Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2005
All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 2005 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Abusive relationships =
Pain? Bruises? I have lots.
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Cognitive therapist: ~
"I've got rich patients!"
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
"Hope is a waking dream." - Aristotle =
So heartwarming. Said like a poet!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mona Lisa drawing =
A damsel with a grin on.
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
"The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne =
Recall, then, the 'A' worn by Hester in that tale.
3rd - Paul Pan with:
The Hunchback of Notre Dame =
A bucktoothed Frenchman, he.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Elton's big day =
Not by a girl's side...
2nd - Don Rogers with:
Ariel Sharon hospitalized =
A leadership is horizontal.
3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
Times Square, New York City =
It quite rocks my New Year's.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone =
He began on an experiment: A "Hello?" travelled forth.
2nd - David A. Green with:
Russian ballet dancer Rudolf Khametovich Nureyev =
Unrivalled, he's famously bravoed in the 'Nutcracker' .
eq.3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
Astronaut John Glenn =
Long non-Earth jaunts.
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Blessed Virgin Mary =
Delivers by this manger.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - View with:
The Polaroid cameras =
Clear photo is a dream.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Microsoft Corporation =
Sort of pathetic or moronic.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hitler's dictatorship =
A Third Reich's its plot.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Mark Twain =
"Whereas the others were all, thankfully, the imprudence of my phobic, misbehaving imagination."
2nd - Larry Brash with:
It provokes the desire but it takes away the performance =
Risk's fair that we've had too many beers to keep it up erect.
3rd - David Bourke with:
The new leader of the Conservative Party, David William Donald Cameron =
Onward, after Michael Howard's malevolence, deviation, and petty drivel!
THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Christmas movie 'It's A Wonderful Life' =
Festive old film hit is sure to charm anew.
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
"It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas." =
Tell Santa, "Come in! Bring those gifts I like!"
3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Twelve Days of Christmas ~
Left my saved cash with store.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
[Bush Teleconference With Soldiers Staged 10/13/05
WASHINGTON - It was billed as a conversation with U.S. troops, but the questions President Bush asked on a teleconference call Thursday were choreographed to match his goals for the war in Iraq and Saturday's vote on a new Iraqi constitution. "This is an important time," Allison Barber, deputy assistant defense secretary, said, coaching the soldiers before Bush arrived. "The president is looking forward to having just a conversation with you."]
Here's a small segment from the beginning of the program:
The President: Captain Kennedy?
Captain Kennedy: Yes, Mr. President.
The President: Well, it's good to see you. Thanks. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to allow me to visit with you a little bit. I've got some questions for you here in a minute, but I do want to share some thoughts with you. First, I want to thank the members of the 42nd Infantry Division and Task Force Liberty for serving our country with such distinction and honor. I want you to know that the mission you are on is vital to achieving peace and to protecting America. One of my most solemn duties, a duty that you have joined me on, is to protect the American people.
=
The rehearsal
Ms. Barber: Nice to see you, gentlemen. Prior to your discussion with the president, I want to instruct you succinctly
so the conversation won't flop; however, if anyone inquires in regard to the instructions, you'd have to pretend you've
never heard any of them.
G.W.: (chuckles) Funny color, that khaki. It sounds like a dirty joke.
Ms. Barber (sighs): And that, too. Do you have any questions so far?
G.W.: Would we also be airing the rehearsal, auntie?
Ms. Barber: Actually, I meant the troops, Mr. President.
Captain Smith: I've got one. Is it alright to mention last night's mission?
Ms. Barber: Not if it's too gory. Unless it's positive gore. I understand that one of you shined yesterday.
Captain Kennedy: That was me. I had to shoot a few Iraqis that came to the camp with a couple of odd-looking fruits.
And I'd do it again, too. I'd stop at nothing for the just cause of the US of A, ma'am.
Ms. Barber: Wonderful conviction. If it's alright with everyone, I'd like Captain Kennedy to be the spokesman. Now,
let's have a little test. Sir?
G.W.: (squints) Damn these tiny cue-cards. Where's that prompter?
Ms. Barber: I need an hour to set it up-
G.W.: Neato. Off you go, soldierinos. (switches the channel on the video screen) It's Nintendo time.
3rd - David Bourke with:
(after Larry Brash)
John is getting married to the girl of his dreams, Wendy. He decides to surprise her with a very special wedding present. His gift is to have a tattoo... her name on his penis.
John goes off to a tattooist, who explains that this might be a bit painful
and that he can only undertake this if John has an erection. He nervously
agrees to go ahead, as he is so much in love with Wendy. He takes the
pain and soon it is done, with "WENDY" on the shaft of his male member.
After his penis is flaccid, John notices that he can see just the first letter
of her name, a "W", and last letter, a "Y", as the middle letters are in the
folds of his skin.
=
John and his bride go on their honeymoon to the West Indies.
They get off the plane at Jamaica. John's in dire need of the
toilet. When he's at the urinal to relieve himself, this fit,
six-feet-three, West Indian fellow enters and starts to urinate.
John, having heard it said that black men are "large chaps",
looks down and gasps as he sees that the other man has "W"
and "Y" on his shaft.
He nervously addresses the chap,
"The tattoo...it's like mine! I'd guess...perhaps your girl's
Wendy too, right?", stretching his penis to show him it.
"Ah no, mon! See - it's different. If it's stiff, it's:
WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF JAMAICA AND HAVE A NICE DAY!"
=
"Ha ha ha! Thanks indeed! Pleased to meet you, sir!" said John.
"Ah fine...yo's welcome!" replied the rastaman. "I and I is
Everton...Everton Green. Hey, yo name is?"
"Oh, it's John...John Williams", he replied, doing-up his flies.
Then after (the first evening), John and his sexy, sophisticated
trouble-and-strife went off to shag, to consummate their marriage.
Unknown to him, Wendy had had her initials discreetly tattooed
onto her oh-so-perfect arse...the left and the right buttocks.
Oh, imagine it! What a fantastic sight is this!
John, stiffening fast, he was fascinated, speechless, to realise
that as she bent over, that this spelled "WOW"!
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The 1st verse of Jabberwocky
2nd - James H. Young with:
Google
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Annabel Lee
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The hardcore-porno star Linda Lovelace =
Deep Throat's carnal icon loved her oral!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The calendar model =
A doll had men erect.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Ah! A suppository clue... ~
Oh, place it up your ass.
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