Anagrammy Placings by nedesto in 2012

All the highly-placed anagrams by nedesto from the 2012 Anagrammy Awards.

GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
71% of women usually do think their asses are damn big ~
but 17%, if so asked, would nonetheless marry him again!

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2012:
Eq2nd - nedesto with:
Alas, I'm no ~
Mona Lisa.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2012:
Eq2nd - nedesto with:
1. Romney
2. Santorum
3. Gingrich
4. Paul
5. Perry
6. Bachmann
=
1. Inhuman
2. Creepy
3. Grumpy
4. Boring
5. Charlatan
6. Mrs. "No!"

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
British scientist Stephen William Hawking =
Knew spacetime with his brilliant insights.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Stop Online Piracy Act =
Potential conspiracy?

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, January 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The Superior called the sisters together informing them in dismay, "And, as of now, we have a case of gonorrhea in the convent!"
=
"Yes! Praise Heaven!" sang a nun coming over to the front of the room as she cheered, "We're so tired of swilling that damn Chianti!"

 

LONG CATEGORY, January 2012:
Eq2nd - nedesto with:
Twelve young priests were going to be ordained into the order. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked, while a blond big-breasted model danced nude before them.

First, all the priests had small bells attached to their penises. Then they were told that anyone whose bell so much as tinkles while the model pranced in front of them wasn't going to be ordained, because he hadn't reached a state of spiritual purity. ~

So, the nubile amorous model danced heatedly before the first candidate without any reaction at all. As she went down the line, the same response was repeated from all the priests until she got to the remaining priest.

As she danced by, his bell began to ring so loudly indeed that it flew clattering away to the ground. Mortified, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell...

When behind him, all the other bells started to ring.

RUDE CATEGORY, January 2012:
Eq1st - nedesto with:
Threesomes =
Hetero mess!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
When I asked my pal Fred about his ornery addiction to ~
brake fluid, he said, "Oh, don't worry, Ed. I can stop any time."

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
On the Origin of Species written by Charles Darwin =
Clear inspired theory of genetics was born within.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, February 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Newest iPad =
I want speed!

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Bessy the old Guernsey told Molly the heifer, "I've been artificially inseminated; it was done only about four hours ago!"
=
"Hogwash!" Molly said acutely, "I don't believe any of it for one minute."
Bessy raised her aged hoof, "It's entirely true - no bull."

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Top novels:
1. Anna Karenina
2. Madame Bovary
3. War and Peace =
1. Reawakened in a romance
2. A savvy mantrap
3. Bad Napoleon!

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
Find Groening's spoiler? =
Springfield's in... Oregon!

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, April 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The top three child prodigies:
1. Mozart
2. Picasso
3. Pascal
=
1. Greatest composer
2. Artistic lad
3. Chap philosophized

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, April 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Top ranked films:
1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. The Godfather
3. The Godfather: Part II
4. Pulp Fiction
5. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
=
1. Freedom tempted Andy
2. Coppola hit
3. Kiss of Death
4. Wild fresh Tarantino breakthrough
5. The Gold, the Gunfight and the Epitaph

 

LONG CATEGORY, April 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
A guy sees a little duck walking slowly by some railroad tracks, seemingly not able to fly.

He stops his car and puts the duck in the passenger seat and goes along the road, when a cop pulls him over.

"Don't you know it's against the law to drive loose birds around inside your car?" the officer asks the guy.

"Yes, yes, I know, sorry," the guy explains, "Only this duck cannot fly, so I'm going to take it to the zoo."

"Okay then," says the cop, and lets the guy go off with the duck.

The next day, the cop sees the guy again, and he still has the duck in his car.

Exasperated, he stops the guy, and says, "Look, I thought you were taking that duck to the zoo."

"Yes, I did," says the guy, "And now I'm taking him to the theatre."

=

This outrageously cute duck waddles into this store and chattily asks the clerk, "Hi, hi! You got any gwapes?"

The clerk says, "Huh? No."

The next day, the wee duck goes into the shop and asks, "Hi, hi! You got any gwapes?"

The clerk frowns visibly and says, "No! I told you I haven't got any grapes!"

The next day, the duck enters into the shop and asks, "Hi, hi! You got any gwapes?"

"No, dammit!" the frazzled clerk yells, "Now if I see you coming around this store again asking me about grapes, I am surely going to staple both of your idiotic little feet to the floor!!"

The next day, the duck waddles into the store and asks the clerk, "Hi, hi! You got any staples?"

The clerk says, "...Um...no..."

"Good!" says the duck, "Got any gwapes?"

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, May 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Captain America
Black Widow
The Hulk
Iron Man
Thor
=
Patriot
Hot chick
Calm down!
Urbane man
Ah, I like war!

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, May 2012:
eq1st - nedesto with:
PM David Cameron =
Vapid commander.

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
This man takes his cross-eyed cur to some vet who casually raised it up and peered into its eyes.

The vet heaved a hushed sigh. ~

"My god... I'll have to put this terrier down." he said.

" 'Cause he is cross-eyed!?" asked the upset man.

"No", said the vet, "It's 'cause he's heavy."

 

RUDE CATEGORY, May 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Walt Disney's Pinocchio =
I can shit woody pencils!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
A documentary =
Camera on duty.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, June 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
"Iron Lady" Margaret Thatcher =
Angry rhetorical mad hatter.

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, June 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life
=
Author's revolutionary paper ruffles creation mob's long-held tenet of faith, offering to raise science over Genesis.

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Because I could not stop for Death -
He kindly stopped for me -
The Carriage held but just Ourselves -
And Immortality."
=
Poor ghostlike lady, sold much? No?
Obscure in life retreat -
Embraced devoutly, just past death, so:
Triumph in defeat!

 

LONG CATEGORY, June 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
How to Defend Yourself Against the Velociraptor

1. You need to be sure you're fighting a velociraptor. To identify it; find something to throw at it. If it runs at you phenomenally fast, infuriated, thrashing and screaming, it probably is a velociraptor. You are now in some big danger.

2. Next, run away. It will catch you immediately.

3. Now's your big chance! Hit it behind the head. But maybe in the arm or the tail.

4. Call the police but don't say much about fighting a velociraptor because they won't believe you; say you are fighting terrorism.

Tips
* Avoid velociraptors.
* I recommend you always have a homemade phony velociraptor costume handy so you can mesmerise a velociraptor into thinking you are also a velociraptor. (Though note: this won't actually work)
Warnings
* Velociraptors have very sharp teeth and hidden claws for penetration as demonstrated in Jurassic Park, when Sam Neill shamelessly uses that raptor claw to discuss slicing that kid up into a mess of flesh confetti.
* Many velociraptors can open doors barehanded and may even have the ability to learn other simple tasks such as: gardening and listening to Country Music.

=

How to Appear Human

1. Choose a Human to imitate. Avoid world leaders; assassination may lead to your being detected.

2. Grow - or attach using adhesive - "Human like" limbs which may be artificially constructed out of ordinary raw materials (e.g. ice, duct tape, etc...) Then select dye color having visibility in the average Human's visual spectrum, applying this dye liberally to any limbs.

3. The final layer is comprised entirely of woven fabric. Depending on the age of the Human which you have chosen to imitate, rips and stretch marks may be very convincing. Finally, apply polystyrene triangles and circles to just the top of your anatomy. Do not overdo it; Humans are not Krakens.

4. You are ready to embark on your mission. To move yourself forward, push against the ground with all of your prostheses that have an orientation towards the native gravitational body.

Tips
* Attaching fibrous protein strands to the top of your outer anatomy along with geometric shapes allows for a more convincing disguise.
Warnings
* Do not eat other Humans in public; experience indicates that their culture considers this wholly unacceptable behavior.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:

[This crossword contains four titles from a beloved writer and a farewell highlighted in blue. The letters in the completed crossword grid are an anagram of the combined set of "ACROSS" and "DOWN" clues.]

ACROSS
1. Coal-like
7. Reed (5,4)
12. Guard (9-2-4)
13. Review
14. Explain
15. Artifice
16. ..., Eighth, ___
17. Meat
20. Parapet
22. Pious
23. More!
25. Cave
27. Adieu! (3,3,7,8)
29. Fade-out
31. Ant-like
32. Weir (4,3)
35. A space title (1,2,3,6)
37. Raver
39. Pure
40. Gorse
41. A short (3,6)
44. Dart
45. Note (4,4,7)
46. Sauciest
47. Fair fare (8,3)

DOWN
1. Got hurt
2. Tint
3. Imperator
4. Tracer (6,6)
5. Canon
6. Necessity (11,10)
7. The ___ Chronicles
8. "A... L?... A, T!"
9. Lier?
10. "Oops!" (1,5,2,7)
11. Biograph (4,7)
18. Bird (8,7)
19. Extra
21. Firm tone
24. Cut
26. Easy Street (8,4)
27. Resonant
28. Dutch enamel
30. I drop balls (4,5)
33. Irrigator (4,5)
34. Outlaw
36. Insect
38. Icon
42. Inmate, once (2-3)
43. Tame

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, July 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Neuroticism ~
in Tom Cruise.

 

LONG CATEGORY, July 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
This sloth named David is creeping through the forest one day when this gang of snails approaches him, beating him up very severely.

The sloth is left at the bottom of a tree and is beaten and bleeding with several cuts and bruises all over.

It's several hours later and the sloth somehow gathers up enough strength to go limping into the local police station. He stumbles into the sergeant's office.

"My word! Whatever in the world happened to you?!" says the officer.

"A bunch of really mean snails beat me up," David replies sobbing.

"Well, can you describe who did this to you ?" the sergeant asks.

"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."

=

An old vampire bat dripping with blood flies home to get some rest. The other bats smell the succulent blood dripping and ask where he got it.

"Let me sleep, darn it!", he tells them, but nevertheless they annoyingly insist until he gives in.

"Oh, fine then... follow me" he says cursing, and goes off with the other vampire bats flapping behind him in a cloud.

Out of the cave's passageway he leads them, swooping down through the valley and far across a river and into a woods, finally coasting to a stop.

"This is the place. Now, do you see that tree branch over there?" he asks.

"Yes!" the bats all shout in a restless furor.

"Good" says the bat, "Because I sure didn't!"

SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2012:
1st - nedesto with: [This crossword includes two revolutionary scientific theories and the scientist's name highlighted in blue. The letters in the completed 17x17 crossword grid are an anagram of both the 17 "ACROSS" and 17 "DOWN" clues which are anagrams of each other.

As an additional hint, the solution of the three clues highlighted in red comprise an anagram of the scientific effect for which the scientist won the Nobel Prize. (most people think it was for 19-Across or 5-Down)]

ACROSS
1. Stole
4. Loafers (4,7)
9. Duller
10. Name (see eleven Down)
13. Privy internal figure
14. Prior (2,7)
15. Input/Output
16. Changed character
19. I unify space/time (7,10)
21. ___ fill all actual labor there (3-11)
23. Ready
25. Sharper point (Latin) (1,8)
26. A nearby conspicuous star
27. Trip type (3-3)
28. Titian need (3,5)
30. Any ion in solution
31. Receive

DOWN
1. Oral copulation of her labia
2. Pour
3. I roar!
4. Universe's painfully swollen epoch?
5. Mass/energy parity (7,10)
6. Afternoon
7. Prattle
8. Bristles
11. An epitaph: An eccentric intellect
12. I have made perfect tense (4,10)
17. Continuously (3,2,3,3)
18. Individually (3,2,3)
20. Erupting
22. Endure
24. Attire
25. Unitary
29. ___ I dare?

[ The Nobel Prize in Physics 1921 was awarded to Albert Einstein "for his services to Theoretical Physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect."] CREPT+IO+CLOTHE = PHOTOELECTRIC

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The Olympic medals:
1. Gold
2. Silver
3. Bronze
=
1. Lovely gloss!
2. Commendable
3. Third prize

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, August 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
ADA stripped Lance Armstrong of his titles =
Doping taints this all-famed sports career.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2012:
eq1st - nedesto with:
1. Facebook
2. Twitter
3. LinkedIn
4. MySpace
5. Google Plus
=
1. Like
2. Compact
3. Working Lead
4. Obsolete
5. Stupefying

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, August 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
The winning bidder told the auctioneer, "Sir, as I paid a big fortune for this budgie, he better talk as well as you say."=
"That fine little bird? Sure, it's a fearless gabber!" replied the auctioneer. "Who do you think was bidding against you?"

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, August 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
"Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls go everywhere." - the late Helen Gurley Brown, international editor of Cosmopolitan.
=
Enrobing gals with her cool nerve,
A top 'girlie' wrote a line;
Yet lonely gals ought to observe:
Hard men are good to find!

 

LONG CATEGORY, August 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
10 Things Not To Say During Childbirth

1. You know, looking at her you'd never guess that Demi Moore had a baby!
2. I just wish that men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
3. Can you pop that sucker out before Sunday Night Football starts?
4. You think that hurts? Let me tell you how I smashed my finger playing hockey...
5. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
6. When you lie on your back there, you look just like a python that swallowed a boar.
7. This kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
8. Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
9. Remember what we learned in Lamaze class: HEE HEE HOO HOO. You just aren't using the right words!
10. Go ahead, Lady, you don’t have the guts to pull that trigger.
=

10 Things Not To Say To A Policeman

1. Hell, you must've been doing a hundred and twenty to catch up with me. Good job!
2. Hi! Do you know why you pulled me over? OK, just so one of us does.
3. Which hick numbskull are you? Andy or Barney?
4. Huh. I thought that cops had to be in good condition.
5. Silly me; I hadn't realized that my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
6. Kiss my ass, you mindless blithering idiot. I pay your salary!
7. Hello! You must be the burly helmeted bisexual dude from the Village People!
8. The last cop gave me a warning, too!
9. Hello, Officer... You're not gonna check the trunk for hashish, right?
10. I was just trying to keep up with traffic... I know there's no other cars around here; that's how far ahead they are!

SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
[This crossword celebrates an important international event and includes nine thematic entries highlighted in blue.
The letters in the completed crossword grid are an anagram of both the "ACROSS" and "DOWN" clues which are anagrams of each other.]

ACROSS
1. Once-big union
3. Torrential cloudburst
7. Sir
12. Is woeful (3,2,4)
13. Pool's Michael
15. Seizure ill due to thiamine poverty
16. Corps
19. Either
20. Bold act
21. Blame
23. People's games shone! (3,6,8)
26. Regardless (2,5,2)
28. Beef
30. ___/DC
32. Copper-tin alloy
33. Privy; loo
35. Tinman's need
36. Oscar ___
39. Ph.D.
40. Ripped
41. JAM's Usain

DOWN
1. We
2. Argent
4. Broad topic (4,5)
5. Rumor (9,2,6)
6. From
8. Bliss
9. Cruelty
10. Lustrous metal
11. Opposite of aromatic
14. Impression
17. Hole in nose
18. Nubile-bodied blond high jumper Ennis
22. Lazily
24. Eastern
25. Did hover
27. Decanter; cup
29. All ___ !
31. Phony
34. Top-place disc
37. Pa's gal
38. I love Reese's Pieces


=

RUDE CATEGORY, August 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Airplane stewardesses =
Pert asses wander aisle.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Closer nude shots =
Those scoundrels!

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, September 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
1. General
2. Entertainment
3. Topical
4. People's Names
5. Other Names
6. Anagrammy Challenge
7. Medium
8. Long
9. Special
10. Rude
11.Unspecified
=
1. All Else
2. Artistic
3. Recent
4. Nom de Plume
5. Place; Thing, e.g.
6. Fine Game
7. Hilarity Appeals
8. (same)
9. Poem Guru
10. Men Need Manners
11. No Can Do

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, September 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
"There are some things that are so serious you have to laugh at them." - Niels Bohr, Danish physicist.
=
On the other hand, every past U.S. election gig seems so hilarious (bah ha ha!) that I shit my trousers.

 

LONG CATEGORY, September 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
Two nuns from Norway had just gotten off the Staten Island Ferry and one nun said to the other, "I heard that Americans eat dogs."

"My, how odd!" her companion replied. "But if we shall live here, we might as well do as the Americans."

"Quite" nodded the mother superior wisely, noticing a hot dog vendor nearby. They walked to the cart. "Two dogs, if you please, sir," she said.

The vendor smiled obligingly, placing the hot dogs into foil as he handed them over the counter.

Excitedly, the nuns hurried to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.

The mother superior stared at it a while and began to blush meekly. Then, whispering cautiously, she said, "What part… did you get…?"

=

A happy older couple, both widowed, had been going out a long time. Urged on by friends to get married, they decided that it was high time to do so.

Before the nuptials, they went out to dinner and had a conversation regarding how marriage should work, discussing money decisions, living arrangements, and such.

Finally, the old man thought that this was the time he ought to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he turned and asked, rather tentatively.

"I would prefer it infrequently" she replied shyly.

The man sat a moment, cleaned his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"

SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Crossword

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
Two fat blokes are at the pub. "Your round," says the one. ~
The other bloke spun, went: "So are you, you fat bastard!"

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
'All my troubles seemed so far away' =
Early Beatles(R) melody was famous.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
Hugo Chavez is elected to a fourth term as president =
CIA prefers the Venezuela dictator's tough methods.

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
A lady keeps peeking through these turkeys at the grocery store, but she can�t find any large enough for her family's needs. ~

 

LONG CATEGORY, October 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
A dustman is going up a street. He gets to a house where the bin isn't out yet, so he has a look for it, and knocks.

The door is answered by a shy Chinese gentleman, Lee. "Harro," he says.

"All right, where's your bin, yeah?" asks the dustman.

"I bin on toiret," replies Lee, looking perplexed.

"No," demands the dustman, "Where's ya dustbin?"

Lee scratches his head and protests, "I dust bin on toiret!"

"Christ, but you're still not getting my drift," curses the dustman, upset. "Where's your wheely bin?!"

"Aw fine," Lee gulps bashfully. "I wheely bin having wank."

=

Betty is growing frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex.

She finally buys some split-crotch undies she had seen in a lingerie shop.

One night at home, Betty takes a shower. She puts on a slinky blue satin negligee and wears the split-crotch panties underneath.

She then strolls between her husband and the telly, and suggestively tosses one leg up on his chair arm.

"Hi there, Sweetie. Would you like some of this?" Betty purrs.

"Are you kidding me, woman?" her hubby says. "I mean, look what it did to your underwear!"

TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
Mitt Romney gets second place =
Democracy settles on pigment.

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2012:
eq1st - nedesto with:
A nosy old woman sees Donald in the park eating three candy bars and then tells him, "Eating so much junk is very bad for you!"
=
"Lady, my grampa Jack lived to be a hunnert."

"And so, naturally he ate candy?" she retorts.

"No, he minded his own fooking business."

 

LONG CATEGORY, November 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
Goofy Definitions:

ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.

HEROES: What that guy in a boat has to do.

PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

PARADOX: Are two physicians.

BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.

COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put cabinets together.

EYEDROPPER: A very clumsy ophthalmologist.

LEFTBANK: What that robber did when his bag was too full of money.

SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store has to do.

BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees police with.

=

RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.

MISTY: How some golfer types create divots.

PARASITES: French things you see from high on top of the Eiffel Tower.

POLARIZE: What penguins see snowdrifts with.

PHARMACIST: Boy who ran off to be a helper on the farm.

ARBITRATOR: Cook that chooses to leave Arby's to work at McDonalds.

AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter or cowboy hopes to do.

SUDAFED: Brought harassing litigation against a government agent.

RELIEF: What each tree hopes to do in the Spring.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2012:
1st - nedesto with:

1. Go away
4. Lyrical poem
7. Boy kids
9. Crack
14. Inane dunderheads (7,6)
15. Swelling due to disease
16. Abandon it
17. Attain; meet
18. Use a label
20. Drought-weary area (4,4)
22. Rifle type (5,6)
25. Off yourself
27. Intent
28. Salt
30. Loveless, platitudinous union (8,2,11)
33. Couch
35. ___ won't do!
36. Presently
39. Electronic computers use it (7,4)
41. Punch (4,4)
44. Dears
45. Green
46. ___ ___ License Agreement (3,6)
50. Root vegetable
51. French kiss? (6,7)
52. Rein___
53. Perpetrate murder
54. Conditionally
55. Crime
=
1. Yokel, dupe or loon
2. Pasta type
3. Old is reused
5. Fatso
6. Microcomputer core (7,10,4)
7. Sheltered to the wind
8. Nederlands hat (5,3)
10. Currently attractive?
11. Barterer
12. Thank
13. Be decidedly sober
19. Day fifteen
21. A wee pancake
23. Car
24. Angle
26. Gone
29. Calling (5,2,4)
30. Inspirer
31. Curious
32. Twist
34. Consul
37. Cue we use to display ennui
38. Mane style
40. One's motherland
42. Is gleeful
43. A nitrogenous bean
47. Impugn severely
48. Fraction
49. Militia

RUDE CATEGORY, November 2012:
2nd - nedesto with:
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas =
Happy gents shag a native... sans wives!

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, December 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
Catherine "Kate" Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge =
Duke's child-bearing mate, henceforth domesticated.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
Festivals:
1. Advent
2. Christmas
3. Boxing Day
4. New Year's Eve
=
1. Calendar
2. Nativity
3. Boss served many gifts
4. We have sex!

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
The world's five all-time most noteworthy people:

1. Leonardo da Vinci
2. Isaac Newton
3. Albert Einstein
4. Plato
5. Galileo Galilei
=
1. Mona Lisa painter
2. "I'll follow gravity down."
3. "I have entwined spacetime."
4. Rational theologist
5. A telescope led to rebellion

 

LONG CATEGORY, December 2012:
3rd - nedesto with:
Benny walked into his welfare office to pick up his check. Marching straight up to Ken, the social worker at the counter Benny said, "Hi, Ken, my good man.... I do HATE getting welfare. I'd rather be working."

Ken said, "Then your timing is really most excellent, sir, as we have this brand new opening from a wealthy old man who wants a bodyguard for his beautiful nineteen year old daughter."

"You'll have to drive her in the old man's Mercedes, Benny, and the old man will supply all your clothes. Because of the long hours, the meals will be provided. Then, you'll also be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips." Ken continued.

"This is rather indelicate to say, Benny, but as part of this job assignment, you will also have to try to satisfy her... ahem... desires, as the girl has a rather strong... ahem... drive."

Wide-eyed, Benny said, "You gotta be bullshitting me, Ken!"

Ken said, "Yeah, well I'm sorry, but you started it."

=

Will goes into a pub. The bar is completely empty, except for the bartender. Will orders a drink, the bartender pours it and goes in the back room, leaving Will alone in the bar.

Suddenly, Will hears a vague muffled voice in the bar, "Pardon, but your tie's very nice."

He looks around, but sees no one. Will sips his drink again and then hears the muffled voice say, "Wow, your hair's really sexy today."

Again, he glances around, but no one's there. Thinking he's losing his mind, Will goes back to his drink. Then he hears the muffled voice say, "Wow, you look truly great. Have you lost weight, too?"

Just then, the bartender emerges from back of the room. "Was that you talking before?" asks Will.

"Well, no, I didn't say anything," says the bartender.

"Really? Because I distinctly heard someone say "Nice tie", then they complimented my hair and said I'd lost weight."

"Oh," said the bartender, "That's the peanuts, they're complimentary."

SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2012:
1st - nedesto with:
1. Molten rock
4. Pop
7. Crooked (4-1-4)
12. Prick
13. Have concerns (5,2)
14. I'm who is Santa's third
15. Birthplace
16. Use my words
17. Blithe
18. Reminiscence
20. Adherence
24. Wise
26. O-C-O (3,3)
28. Sheep heaps
30. Much beloved Crosby tune (3,2,4,3,9)
32. I'm a first for Santa
34. Plaster type
35. Sugary nut confections
38. Scalia, et al (7,5)
40. Smart-ass
43. Vestibule
45. Eyes
46. Mistaken; invalid
48. Calm
49. A kind of 52 Across
50. Cause a humorous crack-up
51. Guides
52. Coconut meringue, e.g.
53. "To our health!"=
1. Us fogies
2. Cartilage
3. Cherub
4. "Do I hear a thousand?" (5,7)
5. Motor
6. When my true love gave me stuff (6,4,2,9)
7. Fickleness
8. Spell check (4,4)
9. "KLANG!" (5,4)
10. Happen
11. Celebration
19. Topic
21. Accolades
22. Semaphores as a distress (1-1-1)
23, Nativity
25. Stacks (5,2)
27. Eccentric human
29. Arborous, resinous sap
31. Chutney
32. Como se dice, "Two"?
33. Complete (5,4)
36. Candy
37. Caribou
39. Cephalopod
41. Intermission
42. Isthmus is a kind (4-2)
43. Enumerates
44. Vile, murky water
47. Scorch or burn

Table of 2012 Placegetters


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