Anagrammy Placegetters for March 2010
All the highly-placed anagrams from the March 2010 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder =
We embark and ache for togetherness.
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Masculinity =
Ain't I muscly?
3rd - David Bourke with:
A memorial stone: ~
"No more time, alas!"
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
Eq1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Michelangelo's art in the Sistine Chapel =
Masterpiece shall shine on that ceiling!
Eq1st - Scott Gardner with:
George A. Romero's "Night of the Living Dead" =
Good God, there's a real frightening movie!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Charles Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species' ~
showed certain life-progression chains.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest man =
The Carlos Slim billions negate nerd's growth.
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The suicide bombers in Moscow =
Women subscribe to homicides.
Eq3rd - Tom Myers with:
The Holy See, Pope Benedict XVI =
Pedophiles, they've been toxic.
Eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
Paedophiliac priests =
Pope: "It is a child's rape!"
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
The U.S. film director Kathryn Bigelow =
"The Hurt Locker" wins big time for lady!
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
President Roosevelt of the USA =
The result of a Depression vote.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mary Shelley's Victor Frankenstein =
"I invent scary, freaky hell-monsters!"
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Scott Gardner with:
The Apple Corporation =
Laptop, iPhone creator
2nd - View with:
A Toyota Prius =
It's a ropy auto.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
International Prostitutes Collective =
Tarts in union all vote to elicit respect.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
A very drunk man stumbling out of a bar, bumps into a priest. "I am Jesus Christ!" he declares. "No, son, you are not", says the priest. =
"But I'll prove it", says the drunk, "in my pub." So the pair enter, to fearsome sounds: a barman screams, "Jesus Christ, not YOU again!"
2nd - Adie Pena with:
THE WORLD'S FIVE DEADLIEST SNAKES*
1. Fierce
2. King Brown
3. Papuan Taipan
4. Mainland Tiger
5. Eastern Tiger =
PICKING PEOPLE SEEN AS WORST EVER, GUARANTEED:
1. Stalin
2. A. Hitler
3. Idi Amin
4. Dr. Frankenstein
5. A daft G. W. B.
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Washington man electrocuted by urinating on power line =
Democrat wanting to pee, encountering a burn on his willy.
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Scott Gardner with:
The first line of 'Cherry Stones' by Winnie The Pooh author, A.A. Milne: "Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief." =
The brunette hair,
Her skin of pearl,
Brilliant as a fire
Or moonlight on the snow;
None may compare
To this girl
I admire--
I fancy her so.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The first line of 'Cherry Stones' by Winnie The Pooh author, A.A. Milne: "Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief." =
A noble wife has many roles. Use them!
Loyal partner in marriage.
Port I go to, if in a storm.
Chef in kitchen
Harlot in bed.
Oh... shirt-ironer!
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The first line of 'Cherry Stones' by Winnie The Pooh author, A.A. Milne: "Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief." =
Healthy, happy,
Unerring man, in
Sensible shoes;
Brilliant, or real faith;
Affectionate, warm;
No nighttime rookie, or
Domestic horror!
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
A guy was having a drink in the bar of the departures lounge at a busy airport, when a beautiful young woman walked in and sat on a chair near to his.
Because she was in uniform, he thought that she was possibly an off-duty flight hostess so he decided to have a crack at picking her up by identifying the airline she worked for, hoping this might just impress her.
He looked across to her and recited the Delta Airlines slogan, "We love to fly and it shows."
The woman just looked at him curiously.
He sat back to reconsider, then he leaned forward again and delivered the Air France slogan: "Winning the hearts of the world."
Again she just stared at him with a rather puzzled look on her face.
Still undeterred, he had another go, this time quoting the Malaysian Airlines slogan: "Going beyond expectations."
The woman looked at him harshly and replied, "Huh? Just what the f**k are you talking about?"
"Ah!" he said, with a knowing smile on his face."Ryan Air."
=
A burglar broke into an apartment one night. As he was shining his flashlight around, checking for the usual valuables, a voice in the dark said, "Jesus knows you're here."
Nearly leaping out of his skin, he clicked his flashlight off and froze, waiting in anticipation. When he heard nothing, he shook his head then continued.
As he started to grab the digital TV, he again heard it, clear as a bell... "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone the light around frantically, seeking the owner of that odd voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot gazing at him. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the bird.
"Yes, I did," the parrot squawked, "I was just trying to warn you that he's watching you."
The man relaxed. "Warn me? And who on earth are you, anyway?"
"Moses," answered the bird.
"Moses?" laughed the burglar in disdain. "What kind of sick people would name a parrot Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
2nd - Adie Pena with:
RECIPE FOR PEACE
1 Statement of Open Honesty
1 Prayer of Serenity
5 1/4 Cups Kindheartedness
1 Yesterday's Sincere Love
1 Reverence
1 Tsp. Restraint
1 Atonement
A Dash of Terrorist-Free Hope
1 1/3 Cups Reforestation
0 Threats to Nature
0 Disease
Stir. Refrigerate. Eat.
=
RECIPE FOR DISASTER
1 President
1 Vice-President
1 Speaker of the House
1 President Pro Tempore of the Senate
1 Secretary of State
1 Secretary of the Treasury
1 Secretary of Defense
1 Attorney General
100 Senators
435 Representatives
...to run this American nation.
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
A priest driving to an appointment after church on a New York road is stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the man's breath, and then easily sees his discarded wine bottle on the car floor.
The trooper demands, "Sir, what have you been drinking?"
"Just water," he murmurs.
The keen cop asks him, "Aha! Then, why do I smell wine?"
Assessing the bottle, the priest cries, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
=
Stopping over into a bar, Mike addresses Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a strong one! I just had another fight with the little woman."
"Not again!" Charlie replies, opening a frosty bottle. "And how did this one end?"
Mike reports, "When it was over, she came to me properly on her hands and knees."
Charles notes, "That's progress! So, what did she say?"
"She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you spineless little chicken!'"
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Scott Gardner with:
[My first attempt at an anagrammatic puzzle. Solve the clues to fill in the numbered answers, then transfer the letters to the appropriate spaces in the grid. The result will be an appropriate quote followed by the name of the author. The clues, answers, and quote are all anagrams of one another.]
1. I fancy Tom Cruise
2. A dunce
3. Emulates Palin
4. Renters
5. Handled
6. Sang "Hit Me Baby"
7. Might K.O.?
=
=
The Solution
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Snake
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Alone - Edgar Allan Poe
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
This may contain traces of nuts =
Fact: That is in anyone's scrotum.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The female reproductive system =
Hey! Sperm detects a fertile ovum!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Plug in arse =
Pleasuring!
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