Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2007
All the highly-placed anagrams from the April 2007 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Rosie Perera with:
College graduation ceremony =
Local guy, art degree, no income.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Medical Examiners ~
excel amid remains.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
'Drama queen' =
A damn queer!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - View with:
Rossini's "The Barber of Seville =
Irresistible shaver of nobles.
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End =
Debonair Sparrow fancied the battles.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Silence is golden in ~
Celine Dion singles.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Students' Massacre at Virginia Tech =
This sad, tragic event stuns America.
2nd - David Bourke with:
The Labour Party's leadership election =
Replace Tony Blair, the stupid arsehole!
3rd - Adie Pena with:
Q: Is Osama bin Laden really still alive? ~
A: Evil Al-Qaedan boss is terminally ill.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The former president Boris Nikolayevich Yeltsin =
Insobriety is the reason for my pickled liver, then?
2nd - View with:
Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun =
Blonde Frau had an Evil Rat.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Boris Nikolayevich Yeltsin =
Heavy insobriety kills icon?
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion =
Home of shapely-bunny sharing!
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Statues of Easter Island =
I felt stone heads stare at us!
3rd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
The United States Postal Service =
Visit us to send a letter cheapest.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists ~
help irrational nutcases and crazy fools get well. Sanity ahead!
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
If You Were the Only Girl in the World and I Were the Only Boy =
Who will I, one lonely nerd, try to breed with if you're gay, hen?
3rd - Tom Myers with:
The Parker Brothers Deluxe Turntable Edition Scrabble Crossword Game =
Box contains wider board, has better letter holder rack, rules. Superb! Gem!
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Spring is passing by
Birds weep, and even the eyes
Of fish are tearful
=
Vestiges of Spring
Shy new life appears and ends
Her beauty is brief
2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
Spring is passing by
Birds weep, and even the eyes
Of fish are tearful
=
Hibernation ends.
I view flying geese pass far,
Sped by fresh pasture.
Eq.3rd - Adie Pena with:
Spring is passing by
Birds weep, and even the eyes
Of fish are tearful
=
Bereaving suffers
Easy, death spawns life, brings hope,
Serendipity.
Eq.3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Spring is passing by
Birds weep, and even the eyes
Of fish are tearful
=
Winter of big seas.
Happy if in trees
I spy green leaves and fresh buds.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Dash by Linda Ellis
2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
US constitution second amendment: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed
=
Indeed, but is the blatant massacre of the teenage American students killed by the loner Cho Seung-Hui's relentless weapon a fitting, legitimate price to pay for freedom or not?
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, his wife fell ill and passed away.
The local undertaker told the husband, "You can get her body shipped home for £12,450, or you can bury it right here for an inexpensive£367."
The man considered it for a moment and told him he'd have her sent home.
The undertaker exclaimed, "Why would you want to go and spend extra to ship your wife home? It would be so fitting to be buried in this great Holy Land and it will only cost you £367."
The man replied, "Well, a long time ago a guy died and was buried here. Three days later he was rising from the dead. Man, I just cannot take that chance!"
=
Chuck, a typical woodenhead macho man, had just married a very good-looking lady, and after the wedding he laid down the following 7 rules for her:
"I shall come home: 1. When I want. 2. If I want. 3. At what time I want. 4. I do not expect any hassle from you. 5. I expect dinner to be ready on the table unless I tell you otherwise. 6. I shall go off hunting, drinking and card-playing with my buddies when I feel the need to, and 7. Don't you dare - repeat, DARE - give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules and procedures. Any comments?"
His new wife replied, "No, that's agreeable, but just understand that I shall be having sex here at 6.30 every night ... whether you're home or not!"
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sonnet 144
2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Sonnet 71
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during an icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without noticing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a big heart attack. The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I’ve arrived
I bet you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
=
Bill Gates dies and turns up forthwith at the pearly gates (no pun intended), where he is told in an interview that they don't know whether to send him up to Heaven or down to Hell. Up for his heroic role in "a PC on every desk and in every home," or down for Microsoft software, and Windows in particular.
So while the Father and Son-Redeemer are making up their conjoined minds, they send him down for a sneak preview of Hades. It's uncrowded, a carefree society. Full of wonder; delicious food; palm trees; lovely, affectionate and erotic Hawaiian girls; camaraderie to outdo all earth camaraderie; comfy chairs; fine wine; aesthetic heirloom decor; no hotheaded war; no tedium; no outdated, humdrum, "thee-thou" church; free travel; all the coffee you can consume; riotous humour; accurate news media; infinite free education; and furthermore -- majorly awesome computers! (Steve Jobs is there, too.) Wowed, Bill does not need to see any more, and he tells them he has chosen to go to hell to settle there.
Seven days later, St. Gabriel drops in to see how Gates is doing down there, and finds the man huddled in a very dark, very hot pit, submerged up to his head in very evil smelling cow manure.
"Hi, there," says Gabriel. "How is it going here?"
"Just awful," says Bill, eyeing the messenger's crucifix. "Do breathe a whiff of this! Whew! This is nothing like what you showed me!"
"What? Oh, sorry," says the angel. "That was the beta version."
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Same-sex relationship =
I am expert in assholes!
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Visit the loo =
I love to shit!
3rd - View with:
The erection =
To entice her.
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