Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2010

All the highly-placed anagrams from the April 2010 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
Agatha Christie's 'Mysterious Affair at Styles' =
As a first case for my sleuth, I say it's a great hit!

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There =
The touching tale of a gal's hikes through Wonderland.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Harry Potter series' final movies =
A hero inspires for the very last time.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Poland's president =
Plane's drop ends it.

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Muslim group warns 'South Park' creators of death =
USA authors draw results from mocking a prophet.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Chaos: havoc on airlines =
Ooh! Volcanic ash is near!

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Man to girlfriend: "I've got a full set of three Olympic condoms, and I shall wear the gold one first. Chances are, you're ~ in for a hit, gold-medalist performance!"

Girl (frostily): "Tell you what, use the silver one and come second for a change."

2nd - David Bourke with:
The golfer Tiger Woods finishes in fourth place at the Masters in Augusta =
It's a par first game round though...seeing he was a little stiff on the course!

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
A guy walked into a bar with this mutt, saying he could talk. "Get me a beer and watch." "Fido, what is that above us?" The dog said "ROOF!" =
"Who was an ace guy at baseball?" "RUTH!" (Fact - got it!) The barman, Ted, threw the two out. Fido asked: "Ya think I should've said DiMaggio?"

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Who says the Chinese don't have a sense of humour?

Two British businessmen were sitting down for a break in their shortly-to-be opened shop. As yet though, the shop wasn't properly ready - it had no stock and only one shelf had been put up.

One man said to the other, 'I'll just bet that any minute, some damned idiotic tourist is going to come by, stick his face through that door, and ask what we're selling.'

No sooner had the words left his mouth than, as predicted, a curious Chinese tourist peered in through the open door. In a thick Chinese accent, he asked, 'So, what you sell?'

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling ass-holes.'

Without missing a beat, the Chinaman said, 'You doing velly well, only two left!'

=

Three dead bodies turned up at a mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.

The Coroner called the police to inform them what had happened.

The Coroner told the Inspector: 'First body: Angelo Elana, a stereotype Italian, died of heart failure while with his new mistress. Hence, as you see, the enormous smile.'

'Second body: Angus Jackson. Scottish, won twenty-two thousand pounds on the National Lottery but wasted it on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning; hence the insane smile.'

The Inspector asked, 'How about the third body?'

'The most unusual one of all,' said the Coroner: Seamus O'Shaugnessy, Irish, struck by lightning.'

'So, why's he smiling?' asked the Inspector.

'Thought he was having his photo taken!'

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Susie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept off and on during most of the class. One day her teacher, a nun, called on her to answer a question while she was sound asleep. "Tell me Susie, who created the universe?"

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny, who was her friend sitting behind her, took his No. 2 pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

Susie leaped up and shouted, "God Almighty!"

The nun remarked, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.

A little later the nun asked Susie, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny stuck her in the butt.

"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Susie.
~
The incredulous nun enthused, "You're right! Success! Hallelujah!"

But Susie, our still-drowsy schoolgirl, had soon returned to her nap.

Observing this, the relentless nun chose to ask the unaware student a new question: "Susie, answer this...What did Eve say to Adam after she had borne his twenty-third child?"

Nevertheless, Johnny again rescued his friend just in time, poking the sharp No. 2 pencil in her ass. Distressed Susie jumped to action, swore, and bellowed, "If you stick that thing in me once more, I will break it in half!!"

(The classmates all stood and cheered in a chorus of laughter, but the outdone nun had a sudden nosebleed.)

3rd - Adie Pena with:
TOP TEN BUSHISMS: The Stupidest Things The Former U.S. President George W. Bush Has Ever Said

10. "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

9. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

8. "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft."

7. "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

6. "You work three jobs? É Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." [to a divorced mother of 3]

5. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

4. "They misunderestimated me."

3. "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"

2. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

1. "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."

=

TEN OF THE MOST HUMOROUS APRIL FOOL'S DAY HOAXES

- Thanks to the rarity of an enemy (i.e., the spaghetti weevil), Swiss farmers had huge spaghetti crops.

- I see a rookie who pitches at 276.8 km/hour; joins New York Mets.

- A B-and-W set to receive transmissions in color with a nylon stocking over the screen.

- Yesterday, Taco Bell hinted that it bought the Liberty Bell! (Woo-hoo!)

- San Serriffe, a country in the Indian Ocean of many semicolon-shaped islands.

- Do you remember his roguery? An effete, odious Nixon (so, they see your same untrustworthy NOSE!) to run for president again with a new recommended slogan: "I did not do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." (My eye!)

- Southern state initiates the transmutation of pi from 3.14159 to a 'Biblical value' of 3.0.

- Burger King introduces a 'Left-Handed Whopper' for the numerous southpaws in our U.S. nation. (Tee-hee!)

- An eyewitness found a new squirmy genus: The hotheaded naked ice borer!

- Unique moon event causes a remote gravitational alignment; reduces the Earth's gravity.

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Easter

2nd - Mike Keith with:
Three-Way Anagram Crossword Puzzle

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Subject: HELL

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Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2010

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY