Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2011
All the highly-placed anagrams from the April 2011 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Caffeine addiction =
Coffee in a can did it.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Actions speak louder than words =
Talkers cannot aid; Doers show up.
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
At the confessional =
Halt to face one's sin.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Walt Disney movie "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" =
I saw tiny men whistle, serve, wash, and vow to defend.
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Hunchback of Notre Dame =
A French book unmatched.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Often-hummed songs such as "Do Re Mi" starred in ~
Rodgers and Hammerstein's 'The Sound of Music'.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
The upcoming royal wedding of Kate and William =
A whole kingdom welcoming nuptial date: Friday.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Taliban prisoners escape =
Captains are responsible.
3rd - Tom Myers with:
The Fox Network news reporting =
Know their expert's often wrong.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - View with:
Minister Ya'alon =
Israel, my nation.
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The famous artist Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci =
Portrait of Mona Lisa is his credited endeavour.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Catherine Middleton =
I donned the lace-trim.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
New Oxford English Dictionary =
Literacy-honing index of words.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
The Apple Store =
Set laptop here.
3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
London's Westminster Abbey =
Notables by Mr. Newton's side.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
There are skinny boobs (.)(.)
There are larger boobs ( o Y o )
Cold boobs ( ^ )( ^ )
And floppy boobs { o }{ o }
And even those asymmetrical
boobs ( o )( . )
~
There are normal boobs ( . )( . )
Silicone boobs ( + )( + )
Perky boobs ( * ) ( * )
Perfect boobs ( o )( o )
Oh, yes...
And Grandma's boobs \./\./
(And they are lovely too!)
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
When you move home, I'm afraid that you'll find you're now left surrounded by great piles of boxes to be transplanted. =
You will not be able to find any ruddy thing! Before, for example, I am pretty sure we used to have a four months old son.
3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Edition Princess Catherine Engagement Doll =
I get a Middleton replica in eminent designer clothes.
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"Every autobiography is concerned with two characters, a Don Quixote, the Ego, and a Sancho Panza, the Self." W. H. Auden.=
[A poem depicting Dr. Henry Jekyll and Mr. Hyde]
Harsh hate, flood in!
How vast
Each change!
You squat beneath,
Now crazed,
Deranged;
Raw potion can
Excite
Your spite.
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"Every autobiography is concerned with two characters, a Don Quixote, the Ego, and a Sancho Panza, the Self." W. H. Auden. =
And now, a quaint exchange:
Psychiatrist to schizo chap: "Aha! You are both cured then!"
"We are, and we never felt so good!"
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
"Every autobiography is concerned with two characters, a Don
Quixote, the Ego, and a Sancho Panza, the Self." W. H.
Auden. =
That uncrowned queen
A screen act
Yes, the eyes whose gaze
Lit up a paradox:
Oh, good. Or bad, wanton,
Rich, fat, vain. H-hic!
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
A MAN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
1. You are so manly!
2. Be romantic, turn out the light.
3. I want to get new and deluxe velvet lounge drapes
4. I want new footwear: wedding shoes
5. Hang that painting right up there
6. I heard a strange noise ...
7. Do you love me?
8. How much do you love me?
9. I will be ready soon
10. Does my butt look at all fat in these?
11. You have to learn to communicate
12. Are you listening, dear, are you?
13. Yes
14. No
15. Perhaps
16. I am sorry
17. I feel this is a dated kitchen, awful, all wrong
18. Do you like this recipe?
19. Was that the baby?
=
1. You need a shave and you sweat a lot
2. I have flabby thighs, and cellulite. OMG!
3. and carpets, furniture, wallcoverings and such
4. The other pairs are the wrong white
5. NO! I mean there!
6. I noticed you were almost asleep
7. I'm about to ask for something rather expensive.
8. I did something today you're really not going to like
9. Go and find a TV game to watch
10. Tell me I'm beautiful
11. Agree with me
12 Too late, you're dead
13. No
14. No
15. No
16. You'll be sorry
17. I want a new house
18. It's easy
19. Why don't you get up and walk him until he's asleep.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
"Oh, Doctor," pleaded the woman, "I just don't know what to do. Every night, my husband comes home insanely drunk and beats me to a pulp."
"Ah, I have a really good cure for that," replied the doctor. "Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a drink of sweet tea and then start swishing it around in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he has gone to bed and is asleep."
Some days later, the woman returned to the doctor and flounced in looking fresh, bubbly and reborn. "Hey, doctor!" she gushed, "that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and I swished, and he didn't touch me once! How on earth does the tea do that?"
The doctor replied: "The tea does sod all, it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."
=
A woman was in bed with her lover when she suddenly heard the front door opening.
"Oh my God, it's my husband!" she cried, "Stand in the corner!"
She hurriedly rubbed baby oil all over the worried man, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Ok, so don't move until I tell you to," she whispered; "pretend you're a statue."
The husband came upstairs into the room. "What's... that?" he asked warily.
"Oh, just some statue," she muttered casually, "I saw the Jacksons had bought one and liked it, so I decided I must get us one as well."
No more was said, and they went to bed.
Around two o'clock in the morning the husband got up, tiptoed to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a cool beer.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
eq1st - Tony Crafter with:
Autobiography [version II]
eq1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Here are a few of the best text message abbreviations that have been used by seniors in social networking:
AAK: Alive And Kicking
ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend's Funeral
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
CBM: Covered By Medicaid
CRS: Can't Remember Stuff
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: For Your Indigestion
GGMLKI: Gotta Go, My Laxative's Kicking In
GGMPBL: Gotta Go, My Pacemaker Battery's Low
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
IMHMO: In My HMO
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LOL: Laying On Linoleum
LOLS: Living On Life Support
MGAD: My Grandson's A Doctor
MILF: Meal I Like To Forget
OMG: Oy, My Grandchildren!
OMG: Ouch, My Groin!
PIMP: Pooped In My Pants
RULKM: Are You Leaving Kids Money?
WTF: Wet The Furniture
~
AAK: Asleep At Keyboard
BBA: Born Bingo Aficionado
BVV: *Bleeping* Varicose Veins!
CTC: Change The Channel
EFM: Eligible For Medicaid
ENR: Eccentric, Not Rich
GOML: Get Off My Lawn
GTG: Got To Grumble
HTTV: Hurry, Take The Viagra!
IICR: If I Can't Remember...
IDK: I Don't Knit
IFMP: I Forgot My Pillbox
IHSK: I Have Stiff Knees
IL: Independent Living
IMHO: Is My Hearing-aid On?
INAGBM: I Need A Good Bowel Movement
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LMGA: Lost My Glasses Again
NW: New Wrinkle
OMR: Off My Recliner
OMSG: Oh, My! Sorry...Gas
ROTF...CGU: Rolling On The Floor... Can't Get Up!
SUS: Speak Up, Sonny!
TGIF: Thank God It's Four (It's time for an 'Early Bird Special'?)
TMTR: Too Much To Remember
TNE: Tired, Not Expired
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WIWYA: When I Was Your Age
WWIS: What Was I Saying?
3rd - Harshal M. with:
Earth Song
THE RUDE CATEGORY
eq1st - David Bourke with:
The sado-masochist bondage party =
Hasty orgasm, chained to a bedpost!
eq1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Catherine Middleton =
"Mind the erection, lad!"
3rd - Adie Pena with:
Spreading the thighs wide open =
Gosh! Get hard penis deep within.
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