Anagrammy Placegetters for November 2009

All the highly-placed anagrams from the November 2009 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Rembrandt's 'The Anatomy Lesson of Dr Nicolaes Tulp'. =
A lot of minor students enthralled by a man's corpse!

2nd - Adie Pena with:
E. C. Segar's Popeye the Sailor Man =
Seagoer employs spinach-eater.

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Popeye the Sailor Man =
My hero (also, neat pipe).

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The American film star Leonardo DiCaprio =
Hailed as cool performer in Titanic drama.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Shakespeare, the English Bard =
Readable phrases: he's the king!

3rd - Tom Myers with:
The former Disciple Judas Iscariot =
To perform suicide as Christ jailed

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Visiting Caesar's Palace ~
is a practice in Las Vegas.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Night of Halloween =
Heathen following?

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Former cities of East Berlin and West Berlin =
I notice most barriers fall between friends.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
(Old friends, sat side by side):
"My wife said, 'What are you doing today, Gus?'
"I said, 'Nothin'.' =
"So my wife said, 'Dear God! But you also did nothing yesterday!'
"I said, 'I wasn't finished'."

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." =
First line of Austen opus--Woman augured that Darcy is soon going to fall in love with, and take as wife, Miss Bennet.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
A smartly dressed man walks into a bar holding an alligator. He goes up to the bartender saying, "Do you serve lawyers here?" =
The bartender says, "Yes sir, sure we do, sir."
"Oh, good man. So get us a long drink then, a tap beer... and my alligator'll have a lawyer.

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Eighteenth World Puzzle Championship in Antalya, Turkey =

2nd - Larry Brash with:
Eighteenth World Puzzle Championship in Antalya, Turkey =
Our dazzling hit entertainment which keeps you all happy.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Eighteenth World Puzzle Championship in Antalya, Turkey =
Hint: Charming yet zany people plan their Sudoku with zeal!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for well over a year. On her return, her Father scolded her. 'Well Colleen? Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even one line? And why didn't ye call? Can't ye understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff...Dad...I became a... Miami prostitute...'

'What!!?' he bellowed. 'Get out of here, ye shameless sinning harlot! You're a disgrace to this good old Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this highly expensive fur coat, and these deeds to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus an eight-million-dollar savings certificate. Also, I've got me little brother Ian this gold Rolex. And for you Daddy, I got the sparkling new Porsche limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the Queens Country Club... (takes a quick breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board me yacht in St Tropez and...'

'Now what was it ye said that ye had become?' said the dad.

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff...a prostitute, father.'

'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a big hug.'

=

CHARLES AND CAMILLA'S WEDDING NIGHT.

Camilla had bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding day, but they got increasingly tighter as the day wore on.

That night after the festivities were finished, and she and Charles had retired back to their room, Camilla flopped onto the bed and said, 'Would you please remove my shoes darling. One's feet are just killing one.'

Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales seized her right shoe and started to attack it with vigour but, despite his efforts, it just wouldn't budge.

'Harder!' yelled Camilla. 'Harder!'

Charles yelled back, 'Yes, my darling, I'm trying! But, you see, it's so bloody tight!'

'Come on give it your all!' she cried out, even louder.

When it was finally off, Charles uttered a loud groan, and Camilla exclaimed, 'Yes! Yes! That feels so good.'

In their bedroom next door, The Queen turned to Prince Philip and said stiffly, 'You see - I told you she must be a virgin, with a face like that!'

Meantime, back in the other bedroom, a perspiring Charles was trying to remove the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh my god, this one's an even tighter fit!'

At that point, Prince Philip turned to the Queen and said, 'That's my boy: Once a navy man, always a navy man!'

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Vincent

eq2nd - Tony Crafter with:
A woman brought her very limp-looking pet duck Jojo into her local veterinary surgery. As she placed her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened very carefully to the bird's chest.

After a minute or two, the veterinary surgeon shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your duck has passed away."

The distraught woman wailed, "Oh, no, not my poor Jojo! How sure are you?"

"How sure am I? I am very sure. The duck is definitely dead," replied the vet.

"Ah, but how can you be so certain?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He may just be snoozing or in a deep coma or something."

The surgeon rolled his eyes as he turned and left the room.

He came back a few minutes later with a brown Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with very gloomy eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a ginger cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to webbed-feet. Then the cat sat back on his haunches, shook his head, meowed and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and sighed, "Well, I am sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a deceased duck."

He went to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he gave to the woman.

The bird's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill. "Good heavens! $1500.00?" she gasped, "$1500.00 just to tell me my poor Jojo has died?"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry.If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have only been $50.00, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1500.00."

=

A man was walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker caught his eye.

He struck up a conversation and eventually asked, 'How much do you charge?'

The hooker replied, 'It starts at $500 for a hand-job.'

'$500 dollars?!' spluttered the man. 'Hell, no hand-job's worth that kind of money!'

The hooker said, 'Do you see that Denny's on the corner?'

'Yes.'

'Do you see that Denny's a block further down?'

'Yes.'

'And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?'

'Yes.'

'Well,' added the hooker, smiling, 'I own them. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500.'

The man said, 'What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try.'

They retired to a motel.

A short time later, slumped on the bed, the man admitted that he'd just had the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every cent of $500. He was so amazed, he said, 'I suppose a blow-job's $1,000?'

The hooker replied, '$1,500.'

'That's daft! I'd never pay that for a blow-job.'

The hooker murmured, 'Step over to the window, buddy.'

'See that casino across the street? I own it outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500.'

The man, still basking in the memory of that terrific hand-job, decided to put off the tempting new car for a further year, and said, 'Ok, dammit, I'm up for it!'

Ten minutes later, he sat on the bed more amazed than before. He could scarcely believe it but, he concurred that he'd truly got his money's worth.

He decided to dip into the retirement savings for just one more unforgettable experience. He asked the hooker, 'How much for some pussy?'

The hooker replied, 'Come over here, there's something I want you to see.

'D'you see Las Vegas laid out before us? All those vivid lights, splendid gambling palaces, and lustrous show places?'

'Dammit!' the man said, in awe, 'You own the whole goddamn city?'

No,' the hooker replied, 'but I would if I had a pussy.'

eq2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
World Puzzlers Championship PUZZLE

1	1		2	2			3	4	3
3	2	4	3	4	1		2	5	1

4	4	1	1	5	3		3	6	1
3	2	5	5	2	4		6	2	5	4

7		2	8	5	1	3	6
5	1	3	4	2				9	4	7	5
6	4							2	6	1	3

1. Someone who is dazzlingly skilled in any field, 2. A person of no refinement; barbarian, 3. Famous soccer club from Rome, 4. Compartment in an automobile that carries luggage or shopping or tools, 5. Short underpants for women or children (usually used in the plural), 6. A notch or open space between two merlons in a crenelated battlement, 7. The name of American model, actress and singer Tisdale, 8. A period of time when something (as a machine or factory) is functioning and available for use, 9. A fictional character from the Hellraiser series; also a term for an ignorant or foolish person
Use the definitions to fill up all nine pieces with letters, in the order of given numbers. After that, set all the pieces on the diagram 6x8. Puzzle pieces may be rotated, but not reflected, and pieces with same colour may not touch each other, not even diagonally. If you do all correctly, as a solution you will get the name of the recent international competition for puzzlers.

As a help, on the diagram are letters of Will Shortz, the founder of international competition from the solution.


	W			L
	Z				H
		O		S
I						L
	T		R

The Solution (opens in a new window/tab)