Anagrammy Placegetters for May 2004
All the highly-placed anagrams from the May 2004 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome =
Enter and thus find my son dead.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A knight in armour =
I am no King Arthur.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Cigarette machines =
The aim is 'Get cancer'.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
"It's been a Hard Day's Night" =
And, hey, this band is great!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Final episode of the show 'Frasier' =
Oh, weep - 'Friends' is also off the air!
3rd - David A. Green with:
The Sunday Telegraph Sports Section =
Thus they printed scores on last page.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Olympic Games in Athens =
Ah, hasten! Gym is incomplete!
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The President of the United States =
The nut pretends to defeat Shi'ites.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Middle East Peace Talks =
Ditch deals, keep stalemate.
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Surrealist Salvador Dali =
All art's a visual disorder.
2nd - View with:
The astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus =
Space motion; our Earth circles Sun, no?
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes =
One sly hero shall crack this murder soon!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
A McDonald's restaurant =
Standard U.S. carton meal.
2nd - David A. Green with:
Grecian Plus Gray Control Foam ~
May return color of aging scalp.
3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
Harley-Davidson motorcycle ~
calmly drove on the icy roads.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
The late John Lennon, Sir Paul McCartney, the late George Harrison, and Ringo Starr =
In long careers, they all once sang major hits in a rather talented Northern group.
2nd - GOLDFERN with:
TAPS
Day is done
Gone the sun
From the hills
From the lake
From the skies
All is well
Safely rest
God is nigh
=
GENESIS
Let light effuse
OKAY!
Form the world
A hilly spa
Form the man
This his likeness
God's all done
Rest
3rd - David Bourke with:
The President of The United States of America, George Walker Bush =
"Seek Bin Laden!" He set out after Osama, he screwed right up. Forget it!
THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Senator Kerry claims that Bush's foreign policy is "Ineffective" =
So sorry if I'm coarse, but try asking if the chief can even *spell* it.
2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Earth Day: April twenty-second =
Hardy planet? We CAN destroy it!
3rd - Chris Doyle with:
Paris Hilton =
Hi! (Loins part.)
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
I, George Walker Bush, do solemnly swear that
I will faithfully execute the office of President
of the United States and will, to the best of my
ability, preserve, protect, and defend the
Constitution of the United States
=
I, Tony Blair, swear I will ignore the wishes of
the electorate, veto, not listen, feed the media
tittle-tattle/hype, suck up to Bush, fix-up student
fees, defeat the lefties, and stuff Gordon Brown.
Democracy? Totally finished!
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The Statue of Liberty
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door
=
The Statue of Li-bush-ty
Give me your ire, your war,
Heated fears of Moslems help elect me,
Obey the Bushes: I need order - they restore.
Please, Egypt, do send demented terrorists to me,
I lift my guns high to send freedom out the door.
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith; neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion. Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things for: in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you.
=
Leviticus 18: 22-24
Hate the shirtlifters, the gay bar ninnies, the rent boys. Don't simulate a ladylike fashion when with one's fellow men. This is a detestable union! We intend to do it while with hetero dames only.
No bestiality, eh? HELLO! It is sick! When one has a heifer, doe, buffalo, hen, or any sort of fauna, don't touch it in that sort of intimate way.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Tribute to the Month of May
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
[A loose rendition of Jesus' life in anagrams of "The Gospel According to
Saint Matthew."]
The Gospel According to Saint Matthew =
[Birth:]
Chaste mother got digs at place in town [Luke 2:7]
O, we spot child in that cottage's manger [Luke 2:7]
Magi potentates, on go, watch child rest [2:9-11]
[Ministry:]
Cite how Satan tempted Christ long ago [4:3-11]
Theologian attempts teaching crowds [4:23-25]
Was teaching; that epic sermon got told [5-7]
Oh, no! Castigating crowds at the temple! [21:12-13]
[Last Supper:]
Gal tops head with scarce-got ointment [26:6-7]
Apostles gotta go catch dinner with me [26:17-19]
Iscariot gang now plotted that scheme [26:14-16]
Owing to tips, catch Lord at Gethsemane [26:49-50]
[Passion:]
Aghast, we got Pilate to condemn Christ [27:24-26]
Watch Pilate cage, hit, torment God's son [27:27-31]
Wept... Gang acted to nail Him to the cross [27:27-36]
We can depict His torments at Golgotha [27:33-50]
[Resurrection:]
Light... Women to accept that God's arisen! [28:1-7]
Magdalene wept; Christ to act soothing [28:9-10]
Watch God teach, noting apostles' merit [28:18-20]
Now then, come sit at place at God's right [Mark 16:19]
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Elegy for a Bachelor Uncle
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
An incestuous act =
Eat a cousin's cunt.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
General erotica =
A large erection.
3rd - Chris Doyle with:
Oh, it's Pamela Anderson! =
Ah, it's melons on parade.
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