Anagrammy Placegetters for March 2020

All the highly-placed anagrams from the March 2020 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sort of people I rather hated? =
The hoarders of toilet paper.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Social distancing =
Clan dissociating.

3rd - Tom Myers with:
The dead live on in our hearts. =
Indeed, several that I honour.

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
William Shakespeare's tragedy Macbeth =
Witches sadly make him stab a regal peer.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Saturday Night Live =
Virus delaying that!

3rd - View with:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier =
Cinema's patriotic leader in the war.

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Trump incredibly tests negative for Coronavirus ~
but very positive for "Racist Mongrel" and "US Cretin".

2nd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Coronavirus ~
arrives on touch.

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine =
On hand to encode clinical epidemiology for the NHS

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
American presidents Obama and Trump =
Smarter upbeat person and dim maniac.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
White House Director of Social Media Dan Scavino =
I am an old odious Tweeter-in-Chief's advisor/coach.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Oscar-Claude Monet, the Impressionist =
Outside scenes (plein air) to charm most.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
A General Practitioner =
Regional patient carer.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
National Health Service of England =
Have challenges on aid at front-line.

3rd - John Murray with:
Covid Nineteen ‡
Not in evidence.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
We, the stupid public must learn to shop a little more responsibly=
We're told to panic-buy less premium toilet rolls, but shit happens!

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
How you and I outguess coronavirus in such a fight each day
=
Wash your hands
Cough in a tissue
Avoid touching your face

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
"Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion"
=
Expect Daniel Craig's role of energetic rescuer to return in next violent movie.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion"
=
An even eviler force exerting its ego? "Toxic Ruler and Utter Moronic Pestilence".

3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
"Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion."
=
A resourceful, exploitative, extreme, egocentric terror ending innocent lives.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Best Things To Binge If You're Quarantined

1. "Friends"
2. Adventure books
3. Meditation tapes
4. Ambient music and theme songs
5. Board games
6. Feel-good trash on the Hallmark Channel
7. "It's A Wonderful Life"

=

Some Stuff NOT To Binge In Quarantine

1. "The Walking Dead"
2. "I Am Legend", "Cabin Fever" and "Outbreak"
3. Morbid songs by "The Doors"
4. "The Last Man on Earth"
5. "The Stand" miniseries
6. Camus' "The Plague"
7. "Lord of the Flies"

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Miss Beatrice Adams, the church organist, was eighty years old and had never been married. Everybody liked her for her sweet demeanour and her endearing innocence.

One Wednesday afternoon, the pastor came to call on her. She showed him into her modest living room and invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea and some home-made scones.

As he sat there looking at her old, upright Hammond organ, the young minister suddenly noticed an ordinary glass bowl on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water there floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with the tea and scones, they began chatting. The young pastor tried hard to suppress his maddening curiosity about the bowl of water and its peculiar floater, but it finally got the better of him and he couldn't resist any longer.

By the way, Miss Beatrice; I wonder if you would kindly tell me about this?' he said, gesturing to the mysterious glass bowl.

'Oh, yes, it's wonderful!' she replied. 'You see, I was walking by the park a few months ago and I found this small packet lying on the ground. The directions inside said to just place it on the organ and keep it moist and it would prevent the spread of diseases.

"And do you know what? I haven't had a trace of flu all winter!'

=

I was a happy man! My gorgeous girlfriend Stella and I had been together for a year, and we had decided to get married.

Only one thing bothered me though... her beautiful younger sister: 'Shona the Enchantress'.

Shona was nineteen, wore tight miniskirts, and generally went braless. She would blatantly bend down when near me, and I'd get an eye-popping view. It had to be deliberate, because she didn't do it with other people.

One day, Shona called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations with her.

She was alone when I arrived, and she confessed to having the hots for me. She said that she wanted me just once before I married her sister.

I was in total shock, I couldn't think of a darn thing to say!

'I'm going to my bedroom,' she said. 'If you want one last wild fling, come up and get me.'

I stood, watching her move sinuously up the stairs, then I turned, bolted for the door, opened it and ran straight to my car.

Lo and behold, all my future in-laws were standing outside... clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my prospective father-in-law said, 'Hi, fellah! We're so thrilled that you passed our little test! We could not ask for a better husband for our daughter. Thanks, and welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story?

Always keep your condoms in your car.

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Signs you may be a victim of gaslighting:
1. Second guessing
2. Too sensitive
3. Feeling confused
4. Constantly apologizing
5. Why unhappy?
6. Excuses for abuse
7. Feeling helpless
8. Not good enough
9. Less than
10. Withholding information
=
1. Nagging doubts
2. Shy, highly self-conscious
3. Foggy, at a loss
4. Imagining guilt
5. Odd sense
6. Defensive of spouse in a fight
7. Spineless, can't mobilize
8. Valueless, unnoteworthy
9. No hope, can't go on
10. Unforthcoming (Gee, why explain it?)

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Be wise as thou art cruel; do not press
My tongue-tied patience with too much disdain;
Lest sorrow lend me words and words express
The manner of my pity-wanting pain.
If I might teach thee wit, better it were,
Though not to love, yet, love, to tell me so;
As testy sick men, when their deaths be near,
No news but health from their physicians know;
For if I should despair, I should grow mad,
And in my madness might speak ill of thee:
Now this ill-wresting world is grown so bad,
Mad slanderers by mad ears believed be,
That I may not be so, nor thou belied,
Bear thine eyes straight, though thy proud heart go wide.

=

Why I Think That We Might Really Be The Toxin

This hefty epidemic we behold
Has shown me we don't try to bloody grow;
Each promise made to halt this, truth be told,
Could've been said then kept one month ago.
Our gangs now raid the shops, consumed with stress,
Rebuffing the idea of unity;
Once-tiny trepidations we suppress
Now grow, debilitating sanity.
And while philanderers who we made kings
Vow to assist amid our frightened cries,
I'm less than avid to trust anything -
Remember best laid "plans" are sometimes lies.
Unless we try to be mature for real,
Some horrid day there'd be no world to heal.

2nd - David Bourke with:
A flock/rookery/gam of albatrosses
A congregation of alligators
A herd of alpacas
A shrewdness/troop of apes
A herd/cluster/tribe of antelopes
An army/colony/bike/nest/swarm of ants
A pace/herd/coffle/drove of asses
A colony/flock/raft of auks
A troop/flange/congress of baboons
A culture of bacteria
A cete/colony/set/company of badgers
A battery of barracudas
A colony/cloud/flock of bats
A shoal of bass
A sloth/sleuth of bears
A colony of beavers
A swarm/grist/hive/erst/rabble/nest of bees
A flock/wreck of birds
A herd of bisons
A sedge/seige of bitterns
A sute of bloodhounds
A herd/sounder of boar
A chain of bobolinks
A herd/troop/gang/obstinancy of buffalos
A bellowing of bullfinches
A drove of bullocks
A flight/flutter/rabble/swarm of butterflies
A wake of buzzards
A caravan/train/flock/herd of camels
A mews of capons
A herd of caribous
An army of caterpillars
A clowder/clutter/pounce/dout/nuisance/glorying/glare/destruction of cats
A drove/herd/team of cattle
A herd of chamois
A coalition of cheetahs
A clutch/chattering of chicks
A flock/brood/peep of chickens
A troop/tribe of chimpanzees
A colony of chinchillas
A scurry of chipmunks
A chattering/clattering of choughs
A bed of clams
A troop of coatis
A quiver of cobras
An intrusion of cockroaches
A lap/school of cod
A covert/raft of coots
A gulp/flight of cormorants
A herd/kine/flink of cows
A band/pack of coyotes
A cast of crabs
A herd/sedge/seige of cranes
A bask/float/congregation of crocodiles
A murder/horde/parcel/storytelling of crows
A herd of curlews
A herd/leash/gang/bevy/brace/clash/bunch/mob/rangale of deer
A cry/mute/pack of dogs
A troop of dogfish
A school/pod/herd/team of dolphins
A drove/pace/herd of donkeys
A trip of dotterels
An arc/dole/dule/bevy/cote/dole/flight/paddling/pitying/piteousness of doves
A cluster/flight/swarm of dragonflies
A brace/badling/flock/herd/raft/team/paddling/safe/sord/sore/skein/string/waddling of ducks
A herd of dugongs
A fling of dunlins
A convocation/aerie of eagles
A swarm/bed/fry of eels
A herd of elands
A herd/memory of elephants
A herd/pack of elephant seals
A gang/herd of elks
A mob of emus
A cast of falcons
A business/cast/fesnying of ferrets
A charm of finches
A draft/nest/shoal/school of fishes
A stand/flamboyance of flamingoes
A business/swarm/cloud of flies
An army/colony/knot of frogs
An earth/leash/skulk/lead/troop of foxes
A herd of gaurs
A herd of gazelles
A flock/skein/gaggle/herd/corps/plump/team/wedge/chevron of geese
A horde of gerbils
A herd/corps/tower of giraffes
A cloud/horde/rabble/swarm of gnats
An implausibility/herd of gnus
A tribe/trip/drove/herd/flock of goats
A charm of goldfinches
A glint/troubling of goldfish
A dopping of goosanders
A band/troop/whoop of gorillas
A flight of goshawks
A cloud/swarm of grasshoppers
A leash of greyhounds
A pack/covey of grouse
A herd of guanacos
A bazaar of guillemots
A colony/screech of gulls
A confusion/rasp/flock of guinea fowl
A herd of guinea pigs
A colony/flock of gulls
A horde of hamsters
A band/down/drove/flick/husk of hares
A cast/aerie/staff/leash/flight/flock/kettle/boil/cauldron of hawks
An array of hedgehogs
A flight/sedge/siege/hedge of herons
An army/glean/shoal of herrings
A sea/herd/thunder/bloat of hippopotamuses
A drift/drove of hogs
A nest/bike/swarm of hornets
A team/harras/stable/troop/stud/
rag/rake/string/band/field/herd of horses
A group/family/band/crowd/clan/tribe of humans
A charm of hummingbirds
A cackle/clan of hyenas
A herd of ibexes
A herd of impalas
A horde/nest/swarm/rabble/plague of insects
A pack of jackals
A prowl/leap of jaguars
A party/scold/band of jays
A smack/brood/bloom/fluther/smuth of jellyfish
A court/troop/mob/herd of kangaroos
A troop/convergance of kinjajous
A kindle/litter/intrigue of kittens
A herd of koupreys
A herd of kudus
A deceit/desert of lapwings
An exaltation/ascension of larks
A conspiracy of lemurs
A leap of leopards
A flock of lice
A pride/sault/sawt/troop of lions
A lounge of lizards
A herd/flock of llamas
A risk of lobsters
A plague/cloud/swarm/host of locusts
A colony of lorises
A colony of lice
A tiding/gulp/murder/charm/flock of magpies
A brace/sord of mallards
A herd/pack of mammoths
A herd of manatees
A horde of mandrills
A richness of martens
A conspiracy of meerkats
A colony/nest/mischief of mice
A bite of midges
A shoal/steam/swarm of minnows
A labour/company/movement of moles
A troop/committee/delegation of mongooses
A troop/barrel/carload/cartload/tribe of monkeys
A herd of moose
A scourge/swarm/cloud of mosquitoes
A fleet of mudhens
A pack/span/barren/rake of mules
A watch of nightingales
A consortium of octopuses
A herd of okapis
A passel of opossums
A family/troop/band of orangutans
A herd of oryxes
A flock/troop of ostriches
A romp/bevy/family/raft of otters
A parliament/stare of owls
A team/yoke/drove of oxen
A bed of oysters
A sleuth/embarrassment of pandas
A company/pandemonium/flock of parrots
A covey/bew of partridges
A muster/ostentation/pride of peacocks
A pomp of Pekingese
A pod of pelicans
A colony/waddle/raft/rookery/huddle/tuxedo of penguins
A nest/nye/nide/bouquet/flock of pheasants
A flight/flock/kit of pigeons
A drift/drove/sounder/team/passel/drift/parcel/farrow of pigs
A shoal of pilchards
A congregation/wing of plovers
An aurora/celebration/pack of polar bears
A chine of polecats
A prickle of porcupines
A herd/pod/school/crowd/shoal of porpoises
A coterie/town of prairie dogs
A covey of ptarmigans
A grumble of pugs
A bevy/covey of quails
A flock of queleas
A flock of quetzals
A colony/warren/bury/trace/trip/herd/husk/wrack of rabbits
A gaze/nursery/committee/smack/brace/troop of raccoons
A flock of rams
A colony/pack/plague/swarm/horde/mischief of rats
A rhumba of rattlesnakes
An unkindness/storytelling of ravens
A herd of reindeer
A herd/crash/stubbornness of rhinoceroses
A bevy of roebucks
A building/clamor/parliament of rooks
A hill of ruffs
A congress/maelstrom of salamanders
A run of salmon
A fling of sandpipers
A family of sardines
A bed/nest of scorpions
A wreck of seabirds
A shoal of seahorses
A pod/bob/harem/herd/rookery/plump/spring of seals
A shiver/school/shoal of sharks
A drove/flock/down/hurtle/fold/pack/trip of sheep
A doading of sheldrakes
A colony/drove of shrews
A surfeit of skunks
An exultation of skylarks
An escargatoire/rout/walk of snails
A den/nest/pit/bed/knotball/slither of snakes
A walk/wisp of snipes
A host of sparrows
A cluster/clutter of spiders
A herd of springboks
A shoal of squids
A dray/scurry of squirrels
A murmuration/chattering of starlings
A fever of stingrays
A pack/trip of stoats
A mustering/muster of storks
A flight/gulp of swallows
A bevy/bank/flock/herd/lamentation/wedge/flight of swans
A flocks of swifts
A herd of tapirs
A spring of teals
A colony/nest/swarm/brood of termites
A mutation of thrushes
A streak/ambush of tigers
A knot/knab/nest of toads
A hover of trout
A rafter/gang/posse of turkeys
A bale/nest/turn/dole of turtles
A pitying/dule of turtle doves
A posse/herd of vicunas
A generation/nest of vipers
A venue/kettle of vultures
A mob of wallabies
A herd/pod of walruses
A nest/swarm/hive/colony of wasps
A knob/plump of waterfowl
A gang/colony/pack/sneak of weasels
A pod/gam/herd/school/mod of whales
A company of widgeons
A plump of wildfowl
A descension of woodpeckers
A pack/route/rout of wolves
A pack of wolverines
A wisdom of wombats
A fall of woodcocks
A descent of woodpeckers
A bed/clew/bunch/clat of worms
A herd of yaks
A zeal/crossing/dazzle/cohorts/herd of zebras

=

An addenda of accountants
A handspring of acrobats
A mwaah-mwaah of actors
A bevy/draft/vatful/hangover/vomitory of alcoholics
A stump of amputees
A wordyhood/Wetherspoonful of anagrammatists
A proliferation of anti-abortionists
A lot of auctioneers
A bushwhack of Australians
A lucky escape of bachelors
A meddle/irrelevance of backbenchers
A hitch of backpackers
A crumble of bakers
An overdraft/fraud/wad/wedge of bankers
A head/trim of barbers
A bucketful of basketball players
A foundation of beauticians
An ironing of blacksmiths
A shuffle/rhapsody of bluesmen
A cresta of bobsledders
A mass of bodybuilders
A foyle of booksellers
A brown-nosing of bootlickers
A whack/knuckle/brawl of boxers
A woggle of boy scouts
A depilation of Brazilians
A farrago/gammonhood of Brexiteers
A course of bricklayers
A bodhi of Buddhists
An obfuscation/meddle/monotony of bureaucrats
A calaboose of burglars
A meating of butchers
A cadence/humpback of campanologists
An apology of Canadians
A pit/wrench of car mechanics
A doodle/scrawl of caricaturists
A splinter of carpenters
An ordnance of cartographers
A schnorkel of cavers/spelunkers
A cessation of celibates
A scrape of cello players
A check of chess players
A manipulation of chiropractors
A chasse of choreographers
An order of chronologers
A godsend/hallow of churchgoers
A congratulation of Cliff Richard fans
A drollness/chuckle/tomfoolery of clowns
A load of cobblers
A bowbell of cockneys
A cypher of codebreakers
A quisling of collaborators
A gaggle of comics
A program/webbing of computer nerds
A deck of conductors (bus)
A batoning of conductors (orchestral)
A chock of confectioners
A pretzel/corkscrew of contortionists
A broth/stew/stock of cooks
A howdy of cowboys
A grand ordure/crock of coprologists
A staff of crooks
A velour/raleigh of cyclists
A book of Czechs
A sway/dervish of dancers
A gratefulness of Deadheads
An amalgam of dentists
A wallow/doldrum of depressives
A rotunda/hodgepodge/scoff of dieters
An immunity of diplomats
A smarm of DJs
A pontoon of dockers
A surgery of doctors
A style of doggers
A leash of dog-handlers
A boardwalk of drifters
A smack/concealment of drug traffickers
A rollcall/flam of drummers
A dram/piddle of drunkards
A daisychain of dukes
A shrift/shortage of dwarves
A plane/delusion of flat-Earthers
A connection/revolt/shock of electricians
A ballpark of estimators
A tract of farmers
A growth/bloom/verdancy of florists
A faalaalaa of folk singers
A government of fools
A grandstand/befoulment/lobotomy of footballers
A body/undertaking of funeral directors
An embezzlement/knock of fraudsters
A shake of freemasons
An escargot of French
A wager of gamblers
A homology/stonewall/manhood/garland of gays
A drawback/rollback of gentiles
A rockery of geologists
An oompah of Germans
A net of goalkeepers
A gyration of gogo dancers
A link/caddy of golfers
A gloom/blackout of goths
A degree/ology of graduates
A spray of graffiti artists
An apostrophecation of grammar pedants
A dig/body of graverobbers
A tragedy of Greeks
A strum/pluck/noodle/chord/twang of guitar players
A crotch/stretch/muffling of gynaecologists
A diyarchy of handymen
A footnote of has-beens
A volume of headbangers
A backpack/schlepp/thumb of hitchhikers
A threshold/thrall/cooing/canoodle/cuddle/hickey/hitch/lovage of honeymooners
A foppery/hyphen/yahoo of hooray henrys
A whipround/gallop of horsemen
A delhuge of Indians
An excess of insurance clerks
A scudding of Iraqis
A paddywhack/mix of Irishmen
A dewdrop of Israeli parachutists
A bootful of Italians
A sothood of jocks
A gavel of judges
A blight/blancmange/scrag/plague/klunge/kommando/kackling/krapload of Kardashians
A pilfer of kleptomaniacs
A knighthood of noblemen
A whey of Kurds
A portfolio of landlords
A congalomerate of Latin Americans
A loophole of lawyers
A nomenclature of lesbians
A hatchet of libelists
A hush of librarians
A bedazzlement of lighthouse keepers
A calypso/showdown of limbo dancers
A barrel of locksmiths
A buffer of locomotive drivers
A flush/commode of loo attendants
A doddering/addle/shamble/muddle/fuddle/decrepitude/buffoonery of Lords
A lessening of loss adjusters
A fluke of lottery winners
A deforest of lumberjacks
A bellow of market traders
A knowhow of MENSA members
A wave of Mexicans
A cut of middlemen
A shovelful of miners
A scoot/parka of mods
A runway of models
A straddle/scramble of motorcyclists
A cargo/hatchback of motorists
A falsehood/fiddle/diddle/twaddle/effluvium of MPs
A streak/buff of nudists
A convention of nuns
A carry-on of nurses
A sopiferousness of oneirologists
A window of opportunists
A spectacular of opticians
A glassful of optimists
A retinue of optometrists
A bellow of orators
A foundling of orphans
A cleavage/rack of Page Three models
A scribble of paleographers
An eyeful of Parisians
A nose of parsons
A hock of pawnbrokers
A spyhole/voyeurhood of peeping toms
A fondle of perverts
A stampede of philatelists
A plateau of philosophers
A smudge/aperture of photographers
A dip of pickpockets
A flight of pilots
A macophony of pipers
A skulduggery/swashbuckle/gangplank/shipwreck/hook/doubloon of pirates
A coat of plasterers
A puddle/flood/shower of plumbers
A prosody of poets
A flush of poker players
A plodding/gavvering/confederate of police
A depilation of pornstars
A round of postmen
A wheel of potters
A chuff of proctologists
A check of proofreaders
A shrinkage/screwball of psychiatrists
A shower of psychopaths
A quiver of quakers
A puzzlement of quizmasters
A mofohood of rappers
A dread/root of Rastas
A scrummage/tackle/muddle/brawl of rugby players
A flagellation/backlash/handcuffing of sado-masochists
A deck of sailors
A stage of scaffolders
A pair of a schizophrenic
A snigger of schoolboys
A drop of Scotch
A chiselling of sculptors
A shorthand of secretaries
A hand/handkerchief of self-abusers
A backdrop of set designers
A bingo of Scrabble players
A neame of shepherds
A counter/stockroom of shopkeepers
A track of skiers
A somnambulance of sleepwalkers
A hide of smugglers
A pocket of snooker players
A sob of snowflakes
A swindle of solicitors
A coloratura of sopranos
A mandela/klipspring/veldt of South Africans
A snoop of spies
A lodge of squatters
A tack of stablehands
A spire of steeplejacks
A share of stockbrokers
A college/entitlement of students
A hatching of submariners
A wave of surfers
A smorgasbord/volvule of Swedes
A splash/poolful of swimmers
A cabal of taxi drivers
A quiff/pomade of teddy boys
A glower/scowl/smirk/huff/shrug/strop/sulk/tantrum/whinge/whatever of teenagers
A lob of tennis players
A drawl of Texans
A congress of thieves
A string of tightrope walkers
A grid of topographers
A meter of traffic wardens
A fecklessness/panhandle/honk/hobohood of tramps
A stobart/dentressangle/convoy of truckers
A flatulence of trumpeters
A breakthrough of tunnellers
A delight of Turks
A clack/pool of typists
An orangery of Ulstermen
A stuffing of upholsterers
A sprinkle of urophiles
A curdle of vampires
A geergottle of ventriloquists
A frock of vicars
A screech/discord of violin players
A hymenage/maidenhood/sacrifice of virgins
A cloud of weather forecasters
A manoeuvre of weightlifters
An arc of welders
A cleek/sheepishness of Welshmen
A powdering of whigs
A bawd of whores
A ring/embranglement of wrestlers
A wurzelling of yokels
A flush of youths

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
IT'S HARRY I'M PLANNING TO MARRY
(Song from the movie 'Calamity Jane')

When you turn to the subject of Harry
That's a horse from a different safari.
He can box like a fox, he's as dumb as an ox
But it's Harry I'm planning to marry

(Yes, it's Harry she's planning to marry)

My heart's twined around his suspenders
He's the one that I truly adore
I'm numb, I succumb when he renders
The face on the bar room floor

When he flexes his muscles, I flutter
Like a butterfly caught in a shutter
When he calls me his mate
I just disintegrate
Since the world first began (Since the world first began)
Never been such a man (Never been such a man)
Who could love like he can
So it's Harry I'm planning to marry!

=

HARRY CHOSE MEGHAN TO MARRY.
A stern public announcement by Her Majesty

One's reluctant to say it, but Harry's
Just not been himself since he married,
Now he's naffed orf abroad, in a snub to us all,
Because Harry chose Meghan to marry.

(Harry chose Meghan to marry)

He's entwined round her velvet finger,

A servant to her constant whims,
But scared to offend, 'cos he's ginger,
And she is more wilful than him.

When she flutters her lashes he crumbles,
Now his mixed-up head's frankly a jumble,
It's a painful affair,
Such a vexatious pair,
They're intent on Megxit (so intent on Megxit)
But will Harry like it? (but will he like it?)
A 'Mr non-prince' misfit?
It's sad Harry chose Meghan to marry.

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Explaining what first, second and third base are =
"French", "I grab her tit" and "wild and passionate sex".

2nd - View with:
The smelly fart =
He smartly left.

3rd - David Bourke with:
Toilet paper sold out =
A little poo stored-up!