Long Anagram by David Bourke

President George W. Bush

George W. Bush is the 43rd President of the United States. He was sworn into office January 20, 2001, after a campaign in which he outlined sweeping proposals to reform America's public schools, transform our national defense, provide tax relief, modernize Social Security and Medicare, and encourage faith-based and community organizations to work with government to help Americans in need. President Bush served for six years as the 46th Governor of the State of Texas, where he earned a reputation as a compassionate conservative who shaped public policy based on the principles of limited government, personal responsibility, strong families, and local control.

President Bush was born on July 6, 1946, in New Haven, Connecticut, and he grew up in Midland and Houston, Texas. He received a bachelor's degree from Yale University in 1968, then served as an F-102 fighter pilot in the Texas Air National Guard. President Bush received a Master of Business Administration from Harvard Business School in 1975. After graduating, he moved back to Midland and began a career in the energy business. After working on his father's successful 1988 presidential campaign, he assembled the group of partners that purchased the Texas Rangers baseball franchise in 1989. He served as managing general partner of the Texas Rangers until he was elected Governor on November 8, 1994, with 53.5 percent of the vote. He became the first Governor in Texas history to be elected to consecutive four-year terms when he was re-elected on November 3, 1998, with 68.6 percent of the vote.

Since taking office, President Bush has signed into law bold initiatives to improve public schools by raising standards, requiring accountability, and strengthening local control. He has signed tax relief that provided rebate checks and lower tax rates for everyone who pays income taxes in America. He has increased pay and benefits for America's military and is working to save and strengthen Social Security and Medicare. He is also committed to ushering in a responsibility era in America, and has called on all Americans to be "citizens, not spectators; citizens, not subjects; responsible citizens building communities of service and a Nation of character."

The attacks of September 11th changed America - and in President Bush's words, "in our grief and anger we have found our mission and our moment." President Bush declared war against terror and has made victory in the war on terrorism and the advance of human freedom the priorities of his Administration. Already, the United States military and a great coalition of nations have liberated the people of Afghanistan from the brutal Taliban regime and denied al Qaeda its safe haven of operations. Thousands of terrorists have been captured or killed and operations have been disrupted in many countries around the world. In the President's words, "our Nation - this generation - will lift a dark threat of violence from our people and our future. We will rally the world to this cause by our efforts, by our courage. We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail."

President Bush is married to Laura Welch Bush, a former teacher and librarian, and they have twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna. The Bush family also includes their two dogs, Spot and Barney, and a cat, India.

 

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President George W. Bush

George "Dubya" Bush, the 43rd President of the United States of America, narrowly managed to scrape into The White House on January twentieth two-thousand and one, after the votes of many Florida ethnic minorities were discounted, and several drawn-out fixed election recounts to ensure adversary Al Gore was kept out at all costs. One of the few people who can make even Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton appear to be intellectual (I.Q. of 1.688182844588), he is perhaps best-known for his many bird-brained, befuddled, retarded grammar-bastardizations, and a bizarre track-record of dense so-called "Bushisms", inane verbal crap, 'bananas' craziness such as:

1. "Reading is the basics for all learning"

2. "They misunderestimated me"

3. "More and more of our imports are coming from overseas"

4. "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it"

5. "I don't need to be subliminabable"

6. "We need an energy bill that encourages consumption"

7. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test"

8. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican"

9. "Is our children learning?"

10. "It's your money. You paid for it"

11. "I know the human being and the fish can co-exist peacefully"

12. "Laura and I really don't realise how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis"

and

13. "We ought to make the pie higher".

Caricatured as a twat, as vacant and brainless, as a stupid, arrogant, deficient extreme cretin, described as a dangerous and evil murdering Western warmonger, branded a barbaric terrorist raving nutter, and possibly the most terrible, unpopular modern American president since Richard Nixon, since arriving in office 'The Toxic Texan' has shown a wanton, arrant, craven disregard for the export interests of any other country, even ripping-up the Kyoto environmental emissions agreement to save (and even further) the international oil-refining interests of his family, and of establishment millionaire friends such as Halliburton Incorporated's Richard Bruce 'Dick' Cheney (who just happens to be United States Vice- President), and abusing his vast power to finish-off several failed objectives of his geriatric father's reviled, crisis-ridden, confused administration. (Such as toppling Saddam 'The Ace Of Spades' Hussein).

After the September 11th. Twin Towers (World Trade Center) and Pentagon indescribable atrocities, he does, at least, have some idea of where Afghanistan and Iraq are on a map, but 99.9999999 percent of the world's Arabic/Asian population are uncomfortable with George's warped war vision of America being the one nation ever permitted to possess Weapons of Mass Destruction.

He was convicted of driving under the influence of excessive alcohol, is rumoured to have had a cocaine problem, and his shameless daughters prove to have inherited their father's vast propensity for rather extreme inebriation.

As well as Spot, Barney and India, he has a narcissistic furry savage little cur-poodle called Tony Blair (50), which has formed a disgusting and offensive habit of salivating, sniffing his crotch and humping his leg, whenever.

He once almost choked to death on a pretzel. Should you want to send George any pretzel barrels next Christmas, please forward to:

The First Moron,
Room 666,
The White House,
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue N.W.
Washington DC,
United States of America.

[2,657 letters]


This anagram won an Anagrammy in December 2003 (Special Category).


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