Anagrammy Placegetters for October 2008

All the highly-placed anagrams from the October 2008 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
Water Lilies ('Nympheas') by Claude-Oscar Monet =
I create many atmospheric blues, and yellows.

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Raphael, "Deposition from the Cross" =
Paint corpse of the Lord or Messiah

3rd - View with:
Famous actress Katie Holmes =
Hot female ass. Ask Tom Cruise.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Rodgers and Hammerstein hit musical "The Sound of Music" =
Fond Miss teaches smug Austrian children to hum "Do Re Mi"

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The four group members: Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Agnetha Faltskog.=
The famous ABBA. Stunning girls and jolly guys sang 'Fernando', then broke up forever. Smart end!

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
An African American as President of the United States? =
Can interested enthusiasm defeat frantic paranoias?

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
"Who will be elected as the forty-fourth President of the United States of America?" =
That Democrat effortlessly defeats tired Republican foe to win the White House

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
"Who will be elected as the forty fourth President of the United States of America?" =
I'm totally indifferent to each side, who defeats who... suspect trouble thereafter.

3rd - David Bourke with:
Who will be elected as the forty-fourth President of the United States of America? =
No difference to me. At least Bush is out, hyperfast...farewell to the wretched idiot!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
Read this question, come up with your answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is exactly as it appears. No one I know has got it correct yet - including myself.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy she did not know. Yet she thought this guy was amazing, the perfect stereotype dream guy, and considered him to be just the type of man she had always wanted! Straight away, she fell completely in love with him, yet, unluckily, never asked for his name or a number and could not trace him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give it some thought before you try to answer it).

SCROLL DOWN.

=

Answer: She was hoping that the man would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered correctly, then this shows that you think like a psychopath. This quiz was devised by a renowned American psychologist to test which of us have the same mentality as killers.

Several arrested killers did the test and the deranged nuts answered the question correctly.

If you didn't answer the question correctly, then good for you. If you got it right, then please let me know imminently so I can remove you from my mailing list forthwith; unless that will make you mad, in which case I'll just be downright extra-nice to you from now on. Be sure to share the test!

Do remember to let me know if you got it right!

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Two elderly sisters were sitting out on a city park bench in front of a town hall where a flower show was in progress.

The older one said, "My life is getting boring. There's just no spice anymore. For ten dollars, IÕd take off my clothes and streak that stupid flower show!"

"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up ten dollars.

The first old lady fumbled out of her clothes and ran bare-naked through the door into the show.
~
Her sister heard a commotion in the hall -- noisy applause, followed by loud hoots and howls. Soon the wrinkled lady flew swiftly out through the front door of the show on foot, surrounded by a jolly crowd of cheering, saluting New Yorkers.

"So, what happened?" grilled the eager sister still sitting comfortably out in front.

The streaker frowned, hesitated, and then shared, "I took First Place as Best Dried Arrangement."

3rd - Adie Pena with:
TERRORISM
IF YOU SUSPECT IT
REPORT IT

TERRORISTS NEED INFORMATION

Observation and surveillance help terrorists plan attacks. Have you seen anyone taking pictures of security arrangements?

TERRORISTS NEED TRANSPORTATION

If you work in vehicle hire or sales, has a sale or rental made you suspicious?

TERRORISTS NEED TO TRAVEL

Meetings, training and planning can take place anywhere. Do you know someone who travels but is vague about where they are going?

TERRORISTS USE COMPUTERS

Do you know someone who visits terrorism-related websites?

TERRORISTS NEED COMMUNICATION

Anonymous, pay-as-you-go and stolen mobiles are typical. Have you seen someone with large quantities of mobiles? Has it made you suspicious?

CALL 0816 789 321 (54)
CONFIDENTIAL ANTI-TERRORIST HOTLINE
LONDON METROPOLITAN POLICE

=

TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR
OPINIONATIVE UNSHAVEN SURGEON
MAY BE AN OUTSPOKEN ISLAMIC
TERRORIST, NO?

1. Cheesy medical office suite in an ideal unknown, eerie cave.

TERRORIST, NO?

2. Oasis parking spot has a very conspicuous camel tied to a palm tree.

TERRORIST, NO?

3. Television in the waiting room set to NBC/CNN.

TERRORIST, NO?

4. Spontaneously tells you to stop eating bacon.

TERRORIST, NO?

5. You ask the name of his gruesome surgical implements, and wise comeback is "shrapnel."

TERRORIST, NO?

6. Alma Mater is Al Qaeda University.

TERRORIST, NO?

7. Woe! Very unfashionable, sweet 8-year-old daughter is married.

TERRORIST, NO?

8. Unamusedly calls your bagel a "death donut."

TERRORIST, NO?

9. Gives you the keys to his new eye-popping Mercedes auto.

TERRORIST, NO?

10. Ends up all sessions with a furious "Death to evil America now!"

TERRORIST, NO?

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. THESE ARE OUR RULES! Please note these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 16 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We think you are just fine otherwise we would have said something.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
~
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it properly done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. If possible, please say whatever you have to say during that rotten commercial.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 predetermined colors, like pre-programmed Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. Men have no idea what teal or amber is.

1. If it itches, it shall be irreverently scratched. We do this. It's neat!

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying and offended; BUT it is just not worth the effort and stress. Besides men know you are a very tempersome tormentor and will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. If we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY.

1. You have enough of the best, latest clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such smart topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. Me get in shape? Remember 'round' IS a shape!

1. Thanks for reading these statements. Treatise?!? Yes, I know I have to sleep on the sofa tonight; but men really don't mind. It's like camping.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Our Last Summer

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
If you still don't know what to be for Halloween, then here are ten great costumes from "film.com". All it takes is rummaging through your closet and a bit of creativity.

1. The Joker
No act drew as much attention this year as Heath Ledger's Joker. You'll need white face paint, black eye shadow, and temp spray hair color. A purple suit works if you can find one in a vintage shop. Apply red lipstick with your eyes closed for that maniacal touch.
* Bonus points if you get the voice down. "Wanna know how I got these scars?"

2. Sarah Palin
Just as there are three branches of government, there are three pieces needed to pull off Sarah Palin: glasses, a skirt suit, and a frozen-yogurt-swirl hairdo. Throw on lipstick and a flag pin and you're in business.
* Bonus points if you have bangs or a caribou carcass in tow.

3. Michael Phelps
You'll need a lot of self-confidence to pull this trick off. The key items are a Speedo, swim cap and goggles. Use bronzer to define your muscles so you can proudly display eight gold medals across your pecs.
* Bonus points if you bring along your mom.

4. Miley Cyrus
This queen of Disney is a lot more fun than those Disney princesses. Add extensions to your hair, squeeze into tight jeans and a sequined tank. Add a studded belt, cowboy boots, fingerless gloves and hoop earrings, and you're ready to pop-rock.
* Bonus points if you find a kinky guy to be your underwear model boyfriend.

5. Brangelina Baby
This costume works for just about any ethnicity. Dress in hip duds and brag about your globe-trotting, multi-millionaire parents. If you can, sport a faux-hawk.
* Bonus points if you find super-attractive kids to pose as your siblings.
~
6. Jonas Brothers
You'll have mobs of the hottest women worshipping you in your skinny jeans, skinny tie, skinny coat, skinny vest ... you get the idea. Wanna be legit? Wear promise rings.
* Bonus points if one of you has a glucose monitor.

7. Blair Waldorf
Pull that official private school uniform out of the cobwebby closet and accessorize it with preppy rediscoveries: low boots, cotton knee highs, coordinating jewelry, a good designer handbag, and the always essential headband.
* Bonus points if you adopt a pert snobbish attitude and add a Chuck Bass look-a-like prop.

8. Rachel Zoe
The key requirements of this costume style are huge accessories. Giant sunglasses, exaggerated wide-leg jeans, and a fluffy, faux fur vest ought to produce results. Hold a Starbucks coffee cup in your hand all night and you'll shut it down!
* Bonus points if you add the words "I die" and "bananas" to all your conversations.

9. Kirk Lazarus
When channeling Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder", remember, fellows, it's quite important not to risk offending anyone. You would need camouflage fatigues, commando face paint, one realistic wig, and lots of personality for this metamorphosis. Dressing as a dude playing a dude, disguised as another dude is not easy.
* Bonus points if you bust out a hot Australian accent half-way through.

10. Katy Perry
Vintage flair is the key to Katy Perry's personal technique. If you happen to find a retro-inspired romper, then you're all set. Doll up your face with lots of shimmery makeup and sport some beribboned girly accessories. Remember to carry some cherry chapstick in your purse.
* Bonus points if you actually kiss a girl.

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The Vagina Monologues =
Gave to musing on a hole.

2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
'Penthouse' and 'Playboy' found in college dormitories =
Pupils merely felt bonus: good hand-eye coordination!

3rd - Adie Pena with:
Huge breasts ~
Great bushes.

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Anagrammy Placegetters for October 2008

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY