Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2013

All the highly-placed anagrams from the April 2013 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
Alfred Hitchcock Presents =
Half-decent script shocker.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Masterchef finalist =
Crafts this fine meal.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
English movie: 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' =
Maggie Smith excels in it. Love her! (the old boot).

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Nukes are not a help in ~
the Korean Peninsula.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
'Iron Lady' Margaret Hilda Thatcher dies. =
Not real tragic. I'm hardly sad. I hated her.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
'Iron Lady' Margaret Hilda Thatcher dies =
Oh, that's tragic. And I really admired her.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
'Stonehenge', the World Heritage Site at Salisbury =
Truly eerie, as in: 'How'd those giant slabs get there?'

eq2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Official Secrets Act =
Certificate of less chat.

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman." (Margaret Thatcher)
=
That's a fraud, Maggie. You show me that "a woman of action isn't keen on remarks"... with a damn saying.

eq2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman." (Margaret Thatcher)
=
Waning woman Thatcher,
Good as men of stature;
I finish a task --
My age? Don't ask!
Anyhow, I am mature.

eq2nd - David Bourke with:
"If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman." (Margaret Thatcher)
=
If you want moronic tosh, ask teenagers. If you want wisdom, then ask a great man...Mahatma Gandhi.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
LAWS OF PHYSICS FOR CATS
If physics even applies to any feline...

Law of Cat Inertia
A resting cat will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force such as the opening of any cat food tin, say, or he sees a mouse scurrying past nearby.

Law of Cat Motion
A smart cat will move in a straight line, unless there's a very good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a feline when heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All clothing attracts cat hairs in direct proportion to the degree of colour difference between the cat hairs and colouring of the fabric.

=

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate, hotfoot off, at a constant rate, till he is good and ready to stop.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its flat, smooth state if a cat is present.

The First Law of Energy Conservation
Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. The cat therefore, will use as little as possible himself.

The Second Law of Energy Conservation
A coping cat senses that maximum energy can be stored by a lot of napping of his own.

Law of Mass
A cat's mass increases faithfully in direct proportion to the cushiony comfort of the warm lap/warm chair which he occupies.

The Law of Cat Obedience
As yet undiscovered.

2nd - nedesto with:
The 80 year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns were gathered around the bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They tried to give her some warm milk but she refused it. One of them, Sister Savanna, took the glass back to the pantry.

Finding a bottle of Irish whiskey that they'd received as a gift the previous Christmas, Savanna opened it and poured a generous amount into the glass.

Back at the Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother had a little, then a bit more and before long she had drank the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother," they softly implored in earnest, "Can you please give us some of your wisdom before you go with God."

The Mother eased herself up in bed and with a look of sure piety said, "Don't sell that cow."

=

Not so long ago, Peter, an old German man was feeling guilty about something he had done, so he decided to confess.

"Oh, forgive my sins, Father. I feel rather terrible because during the war I hid a sorry refugee in the darkness of my attic." he pled.

The understanding padre spoke, "Oh, but that's no sin! Look, I wouldn't feel bad about that."

"But I made the poor man pay me 80 Marks for every week he stayed there."

The padre assured him, "So honestly, it wasn't the most noble thing to do, I suppose; charging to keep him secret. But remember you did help save his life, after all, and that's something at least. Don't worry over it so; Lord Jesus shows mercy."

Thrilled, Peter said, "Oh thank you, Father! That has totally eased my furrowed brow. So, one other thing to ask... do I have to tell him the war's over?"

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Paddy and his wife Jackie were discussing their sex life.

"Can we try dat wheelbarrow position tonight?" he said.

"What da hell's dat?" she asked.

"Well, ya bend over, with ya hands on da floor; then oi lift your legs, move in, and make love to ya from behind," replied Paddy.

"Um... oi guess so," she said, "but oi will only do it on two conditions:
One: If it hurts, ya stop straight away and: Two: Ya make sure we dont go past me mothers house!"

=

Paddy met his friend O'Toole in the street.

O'Toole said: "Paddy, oi wonder if oi could ask ya to draw da bedroom curtains before having passionate sex with your missis in future?"

"Huh? Why is dat?" Paddy asked.

"Because," replied O'Toole, "da whole street was roarin' with laughing when they saw ya both making love last night."

"Really, now?" sniffed Paddy, "Well, da joke is on them nosy dimwits, cos oi wasn't even home last night!"

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
A POEM FOR MARTIN RICHARD
by Angela Beegle

I see you there in your last moments,

Hanging excitedly over the fence

Watching for your daddy, mom and sisters at your side

People swarm and mill around you, unnoticed

But your attention is for only one man

Your young face glows with pride

What might you have been, if you had grown?

What contributions might the world have known?

A scientist, astronaut, fireman brave?

Who knows what lives you might have saved?

Its a haunting image, that one captured frame

The next shutter-click would show a different aim

A trajectory of metal, flung outward

A spiteful curse at the world by strangers

Who dropped their bags and walked away, smirking.

You werent the target. You just happened to be there,

Clinging to the fence, cheering at the finish line,

Best seat in the house, lucky kid!

To watch your daddy finish his race.

=

PEACE

Naked though in its tough resoluteness, oppressive with the chunks

Of a broken dream, why they, the detested two who

Meant to murder and maim

Ordinary humdrum lives on that trustworthy day;

Rubbing out that week of huge fortune, of customary grace, hence

Extinguishing a youthful flame.

Hurling heavy shrapnel into the air

Unflinching in its awkward bitterness and despair.

Ravaging to attack thoughts one day, they cut and defeat

The mighty barricades on Boylston Street.

Incisively affected, wanting to "B Strong,"

Now you wearily turn away to "So Long...

Goodbye, Martin William Richard."

Prejudice accommodates, chooses the worthy.

Every young hopeful watches the wideawake to now

Offer a murmur, a prayer whilst we

Patiently wait for dad Bill as you of eight

Leave behind mom Denise and sister Jane

Endure an excruciating lifelong pain.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
I AM THE WALRUS
By
John Lennon and Paul McCartney

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Mister city policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, I'm crying.
I'm crying, I'm crying.

Yellow mother custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, They are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob goo

=

I AM ALMIGHTY
By
Kim Jong-un (The Other Supreme Deity)

I am he, a deity, I'm almighty, yes I am Kim-Jong un,
See people cower at my great power, fall to their knees,
They'd die for me.

Flying on a high cloud, peering at the Earth below,
Great Supreme Commander of the People's Army,
Youngest person to become a Head of State,
I am the Great One, they are the weak ones,
I am almighty, go go g'Jong!

My sweet North Korea,
You'll be one mighty superpower!
People in the US, and the UK too, are busy running scared,
I'm Godlike, I'm mighty.
So rightly, so rightly.

We are going nuclear, there is nothing you can do,
You dogs in South Korea, are cringing in big fear,
Knowing you will soon succumb to our heroic men.
I am the Great One, you are the weak ones,
I am almighty, go go g'Jong!

Crouching in an English garden waiting for the bang!
When my rockets come you Brits will feel the scorching pain of acid rain;
I am the Great One, you are the weak ones,
I am almighty, go go, g'Jong, go go g'Jong!

Huge, X-factor chain reactors,
Bubbling nuclear poison underground,
See how they vie to rise into the sky,
Soon they will fly,
They'll fly.

People say I'm chubby, but they don't say it to my face,
I know I am sexy, any girl would let me
Share a night of passion, coupling in a hotel bed.
I am the Great One, they are the weak ones,
I am almighty, go go g'Jong, I'm so very strong, go g'Jong, I am an icon! go go g'Jong, yes, I wrote this song!
Go go g'Jong!

3rd - nedesto with:

1. Leg part
3. Grieves
6. Gorge
8. Key
12. Twice four
14. Ordinary seasoning
15. Ariel e.g.
16. Story
18. Roadster
19. Eternity
21. Ten gauges
23. Gradual
27. Shade
29. Talent
31. Alveolar malady
33. Hotel
34. At ___ door
35. Thin; minimise
36. Rested on a divan
38. This month's
40. Chill; ice
41. Showoff; ham
45. Booze
47. Seasickness
51. Era
52. Any female deer
53. Poppy pit?
56. Muddle
57. Sharon was a good one
59. Trusting
60. Fume; emanation
61. Lenity
62. Foul; revile; ruin
63. Beeper
=
1. Grope
2. Generator
3. Meteor
4. Stingy
5. Ocean
6. Staid
7. Bravado
9. Sully
10. Grant
11. Vile
13. Plus
17. Gentle
20. Languid; weary; holey
22. To turn to the right
24. Speechlessness
25. Foam
26. Proper
28. Leader
30. Animated
32. Agonizing
33. Void; banal
37. Fame
39. Traipse idly amok
42. A finale
43. A revolution
44. Some sword-like irises
46. Hefty tumefaction
48. Gathering
49. One fine sword
50. Dreary
51. He authored Crusoe
54. Male; he
55. Dismay
58. So intense

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Anagrammy Placegetters for April 2013

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY