Anagrammy Placegetters for September 2001
All the highly-placed anagrams from the September 2001 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Allan Morley with:
A skeleton in the cupboard =
Bones are locked up in that.
2nd - Jaybur with:
Oh, I pray that each find ~
faith, hope and charity.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Nude Modelling =
Indulge old men.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" =
"Cackling at pieheads with original lines like you."
2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Spanish Artist, Francisco de Goya =
I paint horrid ghosty scenes as a fact.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Laurence Olivier in Emily Bronte's "Wuthering Heights" =
Surely the genius here: brilliant gothic movie winner.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Usama bin Laden =
Damnable in U.S.A.!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The World Trade Center Towers in Manhattan, New York City =
Ah, went down in the worst terror attack recently; many die.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Recent tragic events =
Enact strict revenge.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Durex contraceptives =
Cervix/anus protected.
2nd - Maurice Goddard with:
Massage Parlours =
Orgasms are a plus!
3rd - SpursKevin with:
Swiss Youth Tour =
Show us your tits!
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Boat based Whale watching is one of the fastest growing tourist
"must do's", in the world today. We have the honour
of appreciating these majestic giants right on our doorstep. The
Southern Right Whales come to our shores from July to November
every year to calve. They were so named because they where considered
the "Right Whale" to shoot for their high blubber content.
South Africa has joined the rest of the world in protecting these
beautiful mammals from the interference of man. Without a special
permit no boat may approach them closer than 300m. There are a
couple of exceptions where special permits have been given to
Marine Biologists to approach within 50m.
SELFTOURS has an arrangement with a Marine Biologist to take you right up close to experience the whales and capture the most amazing photographs. The difference between watching whales from 300m and listening to them breathe at less than 50m makes a "WHALE OF A DIFFERENCE"!
With the whales come the seals and dolphins, then it's onto the land based Big 5 to view, plus Cave tours & the last scheduled Steam train trip through the Garden Route. Something for the whole family from abseiling the cliffs to having tea with the Elephants and their newly born 6 month old baby.
=
Whale & dolphin watching in South Africa is thrilling, but it mightn't be the thing for you. Perhaps you cannot afford to travel this far, perhaps you throw up at the mere sight of a boat, or perhaps you're an expatriate Boer who won't go near the place since the wretched kaffirs ruined it. Well, we can cater for this meanness, seasickness or prejudice by offering you the next best thing for a meagre amount - just £5.00!
You see, the esteemed palaeontologist Hans Thewissen reports that he has unearthed fossils that show these cetaceans' genetic forbear to have been a member of the Artiodactyl group - a group which we happen to have the odd member of here at our place. So come on down to view the whale's nearest living relatives!
*Behold the feeding of that gentle marine mammoth, the Cow! Thrill to this timeless scene!
*Come within 50m of the majestic Goat! Smell it breathe!
*Swim with the Sheep!
*Hear the bewitching, haunting strains of the world's most accomplished songster, the Camel! Now available on 3CDs (£50.00), overlaid with the music of a remote member of the Lloyd-Webber family.
So for all this and more visit the "North London Whale
Sanctuary and Petting Zoo", here at 63 Beluga Rd, Tottenham.
Bringing human and behemoth together - THAT'S OUR PORPOISE!
2nd - David Bourke with:
Get Any Bitch You Want
NOW LEGAL IN THE US FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN!
Imagine a natural aphrodisiac that is proven to attract the opposite sex! Androstenone Pheromone Concentrate (APC) is just that! The opposite sex will subconsciously detect this product and they will be instantly attracted to you!
NOW YOU CAN HAVE THE WOMAN OR MAN OF YOUR DREAMS!!!
MEN CLICK HERE
WOMEN CLICK HERE
=
Want an animal attraction? Canine cuties on heat? Just whistle! Next, you can have any bitch you want! Have pooches mount up against your leg! That there mutt needs a hard, meaty bone!
* Cute little Shar-Pei's! Randy Dinmonts!
* Sexy Setters! Dirty Dobermanns!
(Most not trained!)
No poop! Come on! Call to: http://www.woofwoof.com/
Hot Tail! Pedigree Pooch Porn!
Lassie: CLICK HERE
Bouncer: CLICK HERE
3rd - Larry Brash with:
ASK YOURSELF THESE 3 QUESTIONS:
1. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH AN EXTRA $500, $1000, $5000 PER MONTH?
2. IF YOU CONTINUE DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW, WHERE WILL YOU
BE FINANCIALLY, 4 YEARS FROM NOW?
3. IF THIS TURNED OUT TO BE THE PROGRAM YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR,
WOULD THERE BE ANYTHING TO STOP YOU GETTING STARTED RIGHT NOW?
To learn more about this, email us at: jofra_inc@yahoo.com, and type "MORE INFO" in the subject text. You will receive FREE info, via email.
=
Now, I came up with three cute answers (below) to your fucking goofy questions
1. How to secrete 143,000 pirhana into your enema fluid (unbeknown to you, fool), just before you indulge in a little joyful "water sport".
2. How I might obtain a mere 5,500,000 African driver ants (i.e. the type which eat an ox alive), smother your rotten old genitals with them, and see them dine off your gonads.
3. I extol giving you a wee frontal lobotomy on your birthday.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - James H. Young with:
I hail USA! Our crazy law is in a list:
A lone driver may not operate a vehicle wearing a thick, dark
blindfold.
No one may imitate or mock a high clergyman.
Incest, which is inside a marriage, is legitimate.
We prohibit a hunt on Sunday.
No Asian woman can sit atop a man in sex.
No man slanders God (alias Our Savior, Jesus).
No sex is within a woman's anal area.
You cannot leave a car while it is driving ahead.
A skunk or a shark is not a pet.
No honking of a "melodic" horn in a car.
No kiss on a woman's skin as soon as a woman is not awake.
=
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut,
Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana,
Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts,
Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska,
Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North
Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania,
Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas,
Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin,
Wyoming.
2nd - Jaybur with:
I'm all of the glamorous ladies
At whose beckoning history shook.
But you are a man, and see only my pan
So I stay at home with a book.
=
Ooh, a Miss Dorothy Parker
See a symbol of unusual delight.
Men stay away so I moan,
Ooh look I'm alone
I want to be chaste... by a knight.
3rd - Maurice Goddard with:
The Latest News.
Three of our esteemed English members, William Tunstall-Pedoe,
David Bourke and Mick Tully, met for a night out at the The Moon
Under Water Hotel in Charing Cross Rd, London on Tuesday 28th
August 2001. For some obscure reason they decided to cover their
faces with photos of themselves.
Our correspondent from Northolt reports: "As well as being brilliant, William Tunstall-Pedoe is about 20 years younger than me, while David Bourke turns out to be a far better wind-up artist too.
The beer was good though.
William brought along his digital camera and a rather bemused (and gorgeous) young lady did the honours for us. William promises to send you lucky (NOT!) people a link to the photos.
Seriously, I really enjoyed the evening. Thanks, David & William.
Mick"
=
Report From Down Under: Two members get together soon? The renowned "Arch-devil and abuser" psychiatrist is to perform a frontal lobotomy at his private clinic on "Dr Jism, Anagram Hatcher", in Newcastle NSW, Monday 18th March 2002. Due to grounds of professional secrecy, both men's identities are hidden in anagrams.
Pressman in Australia writes: "The lobotomy will hopefully remedy a serious duologue dull Aussie 'mucky lilt' in talking, in an otherwise very intelligent double-tongued word genius!"
The voluble ill patient is reported to have told all: "No worries mate!" The skilled "Abuser" is to make a video of the "Anagram Hatcher's" tortuous huge debut op. A youthful sweet nurse will do the task. Together they go "by-the-book."
Good outlook, but the odds??? A dulled hush!!!
Mo
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Osama bin Laden =
A bad man (no lies).
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Renaissance Painter Michelangelo Buonarroti =
A genuine Roman creator - labor in the Sistine Chapel!
3rd - Jaybur with:
The pioneer surgeon Christiaan Barnard =
Sound brain in heart operating research.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - James H. Young with:
A Nintendo Gameboy =
Made to be annoying.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Kabul, Afghanistan capital =
Halt a fucking Taliban, ASAP!
3rd - Mick Tully with:
The Intel Corporation =
Tailor one rotten chip.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
No terrorists here!
Join our porn site, turn off the TV, quit watching the crap happening in the states, and join our free site!
2nd - SpursKevin with: [A verse of a poem by Rudyard Kipling]
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
=
When you get wounded or dead from American planes,
And we won't stop the US to kill who remain,
And you can still get out if you just use your brains,
Go not to war for Allah or bin Laden.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
[A selection of Caravaggio-related anagrams.]
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio =
I color image in grave, magical shade.
O, each allegoric image is raving mad.
Mad vision? Ah, image allegoric grace.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'Judith and Holofernes' =
Oh, a vein's ejaculating, flooding her, as her old maid grimaces.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'David and Goliath' =
'A Clad Child Removing a Giant Rival's Head' is a good image.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'The Entombment of Christ' =
Ah, face highest, tragic moment - 'Immortal Savior Being Enclosed'.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'The Conversion of Saint Paul' =
One eager horse clumps along at a magical vision of a divine Christ.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'The Crucifixion of Saint Peter' =
Ah, massive piece of a grim execution. Again, terrific colors and light!
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