Anagrammy Placegetters for March 2005
All the highly-placed anagrams from the March 2005 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Paul Lusch with:
The crime investigator =
He interrogates victim.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A trained sushi chef =
He's a tuna-fish dicer!
3rd - Dean Mayer with:
Asteroid threats =
Disaster to Earth.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Travel Guide To London' =
I'd love to tour England!
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare =
Whole script's a Marlowe fake, like the poems.
3rd - View with:
Actor Sidney Poitier =
One Oscar. Pity, I tried!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Chicago millionaire adventurer Steve Fossett =
See, this noted flier loves to circumnavigate Earth!
2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Should Terri Schiavo's feeding tube be taken out? =
I feel about her need to die but oh, starving sucks!
3rd - Larry Brash with:
The Michael Jackson court case =
Teen claim: "He's just a cockroach".
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The Norwegian artist Edvard Munch =
Tortured hand-waving in "The Scream".
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Sarah Michelle Gellar =
I agree she'll charm all.
3rd - David Bourke with:
The singer and blues guitarist Eric Clapton =
Regrets cocaine... but still standing up, I hear!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Eastern Africa =
A safari center.
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Burger King's Enormous Omelet Sandwich =
Oh, malign new grub induces more strokes.
3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
The California Desert =
Its air can feel red hot.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! =
What a fool is Mr Bush! how extreme in opinion! how wet and vapid in mind! in waffle so fancy, in ignorance so remarkable!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Star Wars: Episodes I (The Phantom Menace), II (Attack of the Clones) and III (Revenge of the Sith) =
It irks me how these digital movie adaptations erase the past innocence of the franchise!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Is the Northern Ireland peace process in danger of collapse? =
Alas, IRA presence lends peril, threatening hopes of concord.
THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The Passion and the Resurrection =
Death upon cross, inter, then arise.
2nd - Don Rogers with:
The Crucifixion and the Resurrection =
His end: horrific execution; return act.
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Easter bunny made of dark chocolate =
From a neat coloured candy basket, eh?
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[A news story clip from the DeHavilland website]
The Queen will miss the civil wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles on April 8th, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.
As the prince and Mrs Parker Bowles wished to keep the occasion a "low-key" affair, the Queen would honour their plans and stay away, the palace said.
But the sovereign intends to join the congregation at a church blessing service led by the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle, following the civil wedding, the spokesman added.
=
Top Ten Reasons The Queen Is Ditching Charles and Camilla's Wedding:
10. Her corgis will have to be spayed for it.
9. She doesn't want to be the Belle of the Ball.
8. She saw Camilla's frock.
7. She saw Charles' frock.
6. Gift-wrapping a bag of dry Kibble can be trickier than it appears.
5. She planned a craved tryst with a suicide machine.
4. She planned to drunkenly mount a sad old equine of her own.
3. Interviewing dirty hunchbacks to man Camilla's position in Notre Dame will have her occupied.
2. Swallowing the Crown Jewels will have her occupied.
1. She's opposed to gay marriage.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
(The professor to his errant pupil)
"Alas, you were caught fighting a liar in the quad again. You have also hissed all my mystery lectures and have tasted two whole worms, so I suggest you catch the next town drain and be gone."
=
Phew! A batty Oxford don, the Reverend William Spooner, transposes the initial letters of words whilst he harangues a young scallywag, catalogues his inadequacy, and suggests the youth might evacuate any time or hour.
3rd - David Bourke with:
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." - Mark Twain
=
Many, many core voters in America now feel, in President George Walker Bush, is in fact, a testament to this view. An ignorant, top-rank moron... no question!
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Mike Keith with:
Nine Anagrammatic Views of Mt. Fuji
(with Kanji)
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A sonnet by Keats, anagrammed into three poems
each in the style of different poet
3rd - David Bourke with:
Afroman - 'Because I Got High'
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Relationship expert =
Rotten sex? I help pair.
2nd - Joe Fathallah with:
"The Sun" tabloid newspaper =
Hands out bare, wet nipples.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Have safe intercourse =
I cover these fun areas.
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