Anagrammy Placegetters for May 2006
All the highly-placed anagrams from the May 2006 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sumo tournaments =
Enormous mutants!
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
My real vision? Beating the Germans! =
Every Englishman's great ambition.
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
A watched pot never boils =
Observe the cold pan....wait!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Scott Gardner with:
The Da Vinci Code: Special Illustrated Edition =
Anti-Catholic? Loved detailed pictures inside!
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Motion picture: 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' =
We've electroshock option on menu to cure fits.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Kate Bush: 'Wuthering Heights' =
Sang her best with huge UK hit.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The Spanish team Barcelona =
The champions beat Arsenal
2nd - Don Rogers with:
Genocide in Darfur =
Did foreign UN care?
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Mount Merapi, Central Java, Indonesia =
Lava eruption means a major incident.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Screen icon Fred Astaire =
One's dances are terrific!
2nd - View with:
Princess Stephanie Of Monaco =
In casino, perhaps? Comes often!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Footballing star Ronaldinho =
Brilliant on goal, and so forth.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The Church of Scientology =
Goofy cult cons the rich, eh?
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Disney Theme Park Resorts, Florida =
Kids, parents, mostly here for a ride.
3rd - Paul Pan with:
Serbia-Montenegro =
Merge, or be nations?
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
eq.1st - Tony Crafter with:
Miss Keira Knightley to be The New Face of Chanel's ‘Coco Mademoiselle’=
Nice, gentle, wholesome choice. Man, I bet Kate Moss is really hacked off!
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Gary Griffin book, 'Penis Enlargement Methods: Fact and Phallusy'=
One fraud by a hack tells the men to find a proper magnifying glass!
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." - Thomas Edison =
Our president, opining: "Idiocy is one percent an appointment (I ran), the rest in insaneness."
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
After having their ninth child, a Brummy couple decide it's enough as they can't afford a larger bed. So the husband goes to his doctor and says that he and his wife don't want to have any more children.
The doctor tells him there is a procedure called a vasectomy that will usually solve the problem yet it is very expensive.
"A less costly alternative is to go home, get a big firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold it to the ear and count to ten."
The Brummy says, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can held against my ear is going to sort me out."
"Yes, it seems iffy, but trust me, it will do the job", says the GP.
So the man dashes off home, lights a banger and puts it in a beer can. Then he holds the can next to his ear and begins to count: "One, two, three, four, five..." at which point he pauses and puts the beer can between his legs so he can carry on counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works very well in Liverpool, Manchester, Essex and anywhere in Wales
=
A married couple are motoring along at a controlled thirty miles per hour, the wife at the wheel.
Then her husband blurts out, "I realise we've been married twenty years, but ...I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, but gradually increases her speed to forty mph.
The husband continues. "I'm having a fling with your best friend, because the sex is a hell of a lot better than any stagnant congress with you. Don't attempt to oppose me or to change my mind."
Still she remains silent. And the speed goes up to fifty.
Bolder now, he decides to push his luck. "I want the house too."
Sixty mph.
"And the car," he continues.
Sixty-five mph.
"And I'll have the rest too - bank accounts, credit cards, and the boat."
The car, racing on, strays towards a concrete bridge.
This gets him nervous, and he asks: "So, isn't there anything you need?"
The wife replies in a calm, controlled voice.
"No, Bob, I've got everything I need."
"Oh, really," he snorts, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall, the wife shoots a glance at him and smiles; "The airbag."
eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
The former singer of The Beatles, Sir Paul McCartney,
and his spouse Heather Mills are separating, after
four years of marriage
=
The geriatric performer fears she may prepare fresh,
sure-fire alimony claims...but I fear, as a rule,
she hasn't got a leg to stand on!
eq.2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Within the first three months of the year, G. W. Bush has been the punchline of three hundred and seven monologue jokes by late-night show hosts Jay Leno, David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, according to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, which always keeps track of such statistics.
=
Leno mainly scoffs at the idiot. Behold! Consider one such fun jab: "Savvy former Pres. Garfield could write French with one hand and Greek with the other, both at the same time! When that ninny Bush learns about this, he says, 'Jesus! A shocking concept! We once had a talking cat for president?'"
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
80 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Queen Elizabeth
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Peace Proposal
3rd - David Bourke with:
Monday's child
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Use a personal lubricant... =
Rubs it on pleasure canal.
eq.2nd - Tony Crafter with:
He: "Do you spit, or swallow?"
She: "Neither, man ...I gargle." =
Oral option how a girl deals with guy's semen here!
eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Lack of inches =
An elfish cock.
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