Anagrammy Placegetters for January 2008

All the highly-placed anagrams from the January 2008 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
William Shakespeare's "The Tempest" =
Will's theme is "Sea keeps them apart!"

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Miss America Contest =
Master cosmeticians.

3rd - Neil Ramsay with:
The Robert Burns classic "Auld Lang Syne" =
A tune sung by shrill and cerebral Scots.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
Britney Spears loses the custody of her two children =
Total psycho-witch, she surrenders boys to Federline.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Winehouse in rehab =
When I abuse heroin.

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Recall the grim death of ~
film actor Heath Ledger.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Democrat Senator Barack Hussein Obama =
A rare, honest American asked to combat Bush.

2nd - David Bourke with:
The Illinois Democrat senator, Barack Hussein Obama =
A black icon has ideas to terminate serial moron Bush.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
The late mountaineer, Sir Edmund Percival Hillary =
And he loved cruel Himalayas until retirement. RIP.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Rosie Perera with:
Yosemite National Park =
Area many like to stop in.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus ~
is the scary lethal topic at numerous U.S. clinics.

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The tight Scotsman: ~
"That thing costs me!"

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
How come that we choose from just two people to run for President and over fifty for Miss America? =
The women's seductive cup-ratios are more important forms of joy than the offices of world power?

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
How To Be King of the Media Jungle by Chris Roycroft-Davis =
1) Hijack others' creativity.
2) Show off on blog.
3) Demur big.
4) Deny.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
English author and mathematician Charles Lutwidge Dodgson ~
has got on him the magical drugs that Alice used in Wonderland.

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Bryan Crain with:
Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk!"
Churchill: "And Madam, you are ugly. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."
= r>
Blair: "I am timorously troubled by your unreasonable lawmaking, oddly woolly logic, and lurid, redneck crudeness."
Bush: "What?"

2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk!"
Churchill: "And Madam, you are ugly. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."
=
Bush: Die, Rot! You mad, irksome outcast Arab world scoundrel.
Bin Laden: Away! You old warmongering redneck US hillbilly bully!

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk!"
Churchill: "And Madam, you are ugly. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."
=
Madonna: "Guy; can I borrow your cards, dude? I would like to order a wild li'l black number!"
Guy (yells): "Hell missus! Not another baby?"

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
On Saturday nights the three lads always went off to town together, but Seamus made a point of passing the church so he could attend confession, while the other mates waited outside.

"It has been a week since my last confession father," said Seamus, "and I'm sorry to say I have sinned of the flesh again."

"Was it that strumpet Babs O'Mairan from the dairy?"

"No father."

"Then, was it those cheeky Brady girls in the fruit shop?"

"No father."

"Don't tell me it was the widow Murphy paradin' her wares again?"

"No father."

"Very well; do your penance and be off with you then," said the priest.

Seamus dashed from the church to his waiting mates. "Great!" he said, "I've been told at least three amazing tips for tonight!"

=

"Father," confessed the man shyly, "yesterday I made love to my wife."

The priest assured the man there was nothing wrong with that.

"But father, I did it with ... lust."

Again, the priest told him it wasn't a sin.

"This was in the middle of the day though, father. Is that okay?"

The priest was getting uneasy with so many uncomfortable descriptions but assured his parishioner that it was a naturally healthy act for a man and wife.

"But father, it was a shameless act of passion. As she leant over the deep freeze I pounced on her and we made love right there on the floor! So ... does it mean I am banned from going to church?"

"Of course not," said the priest.

"Oh, thank goodness, because we're banned from Safeways."

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Obama's Top Ten list on The Late Show with David Letterman:
"Barack Obama Campaign Promises"
10. To keep the budget balanced, I'll rent the situation room for sweet sixteens.
9. I will double your tax money at the craps table.
8. Appoint Mitt Romney secretary of lookin' good.
7. If you bring a gator to the White House, I'll wrassle it.
6. I'll put Regis on the nickel.
5. I'll rename the tenth month of the year "Barack-tober."
4. I won't let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model.
3. I'll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece.
2. Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear.
1. Three words: Vice President Oprah.
=
Ten Enumerable Hillary Clinton Campaign Promises...(Ten!)
10. Let talented Bill back into the White House (and he gets his own private bedroom).
9. Send that weedy outdated dolt George Bush packing back to Texas. (Heehaw! LOL!)
8. Motto: Read my lips: new taxes!
7. Mitt Romney who?
6. Rename Capitol Hill to Capitol Hillary (after dearly departed Edmund, of course).
5. Detente: Reinstate French fries in the White House cafeteria.
4. Let's make sure my photo ops are never in parachutist garb on aircraft carrier.
3. I won't babble aloud stupidly like the unimaginitive guy in there now. (LOL!)
2. Rout the overpopulation problem.
1. Toot my own horn! (Toot! Toot! Beep! Beep!)

Eq3rd - John Fidler with:
A is for Alibi
B Is for Burglar
C Is for Corpse
D Is for Deadbeat
E Is for Evidence
F Is for Fugitive
G Is for Gumshoe
H Is for Homicide
I Is for Innocent
J Is for Judgment
K Is for Killer
L Is for Lawless
M Is for Malice
N Is for Noose
O Is for Outlaw
P Is for Peril
Q Is For Quarry
R Is for Ricochet
S Is for Silence
T Is for Trespass

=

A is for Acid
B Is for Bullet
C Is for Chisel
D Is for Devil Claw
E Is for Elegy
F Is for Fearless
G Is for Guncrime U.S.
H Is for Hate
I Is for Iced
J Is for J'accuse!
K Is for Kidnap Trap
L Is for Law
M Is for Murderer
N Is for Nightmare
O Is for Oblivion
P Is for Poisoner
Q Is For Question
R Is for Recoil
S Is for Siege
T Is for Tombstone

Eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
A group of Cubans desert their island and are on their way to Miami. In the middle of their arduous journey, the weakest grey one suffers a massive heart attack and, as his last dying wish, asks for a flag to say "Adios" to his dearest country. Having abandoned everything in Havana, the other Cuban men search desperately within their boat to find something that will resemble a flag of their country... a t-shirt or a handkerchief perhaps. Nada!

Almost ready to abandon all hope, a gorgeous 20-year-old girl interrupts their desperate search to offer a tattoo of a waving Cuban flag inscribed on the left cheek of her buttocks.
~
A rather pat idea, she pulls down her jeans, revealing the Cuban flag in a beautifully-shaped tanned buttock cheek area. She approaches the dying man and offers her attractive ass, for free, right on his crinkled face. The old man fondles the 'flag,' grabs her fine cheek with both hands and begins to kiss the artistic tattoo, reiterating "My dear Cub-aaah! With great sadness, I say "Aaah-dios" to you forever! I will miss you soon thereafter my birthland, Havan-aaah..."

After going on for almost 20 torturous minutes, the deteriorated man says to the poor, teary-eyed girl, "Now, chica... turn around, por favor... I want to kiss Fidel good-bye!"

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Rosie Perera with:
The Gashlycrumb Tinies

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
My Generation

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Material Girl