Anagrammy Placegetters for November 2005
All the highly-placed anagrams from the November 2005 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Driving under the influence of alcohol =
On tour in a vehicle drenched full of gin.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Ancient armour on ~
a Roman Centurion.
3rd - David Bourke with:
Colombian creep =
Cocaine problem.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Mike Newell's 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' =
Enthralling film, yet we prefer to read the books!
2nd - Larry Brash with:
"Genius is born - not paid" (Oscar Wilde) =
A sociable wit drudges on in prison.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Madonna reverts to her raunchy image =
More men can adore this naughty raver.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - View with:
Riots in French capital =
Conflict in Paris heart.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Vatican: "No gay priests!" =
It gets a pansy vicar? No!
eq.3rd - Linda Garner with:
George Bush's bird flu pandemic plan=
Grip on a Bible, pledge funds, charm us.
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Macy's Parade Disaster: Balloon Falls, Hits Two =
"Well", passers-by admit, "the scandal's a lot of hot air".
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The US comedian Seinfeld =
He's often induced a smile.
2nd - Linda Garner with:
Mark Twain, Samuel Langhorne Clemens =
All Americans knew gentleman's humor.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Eisenhower =
See hero win.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The National Geographic Society =
A great lion photo is eye-catching.
2nd - Dean Mayer with:
The Bangladeshi =
He bad at English.
3rd - Paul Pan with:
United States of America =
I, Tom Cruise, defeat Satan.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
New movie: 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' =
Worthwhile to see it on a whim, for it can enchant bored children. Heaven!
2nd - David A. Green with:
'Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph' by Thomas Edward Lawrence =
Will whip my humped camels onwards over soft Arabian desert.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
"On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life" =
No race'll be superior if not strong, clever or even fast enough? He is lying! I offer the United States of America as proof.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
Element: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 210
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Very difficult to find a pure sample, therefore proving it's really rare. Ageing ones are unable to conduct electricity as easily as the young and fresher.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo whenever it can. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive whenever mixed with K(i)d for any prolonged period of time
Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples produce an amazingly large quantity.
Caution: Warning! In the absence of Wo, this element will decompose rapidly and begin to smell.
=
Element: WOMAN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: 120
Physical Properties: Rounded in form. Quite compact. Boils at nothing. May freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Markedly bitter if not used well.
Chemical Properties: Very active. Appears to possess strong affinity to metals such as gold, and precious stones. Violent if left alone. Seems able to absorb a huge amount of exotic food. Specimen may turn a little green when placed beside a finer one. Ages rapidly.
Usage: Highly ornamental. Extremely good catalyst for rapid disintegration of wealth. Indeed, probably the world's most powerful income reducing agent yet known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Trust me.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
John is getting married to the girl of his dreams, Wendy. He decides to surprise her with a very special wedding present. His gift is to have a tattoo... her name on his penis.
John goes off to a tattooist, who explains that this might be a bit painful and that he can only undertake this if John has an erection. He nervously agrees to go ahead, as he is so much in love with Wendy. He takes the pain and soon it is done, with "WENDY" on the shaft of his male member.
After his penis is flaccid, John notices that he can see just the first letter of her name, a "W", and last letter, a "Y", as the middle letters are in the folds of his skin.
=
John and his bride go on their honeymoon to the West Indies.
They get off the plane at Jamaica. John's in dire need of the toilet. When he's at the urinal to relieve himself, this fit, six-feet-three, West Indian fellow enters and starts to urinate.
John, having heard it said that black men are "large chaps", looks down and gasps as he sees that the other man has "W" and "Y" on his shaft.
He nervously addresses the chap,
"The tattoo...it's like mine! I'd guess...perhaps your girl's Wendy too, right?", stretching his penis to show him it.
"Ah no, mon! See - it's different. If it's stiff, it's:
WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF JAMAICA AND HAVE A NICE DAY!"
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
FAMOUS DIAMONDS
The Centenary Diamond
The Star of Africa Diamond
The Idol's Eye Diamond
The Sansy Diamond
The Hortensia Diamond
The Cullinan Diamond
The Excelsior Diamond
The Koh-I-Noor Diamond
The Victoria Diamond
The Paragon Diamond
The Blue Magic Diamond=
My dream,
A dream
I couldn't afford,
Hid a deadly ambition ...
Diamonds
So sad, this modest man.
I had innocence, hope ...
No money.
No
Diamonds
Utter intoxication!
Oh, I cherished them!
Utter addiction!
Oh, I ... killed for them!
Diamonds.
Love and Hate
Go hand-in-hand.
A gem
A tear
A diamond.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - James H. Young with:
Comparisions
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
JERUSALEM
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
An Austrian Army
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Paul Pan with:
A fag + a fairy =
A gay affair.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
She's a great lay =
Easy shag alert.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The United States Marine Corps =
A prostitute's dream? Ten inches!
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