Anagrammy Placegetters for March 2019
All the highly-placed anagrams from the March 2019 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Saving the planet =
It's the vegan plan!
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
End of the world is nigh =
How's the fiddling, Nero?
3rd - Josiah Winslow with:
Learn from your mistakes. =
*My* faults? I make NO errors!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
What's Garfield's main life goal? =
Fill a fridge with some lasagna!
2nd - Josiah Winslow with:
The Michael Jackson documentary "Leaving Neverland" =
Many have checked: call it "revenge", and not "journalism".
3rd - Adie Pena with:
'Antony and Cleopatra' by William Shakespeare =
It's happened, a snake clearly bit a royal woman!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Undocumented persons =
Ones Trump's denounced.
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Great Britain and the European Union =
Pending area, but either an in or an out
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
They say that Mick Jagger has slept with over 4000 women =
4000? Some chap! I vow that wealthy jerk's getting my share!
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Linda Louise Eastman McCartney =
Stance is made on animal cruelty.
2nd - View with:
Korean Kim Jong Un =
Joke running amok.
3rd - Julian Lofts with:
Theresa May ‡
"Hear me, stay!"
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Congestion charge =
Going here can cost!
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland =
I find broken nation trading under grim no-deal threat
2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
"I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States." =
"I, Donald J. Trump, attest that I will offend you, expel the White House staff, and fleece the country for side millions."
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
The March wind roars in
like a wild beast, the lion,
And it make us shiver
as it's passing by.
=
But when a wind isn't icy,
is mild as a dove,
like a kiss o' the lamb,
Ah, spring rain starts here!
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
We are looking at a society increasingly dependent on machines, yet decreasingly capable of making or even using them effectively. - Douglas Rushkoff =
And as technology's finding the scene,
We get geeked, aim to buy a machine.
Forking up any price
For some lovely device,
Folks unfailingly stare at a screen.
2nd - David Bourke with:
"We are looking at a society increasingly dependent on machines, yet decreasingly capable of making or even using them effectively." - Douglas Rushkoff
=
Wake up! Turn off and cancel every unnecessary spy gadget in any all-seeing voice gimmick, banal needless doohickey, e-This or i-That. Forget 'em...go offline.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
We are looking at a society increasingly dependent on machines, yet decreasingly capable of making or even using them effectively. - Douglas Rushkoff =
Anagram - A Baffling PC
Every f***ing day, every f***ing week, my desk PC launches into that song 'Someone Like You'!
Technical Engineer: "Of course it does. It's a Dell."
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said: "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"That is fine," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered the desert for forty years, so of course I am humble enough to sleep out there in the barn.
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What is wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in that barn. There is a PIG in the barn and my faith believes that animal is unclean."
~
His Hindu friend agreed to swap with him. But then a few minutes later, there was another knock on the door.
"Bah! Botheration!" cried the farmer, "What is it?"
The Hindu man replied, "I am grateful to your good self for your indispensable help. However, I am disappointed there's a COW in the barn. Remember that many share my belief that they are sacred. Afraid I am unable to sleep on holy ground."
That left only the lawyer himself he had to appease. "No, not out... oh, if I have to!" he grumbled bitterly, but then retired to the despised, shabby barn.
But then soon, moments later there was to be yet another knock on the farmer's door.
The farmer, a frustrated and tired man, opened the door - ABRACADABRA! - and sees standing before him ... the pig and the cow.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The Labourite teacher asked her class how many of them were big Jeremy Corbyn fans.
Not knowing what a Jeremy Corbyn fan was, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids put their hands up... except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he had decided to be different...again.
Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a big Jeremy Corbyn fan, Miss.'
The teacher said, 'But why aren't you a fan?'
Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Conservative supporter.'
The teacher asked him why he was a Conservative supporter.
Little Johnny answered, 'Well Miss, my Mum is a Conservative and my Dad is still a Conservative as well, so I suppose that's the reason.'
Annoyed at this glib answer, the teacher asked, 'If your Mother was an idiot and your Father was an idiot, what would that make you?'
Little Johnny replied, 'A big Jeremy Corbyn fan?'
=
Miss Jeffery, a young female teacher, asked her class of kids what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Little Johnny was the first to reply: "Hey, Miss Jeffery, I wanna be a billionaire and join the top, most expensive clubs. I wanna take my bitch out and buy her a shiny new red Ferrari worth a half a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, the most massive mansion in Malibu, her own private jet to travel the world, give her a Platinum Mastercard, and make love to her three times every day on my yacht."
The teacher was shocked, by Little Johnny's decidedly juicy imagery but was unsure what to do about it, so she decided to disregard his reply and continue her narrative with the rest of the class.
"So, what do you want to be Jenny?" she asked a young girl seated at the back of the class.
Jenny replied: “I wanna be Little Johnny’s bitch!”
3rd - Adie Pena with:
The Ten Greatest Sci-Fi Films of All Time
10. Solaris
9. Children of Men
8. Star Wars
7. Alien
6. Frankenstein
5. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
4. Brazil
3. The Fly
2. Planet of the Apes
1. 2001: A Space Odyssey=
10. Zany water planet
9. Dystopian hell
8. Franchise starter 1.0
7. Fear Ridley Scott!
6. Karloff's fame: 2.0 stars
5. Set Elliot's pal free
4. Rebel imagines
3. Seth is reticent
2. Heston in a fix
1. Meet HAL.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Adie Pena with:
IT IS MARCH
by William Stanley Merwin
It is March and black dust falls out of the books
Soon I will be gone
The tall spirit who lodged here has
Left already
On the avenues the colorless thread lies under
Old prices
When you look back there is always the past
Even when it has vanished
But when you look forward
With your dirty knuckles and the wingless
Bird on your shoulder
What can you write
The bitterness is still rising in the old mines
The fist is coming out of the egg
The thermometers out of the mouths of the corpses
At a certain height
The tails of the kites for a moment are
Covered with footsteps
Whatever I have to do has not yet begun =
CENTRE OF ATTENTION
President Macron, he, likewise skillful, writes a poem of thoughtful memories to
A little girl named Sophie who was
Reflecting on the emotions she vividly got. But
Infatuated with the "lacy skirt" the maiden had, she shares her withheld thoughts,
She is second to none. Somehow
Filled with wonder, she looks at the symbol's shadow as it touches the sky.
Returning to the books of Cocteau, Cendrars,
Apolinaire, Aragon, and like a
New song of sublime virtuosity by Charles Trenet, he
Cherishes every word that the little visitor wrote down; but
Europe and the mistrustful BBC have a busy day foolishly asking, "He really wrote that?"
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
AMERICAN TUNE
By
Simon and Garfunkel
Many's the time I've been mistaken, and many times confused
Yes and I've often felt forsaken, and certainly misused
Ah but I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm just weary through my bones
Still you don't expect to be bright and bon-vivant
So far away from home, so far away from home
And I don't know a soul who's not been battered
I don't have a friend who feels at ease
I don't know a dream that's not been shattered or driven to its knees
But it's alright, it's alright, for we live so well, so long
Still, when I think of the road we're travelling on
I wonder what's gone wrong, I can't help it I wonder what's gone wrong
And I dreamed I was dying, I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly
And looking back down at me, smiled reassuringly
And I dreamed I was flying, and high up above my eyes could clearly see
The Statue of Liberty, sailing away to sea, and I dreamed I was flying
But we come on a ship they called Mayflower
We come on a ship that sailed the moon
We come in the age's most uncertain hours and sing an American tune
And it's alright, oh it's alright, it's alright, you can be forever blessed
Still tomorrow's gonna be another working day and I'm trying to get some rest
That's all I'm trying, to get some rest=
BRITISH LAMENT
By
An Old Man (Anon)
Many's the time I've been heartbroken, and many times in tears,
I confess new sadness has awoken in my declining years.
My fine nation, my fine nation, what has become of you?
Most of the many things I loved in this pleasant land,
Are gone and out of view, all gone and out of view.
For the young men who died to keep Britain free,
We made statues to commemorate,
But those symbols of wartime bravery, fools choose to desecrate;
But it's alright, we're British, and we're tolerant to cruel men,
Yet, when I think of what Britain has become,
I wonder how it'll end, my God, I wonder how it'll end.
I was dreaming again last night, I dreamt my country stood big and strong,
That our Government was united and chose right over wrong,
And I dreamt my grandchildren grew up safe from harm after I'd gone,
That good ruled over evil; but I woke up later on, so sad it had been a dream.
Mighty juggernauts still keep rolling along,
And traffic's clogging the motorways,
So we make extra roads and houses and slice the countryside away,
Till the wildlife's all extinguished, strangled as tarmac invades,
And our island sinks beneath the weight, yet still we manage to simply say:
It's all okay, we're British. Yes, it's all okay.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
The following is from the original work of the Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, entitled: IF YOU FORGET ME.
Quiero que sepas
una cosa.
Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe:
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.
=
I need you love, to know
one thing.
To see how it appears:
if I gaze amazed,
on a pale opaque moon face,
Juno, a volcano, a late rose,
red leaves of autumn or a glass,
if I once clasp to me a flame,
an impalpable ember or
a creased old log,
I find all carries me to you;
as if all that exists:
aromas, colours, aqua, light,
cool jade ... more too,
must be little boats that
are sailing out to conquer
a unique unconquered isle,
an unequalled soul
reassuring me.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Discrimination based on the colour of a man's skin =
No Boneheads, Idiots nor Nationalism! Fuck racism!
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Vaginal curtain? =
An actual virgin!
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Female porn stars =
Partners of males.
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