrymore's... It can't be her jokes, can it?!
9) Scenes where the girls wear, say or explore something promiscuous... all six-hundred of them.
10) Nothing spells jolly good fun like watching major babes box, jog, crawl in muck, cock a gun, flex, wriggle, climb a rope, talk trash, take bombs apart, perform exact Kung Fu moves, wag a butt, make love, nap, bowl, fix a radiator, groom, bathe, crap, order a cab and fry eggs - IN BLACK LATEX!!!
11) American TV's winter offerings.
12) I recall this is exactly the same America that chose G.W. Bush Jr. as president over Gore.
13) Poetic justice and God are no more.
14) The premiere was on a very rainy (or very foggy) day.
15) It holds the 'Number of Cars Totalled in One Scene' record.
16) Cameron clearly invited all of her ex-lays to watch it; that can explain at least ninety percents of the net income.
17) American cinema never really recovered from the rock-hard IQ standard set by 'Titanic'.
18) Director J. 'McG' Nichol kept getting his 'Action!' and 'Run in slow motion!' calls mixed up.
19) Women secretly enjoy chauvinistic junk.
20) Both Robert Downey Jr. and Jar Jar Binks have no acting roles in it.
21) Horny bums just aren't very picky when they have to jump-start their Jerry...
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
On the
Twelfth day of Christmas
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
Miss Venus Williams =
I'll win massive sums!
eq.2nd - Art Day with:
President George Walker Bush =
The goal? Perks! Beer, wine, drugs...
eq.2nd - santa's elves with:
Houdini =
Hi! I undo!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Crash Davis with:
Brigham Young University =
Being virgins may hurt you.
2nd - Richard Brodie with:
The Florida State Legislature =
Shall it defeat Al Gore? It's true!
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Dictionary of American Slang =
I score - man fornicating a lady.
THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Biggest and Most Creative Painters of All Times =
Da Vinci: Artist left protégés the best gem, 'Mona Lisa'.
Van Gogh: Became mad; titles 'Self Portrait' - it is tense.
Michelangelo: Artist's 'Pieta' met finest, bravest god.
Matisse: Five Trotting Girls became the top 'La Danse'.
Monet: Aged master's soft 'Lilies' brighten, captivate.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
The carol singers =
Choir angels rest.
Girls reach notes.
Her song, it's clear.
Single orchestra.
Clots rehearsing.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Golden years =
So legendary.
See? Old 'n' gray!
A rosy legend.
Elder's agony.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
'Twas
the night before Christmas
eq.2nd - Richard Brodie with:
A section-by-section
anagram of Psalm 119.
eq.2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Two carols made into anagrams of each other, followed
by four-part choral arrangements of each that are also anagrams.
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