Anagrammy Placegetters for February 2018
All the highly-placed anagrams from the February 2018 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Tom Myers with:
I often counsel friends: ~
Do not suffer in silence!
2nd - Adie Pena with:
So tired =
Do I rest?
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Emotional support =
Pals pour it onto me.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
The Fleetwood Mac singer Stephanie "Stevie" Nicks =
With perfect looks and image since the Seventies!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
Crappy times under ~
a Trump presidency.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Stoneman Douglas High School, Florida =
A smug hooligan shot loads of children.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Richard Gates =
Rat is charged.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Washington, District of Columbia =
A disturbing town of comical shit.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
America + Trump =
Immature crap!
3rd - Christopher Davis with:
National Rifle Association =
A fanatic loser in isolation.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Old Stages of Success:
1. Come up with an idea
2. Set sensible goals
3. Test the plans and work hard
4. Be patient
5. Earn a cool fortune
=
New Stages of Success
1. Be ignorant
2. Shout a lot
3. Appeal to the worst in us
4. Lie and call others "fake" and "sad"
5. Become president
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
The Past, the Present and the Future walked into this busy London bar
~
for a drink, but the upshot openly unsettled the bar hand...it was tense!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
“I was very naive sexually. My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary so I buggered off to Africa for 6 months.” Hayley Ellis
=
“I used to be grossly fixated on having my daily sea swims. Scary! Thankfully, I'm off it. I've been dry for 6 years or so.” Alfie Moore
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
"Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory." - President Abraham Lincoln =
All in all, matrimony is a nightmare. Thereupon, divorce rarely brings happiness either.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory." - President Abraham Lincoln
=
"Sorry, man - having to pretend this horribly mean pig is a true prince is real hell!" - Melania
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
"Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory." - President Abraham Lincoln
=
I had prime roles, elite plans, a shining career.
But it's Harry I'm planning to marry.
Love, eh?
THE LONG CATEGORY
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
> John Donne's Death Be Not Proud
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou'art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.
=
Tomes Kept By A Master Poet
He stocks the breadth of joy profound,
Those hallowed wealths of plot and ode,
Within the archives set around
That study at his old abode.
He'll note Wilde's potent novelty
Then ponder Blake's unstable tone,
Or sip one dash of morning tea
And, peaceful, read The Bard alone.
It's no surprise that such a soul
Would note the force behind most works;
The human touch preserved them whole
And touch does have some worthy perks.
And when our shy and standout man
Remembers folks whom he once knew,
No truth feels more compelling than
A latent truth which still holds true:
Most poets' charms stayed strong and pure;
Though they are dead, the wit endures.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
WEDDING DAY
By
The Bee Gees
We both acknowledge what we came here for
We take each other and walk through the open door
From the first time that I saw you
To the way you look tonight
I was shaken by your spirit
I was blinded by your light
And the world that I used to see is gone without a trace
Replaced by your eyes and the smile upon your face
And I will not turn away
'Cause you might disappear
I was haunted by your heart
And I felt that you were here
And funny when the time is right
When lightning strikes
You're not alone
Baby, I will pray for you my whole life through
This day
We'll be together
Husband and wife
Now and forever
The rest of our lives
Well, take me to Heaven
Take me tonight
There is nothing words can say
On this our wedding day
Oh, now is the hour, now is the sowing of the seed
I will take tomorrow
I will lay it at your feet
And the two of us escape from the sadness of the world
From the thunder and the darkness
From the hunger and the hurt
You know I will remember well the mission bell
That rings your name
And baby there could never be
A memory like you
We'll be together
Husband and wife
Now and forever
Lovers for life
Well, take me to Heaven
Take me tonight
There is nothing words can say
On this our wedding day
This is my pledge to you
I will follow through to the end
And we will find another plane
We'll be home again
And tonight I'm going to find true love, true love
We'll be together
Husband and wife
Now and forever
Lovers for life
Well, take me to Heaven
Take me tonight
There is nothing words can say
On this our wedding day
This our wedding day
=
WEDDING OF WOE
I was fine with 'promise to cherish'
And ok with 'death us do part',
It's what the vicar said after,
That made the fireworks start.
'You're man and wife, now you are one,'
Like we were some, well, mutation!
But, no, I'm me and Wendy's her
That's the sum situation!
Wendy saw my bulldog frown,
And shot me a full-on glare,
When I was about to protest,
Her eyes warned don't you dare!
'Rev,' I whispered, 'what do you mean?'
'Er... pardon?' he whispered back.
'What do you mean 'now we are one'?'
I grunted, on the attack.
'United in the eyes of God,
Now you're one,' he sighed.
'No! Wen is one, and I am one,
Then that makes two,' I replied.
'Button it!' growled Wendy, frowning,
'No,' I growled back, 'it's daft!
For if we both are really one
Then each of us must be half!'
'Button it!' said a rough, low voice,
(Had Wendy gone baritone?)
No, 'twas her thug father, Reg
With one fist under my nose.
'Do you know what this wedding cost me?'
He growled in a bullying way,
'Yep!' I yelled (though I felt none too brave!)
'Hell, you tell me every day!'
Then, in this flow of bullish talk,
I blurted, 'Reg, time to tell...
I've been having it off for a year now,
With your wife, my ma-in-law, Nell.'
'Huh?' croaked Wendy. 'Huh?' croaked Reg,
'He's telling the truth!' yelled Nell.
'Ok,' sighed Reg, 'to tell the truth,
'I'm having it off as well.
'With Nell's twin sister Holly Gough,
It's been going on for years!'
Then Wendy turned to look at me,
Her blue eyes full of tears...
'Sorry, hon, I'm doing it too,
With your best man, Greg Kildare!'
Everybody gasped with shock,
To hear all these truths laid bare.
'Oh, hell,' I wryly shook my head,
'So, everyone here is tainted,
Bar the Rev and our pageboy Hugh.'
And that's when the vicar fainted...
3rd - Adie Pena with:
VALENTINE
by
Carol Ann Duffy
Not a red rose or a satin heart.
I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.
Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.
I am trying to be truthful.
Not a cute card or a kissogram.
I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.
Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.
=
BALLANTINE'S
Finest
Blended Scotch Whisky.
I long to visit your regular pub, George.
I like to sip your poison now.
Soft.
Sweet.
I sense a provision of proof,
in pursuit of selected malt
and grain whiskies
aged for many years in casks.
Light gold colour,
unmistakable taste.
I feel your beautiful body in my mouth.
With interweaving tones
of rich milk chocolate,
red apple, vanilla.
I lust for an initial after-taste.
Elegant kind,
Lingering with a floral glow.
No rival,
I prefer savoring your spirit.
I like you on the rocks or neat.
I saw your Royal Warrant.
I often win in life.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
'Doing It Doggy Style On The Table'
A Dylan Thomas poem.
=
Do not go gentle, simply say,
"Go behind, that dame to lay."
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Her vagina's to entice me =
This gave me an erection.
3rd - David Bourke with:
The Tourette Syndrome Association of Australia =
I see a trait of most around here is to say "cunt" a lot!
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