Anagrammy Placegetters for October 2020

All the highly-placed anagrams from the October 2020 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:

When I am in the throes of my despair, ~
a tiny shred of hope remains with me.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
Only a matter of time. =
I note my mortal fate.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
Loved on earth, foliage ended up as ~
a pile of dead leaves on the ground.

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
After the Beatles songs, I'll heartily admit: ~
This really is the greatest band of all time.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
"Go ahead punk, make my day." - Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) =
"Hi, rat. Okay, is my gun loaded? Empty? Whaddya reckon, rat?"

3rd - Murray Cameron with:
The Pussycat Dolls =
Hotly sculpted ass!

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

Eq1st - David Bourke with:
A further four years of President Donald Trump =
Dystopian future from rather dreadful person.

Eq1st - Adie Pena with:
A "No Mask, No Entry" sign =
Annoying most Karens.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Reasons to re-elect the insane Donald Trump:

1. .................Beats me. :/
=
Reasons to elect Biden as leader:

1. The name's not Trump.

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
The late guitarist Edward Van Halen =
He had unrivaled talent...it was great.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Late Thespian Sir Thomas Sean Connery =
One manly action star 'reshts in peashe'. :(

3rd - View with:
An English actor Sir Patrick Stewart =
Also captain in Star Trek's crew, right?

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Paul Lusch with:
National Forest Foundation =
No end to flora infatuations.

2nd - Murray Cameron with:
Starship Enterprise =
i.e. Shatner's trippers

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Sixteen Hundred Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC =
Now ten have exchanged unplanned nasty virus inside.

2nd - David Bourke with:
Manchester United and England football player Marcus Rashford
=
Battled for funds so hard-up children can rely on meals. A great man!

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
We rehash the treats of last season:
* Bit-o-Honey
* M&Ms
* Rolo
* Skittles
* Dots
* Plastic Pez
* Fireballs
(No aspartame, ugh! Ha-ha-ha-ha)
=
Healthiest treats for this year's Halloween bag:
* Small soaps
* Hand sanitizer
* Face mask
* Toothbrush & paste
* Hotel shampoo

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness.=
But the most gloomy misfortune of all was seeing the unleashing of the monstrous Covid-nineteen horror-show upon the planet. At just a stroke, that grim event swept the real happiness away - for good.

3rd - Adie Pena with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
That's me -- a poor, shapeless, three-foot-short nothing -- just one unfortunate, often so miserable dwarf. Until I met that kind person, Snow White, taught me everything so gorgeous as love. Call me 'Happy' now.

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Effects of Coronavirus on Britain's Businesses.

A manufacturer of food blenders has today gone into liquidation.

An origami book company has folded.

A company of aerial installers has called in the receivers.

Key companies have gone into lockdown.

A parachute-making company has been granted a Government bailout package.

The Financial Regulator has ordered British Airways to ex-plane themselves.

A watchsmith has wound down his business and called time.

Novelists in isolation have lost the plot.

The Heinz factory has been canned as they could not ketchup with their orders.

A dog kennels has had to call in the retrievers.

Many dominatrixes have lost business because their male clients are strapped for cash.
~
An Iceland store has had its assets frozen forthwith.

A shoe factory has been soled and all employees given the boot.

The local bra shops have gone bust.

A tarmac company has reached the end of the road.

Water companies are illiquid.

Libraries can't balance their books.

Clinics have lost patience.

A nudist camp has had its assets stripped.

Virgin has lost its Maidenhead office.

Bakers have run out of dough.

Laundrettes have been taken to the cleaners.

Oxo has run out of stock.

Waxing is on the wane.

The RAC Recovery Service is en route to a breakdown.

More annihilation - Anglo Pacific Mining Company has collapsed and gone under.

Our no-heart system is unlawfully milking dairies dry.

And finally: the BLM movement is on its knees.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The 10 Things You Simply Won't Hear Anymore

10. "Turn MTV on, there's a cool new video out!"
9. "Turn the radio on, there's a cool new song out!"
8. "Could you please get off the damn line already? I want to surf the web!"
7. "I did try calling you, but I guess you weren't home."
6. "Bummer, I think we drove the wrong way - let's pull over and get a map out."
5. "I'm in the mood for a proper drama, so let's stop at Blockbuster."
4. "Can't wait to see Harvey Weinstein's next project - I bet it'll be amazing!"
3. "There's such a lovely breeze outside - the weather seems to be nicer and nicer every year!"
2. "Big deal - so it's a new kind of flu, so what? It's the 21st century!"

=

1. "I'm sorry. I regret the things that I've done to you and to our wonderful country. I see now that I've gone wrong, that I became some irredeemable tyrant through threats and extortion, using my power and people's deep trust (for 4 messy years) strictly to benefit me and those around me.
I will of course resign at the end of the speech, would welcome any punitive action against me, and vow to pay back the $68B I embezzled.
I know that you won't buy a word I say now, but here's the actual truth: you should never be narcissistic like me, it'll be useless... Just love one another - after all, we're all we've got." (11.3.2020, 9:57 PM)

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Favorite Halloween yard decorations/costumes last year:
* Ghost
* Black cat
* Witch
* Goblin
* Skeleton/skull
* Gravestone
* Ugly spider web
* Carved pumpkin
=
Halloween decor/disguise for twenty-twenty:
* Coronavirus
* Bats
* Pill
* Candy chute
* Plastic bags/gloves
* KKK cape/mask
* Murder hornets
* A volatile globe

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
October by H.H. Jackson

The month of carnival of all the year,
When Nature lets the wild earth go its way,
And spend whole seasons on a single day.
The spring-time holds her white and purple dear;
October, lavish, flaunts them far and near;
The summer charily her reds doth lay
Like jewels on her costliest array;
October, scornful, burns them on a bier.
The winter hoards his pearls of frost in sign
Of kingdom: whiter pearls than winter knew,
Oar empress wore, in Egypt's ancient line,
October, feasting 'neath her dome of blue,
Drinks at a single draught, slow filtered through
Sunshiny air, as in a tingling wine!

=

Feelings in general and (frankly long) guarantees of Joseph R. Biden's opponent:
"
I shall make sure our honored laws are dust - Though to be frank, they're nearly now a bust; My brain's bent when I listen to a peer, Then pan the proof and helpful words I hear; In my eyes, losing is the worst thing ever, While dealing fresher damage - my endeavor; I shan't eject harsh statues of sheer racists; I'll gladly go to war with tanks (let's face it); I charred (and rather well) renowned commissions; With staffs, I only relish their audition. He trims each horrid trick to snatch the crown - But no abhorrent cop shall bring me down!"

[This particular acrostic was picked because, if the two opponents are switched in the anagram, the 2nd candidate's new and more positive platform emerges...]

Feelings in general and (frankly long) guarantees of Donald J. Trump's opponent:
"
I shall make sure our honored laws are just - Though to be frank, they're nearly now a bust; My brain's best when I listen to a peer, Then pen the proof and helpful words I hear; In my eyes, posing is the worst thing ever, While healing fresher damage - my endeavor; I shan't erect harsh statues of sheer racists; I'll gladly go to war with banks (let's face it); I chaired (and rather well) renowned commissions; With staffs, I only relish their addition. He tries each horrid trick to snatch the crown - But no abhorrent con shall bring me down!"

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
MAMMA MIA
The hit single by Abba

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam that door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
Mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go
=

I LOVE WWW.ANAGRAMMY.COM
(My Union With A Joyous Domain)

I've been doin' this 'gram since I don't know when,
Now it seems to me it's doomed never to end,
Too many vowels, too few consonants,
I don't know how, but the balance is way too wrong
Why'd I choose this unruly song?

It goes on, through all eternity,
On and on (sod it, now I need a wee),
Wee-wee-wee.

Anagrammy, hey you, I'm back again,
I've been wide awake since daybreak,
Doin' the bloody 'gram again,
My my, I have got a headache,
I'd like to kick the habit,
But, like a horny rabbit,
I'm just at it all the time,
Mamma mia, you've got a hold on me,
My my, I would never let you go.

Today the blonde from upstairs rang on my doorbell,
She smiled, "Beneath my robe I am naked as hell,
"Some yummy wine, I have here with me,
"May I come in? You can pop my cork with me!"
I said, "Uh? Don't you be silly!"
"Just one 'U'!" I stamped my feet and I cursed,
"One dumb 'U' and I'd have done the whole verse - just go-o-o!"

Anagrammy, it's my only love,
Yum, yum, I just can't ignore it,
Mamma mia, we go hand in glove,
Yum yum, how much I adore it,
My, it's a fickle lover,
Teases me like no other,
Why why, can't I ever let it go?
I am sleepy, I'm very nearly through,
One verse, then to bed I must go,
Anagrammy, bye bye I'm leavin' you,
But I will be back tomorrow...

Anagrammy, hey it's me again,
My my, oh how much I've missed you,
Anagrammy, bed got in the way,
If you were a dame I'd kiss you!
Ooh, you are where my heart is,
Ooh, you are where my art is,
Mamma mia, you have really lent me a hand,
Wowee! Now I've done my anagram!

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Autumn
by Joan Mitchell (age ten)

The rusty leaves crunch and crackle,
Blue haze hangs from the dimmed sky,
The fields are matted with sun-tanned stalks—
Wind rushes by.

The last red berries hang from the thorn-tree,
The last red leaves fall to the ground.
Bleakness, through the trees and bushes,
Comes without sound.
=
Southwestern Autumn

High hills and valleys are ablaze,
Stenchy black smoke clogs the night air;
The underbrush just seems too dry,
Left untended there.

Harsh August sun was hardly tolerable;
Thermometers check on the desert heat.
Hundreds of men with buckets in hand battle strong flames,
Never admit defeat.

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Murray Cameron with:
Some nasty dog shite ~
got my shoes stained.

2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
She has ample breasts =
A bra helps the masses.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
This old farmer's penis ~
slid far into Mrs. Sheep.