Anagrammy Placegetters for February 2008
All the highly-placed anagrams from the February 2008 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A Monday morning =
Man in angry mood.
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
See no evil;
Hear no evil;
Speak no evil.
=
Rash in love?
Ease in love;
Keep in love!
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Irate insects and bugs ~
scare, bite, and sting us.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Venus de Milo sculpture from Ancient Greece =
Item's got centre place in French Musee du Louvre.
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
"No Country for Old Men" wins the best picture award =
Two Coen brothers dwarf opulent cinema industry.
3rd - View with:
Singer Amy Winehouse =
So, yes, I'm a huge winner!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
Fidel Castro retires =
Dictator's isle freer?
2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
Tense politics underlie a ~
US Presidential election.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Singer Amy Winehouse's addiction =
I wasted my genius on heroin acids.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
The actor Daniel Day-Lewis: ~
"Ideally, I wanted the Oscar!"
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Edmund Percival Hillary =
Advanced merrily uphill!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The former astronaut Neil Alden Armstrong =
Great elder. Lunar star. First man on the moon!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
France's Arc de Triomphe =
Charmed centre of Paris.
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Venus de Milo =
Nudes, I love them.
3rd - Neil Ramsay with:
Transcendental Meditation =
Man radiated silent content.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors =
One-and-only deal: Collect dead one, stuff it in hearse, and inter it. RIP.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Why is it that our children cannot read the Bible in schools, but they can in a prison? =
The ethnic child can rebut it as delusory, while a British-born con hasn't any option!
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
I know the boiling point of water's exactly two hundred and twelve degrees Fahrenheit, and yet ~
nowadays, we, the enlightened, vastly prefer a flow textbook with one hundred Centigrade in it.
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The funny little groundhog
Digs a home in the fall,
And hides there all winter
Rolled up in a ball.
On February second
He comes out of there
To look at the sky
And to sniff the air.
=
Dear Old Man Winter,
Time is nigh likely to ease your harsh hold
On this one little plug of turf
And assign the unbearable and lonely cold
To the other end of the Earth.
Fuck off!
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
I don't like to suffer
harsh elements too long
I bet when spring defeats them all,
I'll break out into song.
In life and death you can hear unfold
your healthy hatred for the cold.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
The end of old Winter means a holy beginning,
The color of youth and the hue of Spring.
Like a foolish, lustful breath on a fresh start;
Ended to ultimately rekindle a cold heart.
THE LONG CATEGORY
Eq1st - Tony Crafter with:
Paddy O'Reilly boarded the train and found himself sharing a compartment with a snobbish-looking Englishman and his pugnacious little dog.
"Hey, what koind of pet moight ye have there, sir?" he asked, in a polite attempt at conversation.
"This? It's a cross between an orang-utan and an Irishman," was the testy reply.
"Bejesus! You mean it's related to the both of us?" said Paddy.
=
An old drunk got on a train, sat beside a priest, and began reading the paper.
After a bit, he looked up and said, "Father, what causes arthritis?"
This was just the chance opening the priest wanted. "I'll tell you, my man! It's caused by immoral living, by demon drink and by too many sins of the flesh! So ... how long have you had it?"
"Oh no, it's not me," said the man. "It says here the Pope's got it."
Eq1st - Don Rogers with:
An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees do I see before me!", he thought. "What noble icy rivers do I survey! Such beautiful animals come before my eye!"
He proceeded along the river. As he did, he noted a rustling in among some nearby bushes. Turning to look, he was vexed to see a seven-foot bear on the attack, charging exactly toward him.
Did I say vexed? Of course he immediately ran, panickingly, as rapidly as he could, up the tortuous path. Looking backward, he saw the bear as it closed in on him. His heart beat frantically, he tried to run even faster, and at once he tripped and fell onto the rocky ground. As he crawled over to pick himself up, he saw the bear raising a thick paw to swipe at him.
Then the atheist cried out despairingly, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze its motion in mid-swipe.
The forest was suddenly, utterly silent. ~
Then a very bright light shone on the man, and a Voice from the sky said, "Here, trespassing, you denied awareness of My very existence all these years -- taught children I don't exist -- amazingly, credited creation itself to a cosmic accident. I ask, do you now expect Me to just help you wriggle out of this predicament? Am I supposed to count you as a believer, as a worshipper even?"
Strengthening somewhat, the paling atheist looked forward, straight into the bright light, and remarked, "I see it would be hypocritical of me to ask You to treat me as a Christian now. But perhaps," he bargained feebly, "could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Ahhh... Indeed. Very well," answered the Voice.
The light went out, and the sounds of the park resumed.
The bear lowered his paw, bowed his head, and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food I am about to receive, for which I am truly thankful. Amen."
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
A mouse dies and goes to heaven. After a few days, he approaches St. Peter and says "Wow, I love this place, but it's so big! Our little legs make it hard to get around here." Peter says, "Hmm. Very well then" and gives him and all the mice roller skates.
=
Some time later a dark old starved cat dies and goes to heaven. After a few days there, St. Peter asks him subtly, "How are things going, eh?" Undaunted, he marvels, "This sweet hospitable place -- I love it! Especially your meals-on-wheels program!"
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Lady of Shalott
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
20 PERKS OF BEING OVER 60 YEARS OLD.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. Nobody expects you to run - anywhere.
4. People call you at 9.00pm and ask, "Oh ... did I wake you?"
5. You are no longer viewed as a chronic hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left for you to learn the hard way any more.
7. You know that things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat your supper at four o'clock in the afternoon.
9. You can live without sex (although you can't live without your glasses).
10. You get into very heated arguments over pension plans.
11. You no longer think of every speed limit as a deadly challenge.
12. You now quit trying to hold your stomach in, regardless of who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyesight won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are usually more accurate meteorologists than the weather forecast.
17. Your secrets are now safe with your friends because they don't remember any of them either.
18. Your diminishing supply of brain cells have finally come down to a manageable number (3).
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. Or which folks you sent it to, so do prepare to be told a few times, that you would have sent this out before.
=
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave keys.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 19 phone numbers to reach members of your family of 3 people.
4 You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for never keeping in touch with friends and family is that they haven't got e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own drive and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Nearly every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, (which you were quite happy not to have the first 10, 20 or more years of your life), is now a cause for major panic and stress. You turn back to get it.
10. You get up in the mornings and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing!
13. Even worse, bet you know exactly to whom you're going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there's no number 9 on this list.
15. Bet you actually scrolled back up to check that there really wasn't a number 9 on this list!
16. AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING - at yourself!
17. Go on, forward this to some unfortunate pals. You blatantly know you want to!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Circle of Life
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A lack of preparation =
A fool.. a prick.. a parent
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
A raving poof =
Vagina-proof!
3rd - View with:
National Condom Week =
Come and know elation!
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