Anagrammy Placegetters for August 2002
All the highly-placed anagrams from the August 2002 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Mike Torr with:
Identical twin brother =
Two interlaced in birth.
eq.2nd - Wayne Baisley with:
A case of mistaken identity =
Testimony indicates a fake.
eq.2nd - Matjaz Pihler with:
Solitude =
Soul diet.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
The singer Ray Charles =
He arranges the lyrics.
2nd - Michael Omstead with:
Pokemon trading cards =
*groan* Kids can't drop 'em!
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Gaston Leroux's novel "The Phantom of the Opera" =
Text of one rampant ghoul - he loves the soprano!
eq.3rd - Allan Morley with:
All the world's a stage =
God's law: all's theater.
eq.3rd - Santi Spadaro with:
A Chopin's piano prelude =
Applaud in piece's honor!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Weapons of mass destruction =
U.S. owns most - and it's for "peace"?????
2nd - Paul Pan with:
Palestinian Abu Nidal dead =
A anti-USA Bin Laden pal died.
eq.3rd - Mattias Inghe with:
The World Summit on Sustainable Development =
Men vowed a battle: Pollution ends this summer!
eq.3rd - Allan Morley with:
Death to America! =
I hate a democrat!
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Artistes =
Tits & arse.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Miss World Beauty Contest =
See, it crowns that busty model.
3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
The Christian Church =
Ah, the rich rich cunts!
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
INTERNATIONAL DRIVER'S LICENSE
Need a new driver's license?
Too many points or other trouble?
Just want a license that can never be suspended?
Want an ID for nightclubs or hotel check-in?
Avoid tickets, fines, and mandatory driver's education?
Protect your privacy, and hide your identity.
The United Nations gave you the privilege to be driving freely throughout the world! (The Convention on International Road Traffic of 1949, & World Court Decision, The Hague, The Netherlands).
Take advantage of your rights. Order an International Driver's Licence that will never be suspended or revoked.
Confidentiality is assured
CALL NOW
We await your call 7 days per week, 24 hours per day, including weekends and holidays.
=
An on-duty police officer pulled over a car and told its driver as he had been wearing a seatbelt, he'd automatically win over $1,949,724 in the National Driver Safety Competition.
"What are you going to do with your winnings?" said the officer.
"In truth, I reckon I'll try and get a valid driver's license again," he replied innocently.
"Dear Lord, no! Don't listen to that rotten idiot!" voiced his rotund curvy wife in the passenger's seat. "He's a real jerk when he's blind drunk!"
A very stoned cousin in the back, roused out of narcotic sleep, frowned at the cop very nervously and groaned, "Run, run! I knew we'd get us arrested and convicted in a stolen car!"
Suddenly, a tiny voice in the trunk, called out in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"
2nd - Allan Morley with:
Just say "Hey Culligan Man!" for crystal-clear, refreshing water at home.
Drinking plenty of water can be so easy! Your local, reliable Culligan Man has two convenient drinking water options for your family. Both provide a continuous supply of delicious water right at your fingertips...for just pennies a glass. Enjoy a state-of-the-art reverse osmosis drinking water system installed right at your kitchen sink. Or have refreshing bottled water delivered and served as you like it from a cooler. Now that's H2Ohhh so easy!
Click Here
Right now your Culligan Man has both on sale with a special introductory rental offer... just $3 a month for the first three months!
Click Here
=
You are in luck, ignoble spammer! It occurs to me that I can provide you with a rather similar offer in return. You see, I've got a 'natural spring' of sorts here which would be most handy for 'recycling' all that sparkling crystal-clear water, and I want to return it fast for each thoughtless, inane, mannerless clown like you to drink, bathe in or wash clothes and things with.
So just say "Hey Cubicle Man!" and henceforth I'll fill 2-3 gallons-worth of glass jars every day, delivered here to your door! Or if you prefer, I can just take a leak in your coffee maker every morning! (That's right, as seen on TV.) Now that's *really* 'Piss Easy'!
(I'm not joking, rotten bitch - either piss off, or get pissed on.)
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Invictus,
by William Ernest Henley
2nd - Meyran Kraus with: [Some real samples of Bush's confusing speeches, anagrammed into his final one...]
"Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I- it's- I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values." (Visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001)
"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the- in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen." (Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001)
"And so, in my State of the- my State of the Union- or state- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years- 4,000 *hours* over the next- the rest of your life- of service to America. That's what I asked, 4,000 hours." (Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002)
=
"Ladies or- the others, the gentlemen parts, of the jury. I come before you not as the indicted president of the united stars and stripes, but as an articulating, intertactual man. I'm sure of my flagitious innocence - so positive, I've waived my attorneys goodbye. I've no need for lawmen and their like, people of the jewish- the jury.
First of all, an unruly fact - the war was my idea. No, scratch that- that bit *wasn't* my idea. I'll prove the opponents right on this point. But the events were innocuous. Overall, the millions that perished, these brave servants of the constellation, were *not* efficacious. They mattered. The Afghans were in our hair, and something sternal had to be done.
Last of all, the business-corruption or whatnot. What extravagation! Watch my mouth, folks - I've never handled, examined or *grasped* that issue!
...Your choice is laughingly clear."
eq.3rd - Mattias Inghe with:
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why, God? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
=
So, the awfully mighty Lord seems to have had a funny type of humor. Between us, did He once honestly do this? We might never know. Now, rest assured, if God said anything firm to the Judean fellow Job, he sure didn't speak English, did he?
eq.3rd - Paul Pan with:
"The Israelis know that if the Iraqi or the Iranian army came across the Jordan River, I would personally grab a rifle, get in a ditch, and fight and die" (former US President Bill Clinton at a fund-raising dinner).
=
Eerie oral intern skirt-ejaculator, anti-Vietnam draft-dodger, bribed-in-HQ grass-whiff inhaler, Hillary-in-Senate panhandler, denied stating this:
"I would do anything for Israel - apart from a circumcision"
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Emperor Octavian =
Captain over Rome.
2nd - Jaybur with:
Saint Teresa =
A neat Sister!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Ferdinand Magellan =
Find & name large land.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - David A. Green with:
The Miss World Beauty Contest =
Brunettes mostly, so I watched.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, Brisbane =
Pleasant, no-brain bears you can like.
3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
Microsoft Instant Text Messenger Service =
Tests confirm it covers Internet sex games.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Swan
and Shadow by John Hollander, anagrammed into another shape poem.
2nd - Paul Pan and Nanaea with:
Over 3,800 anagrammed first
names from around the world.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
William
Shakespeare: Sonnet XIV
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