Long Anagram by Richard Grantham

Part of the original press release for the Teletubbies from March 1997.

Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po are the Teletubbies

Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po are the Teletubbies, stars of a major new daily pre-school television show for BBC2 starting on Monday March 31 1997.
A live action series, Teletubbies features four brightly coloured characters who live in a fantasy world linked to reality. BBC Children's Programmes have commissioned Ragdoll Productions (Tots TV, Rosie and Jim) to produce Teletubbies. For the first time BBC Children's Programmes is co-producing a series with BBC Education and BBC Worldwide.
Drawing on months of research with its target audience of two to five year olds, Teletubbies is a major pre-school initiative, which focuses on learning through the joy of play, helping to prepare children for their forthcoming school life. Teletubbies is designed to make children feel confident, relaxed and ready to learn.
Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po live happily together in their own world of childhood fantasy where a baby-faced smiling sun rises each morning, rabbits run over the rolling hills and voice trumpets, which connect them with the real world, name things, count things and sing songs.
Hidden under the hills is the tubbytronic superdome where the Teletubbies sleep and play with the technology that supplies their food, tubby custard and tubby toast. A conscientious comic vacuum cleaner, the Noo-noo, shares their living quarters. A magic windmill brings them pictures of children from the real world and two wooden animals, the Lion and the Bear (with voices by Penelope Keith and Eric Sykes), are friendly faces.
Anna Home, Head of BBC Children Programmes, says: "From the early days of Watch with Mother, through Bill and Ben to Play School, the BBC has always served its very youngest viewers. Teletubbies is an innovative, high quality entertainment programme for today's generation of pre-school children."
Anne Wood, Creative Director of Ragdoll Productions, comments: "We are very proud of Teletubbies, our latest production inspired by the creative world of very young children."
Frank Flynn, Head of Commissioning for BBC Schools, said: "Children, parents and teachers will be able to tune in every week day to this unique BBC collaboration that aims to make learning fun."

The Teletubbies Characters:

Tinky Winky
Tinky Winky is purple and is the largest, gentlest Teletubby. When out walking he likes to sing his own Tinky Winky song.
Tinky Winky loves to dance and fall over on his back. He loves all the Teletubbies very much but he's best friends with Po.

The second largest Teletubby. Dipsy is green and loves to wear his hat as he thinks it gives him style, and style is very important to Dipsy.
He loves all the Teletubbies very much but sets himself apart a bit as he tries to be cool. His special song is "Bup-a-tum, bup-a-tum, bup-a-tum".

The happiest, silliest and second smallest of the Teletubbies, yellow Laa-Laa loves to sing and dance. Her favourite word is 'nice' and Dipsy is her best friend.
She adores her ball and enjoys being outside running, jumping and chasing. She stands pigeon-toed when she is thinking and always needs to know where all the other Teletubbies are and will round them up if one of them goes missing. She has her own special "Laa-laa-li-laa, laa-li-laa-li-laa" song.

Po is red and is the smallest Teletubby. She likes to jump up and down to express her feelings of joy, enthusiasm and surprise.
Po whizzes around the hills on her scooter and likes to keep an eye on the panel of switches and controls on the central column inside the Teletubbies' house. Po likes to sing her special song "Fi-dit, fi-dit, fi-dit!" and "Mar, mar, mar!" which translate from Cantonese as 'faster' and 'slower'.

The Noo-noo
The Noo-noo is a comic vacuum cleaner with a mind of his own who is always found inside the Teletubbies' hill home. The Noo-noo tidies up after the Teletubbies, sucking up spilled custard and tubby toast crumbs with his long, wobbly hose.
Sometimes he is a little over-conscientious and tidies up the Teletubbies' belongings as well. On these occasions a comedy chase occurs until the Noo-noo is persuaded to give them back.

Teletubbyland is full of surprises where elements of animation, pantomime and nursery rhyme are used to magical effects. Magical computerised animation conjures up images of one tap dancing teddy bear, animals marching two by two, three ships, a house with four windows or a tree with five birds.
The large colourful wooden toys, the Lion and the Bear are a comic duo who, in pantomime style are perpetually engaged in a game of hide-and-seek, in and out of the rolling hills of Teletubbyland. The Lion and the Bear are voiced by Penelope Keith and Eric Sykes, and the Teletubbies love to pretend to be frightened of them.




One morning Dipsy came back to the tubbytronic superdome after a fun time chasing the rabbits all over the countryside. He was looking forward to a nice brunch of tubby toast, and possibly some custard too because he just LOVES custard.
Dipsy ambled into the dome, making a beeline for their custard machine. But the incredible view which met his eyes on the way caused him to forget his appetite entirely... The quivering yellow form of Laa-Laa lay spreadeagled on the bed, hand between her fine legs, moaning as she rubbed her moist clitoris and caressed all her inner membranes. She glanced up and was startled by the sight of the astonished Dipsy, tongue lolling a little - she wasn't expecting visitors. But the initial surprise on her face swiftly left, replaced by a lewd smile as she invited Dipsy to come and join her there on the bed. He did not need to be asked twice...

Dipsy grabbed Laa-Laa's pert yellow breasts, which he (along with several million children) suddenly realised he had never noticed before, licking her erect nipples as she cried out in bliss. In no time at all Laa-Laa felt something touching her leg... it was hard as rock, and pulsing a little too. Looking down, Laa-Laa gasped at the immenseness of Dipsy's emerald love pylon - almost invisible in its usual state, but now at least 19 inches of raw tubby masculinity! With impatience borne of sheer inescapable lust Laa-Laa thrust her broad pelvis towards his monstrous phallus, engulfing it with more passion than precision, using ever deeper strokes till she believed she would burst. Laa-Laa cried out from ecstasy as he changed the angle of entry so that his colossal green love cucumber started rubbing directly against her now blueberry-sized clitoris, faster and faster - till an indescribable surge of simultaneous bliss broke over both of them, Dipsy's boner going off like some great cannon inside her.

Pulling out, Dipsy thought it was all over. But Laa-Laa wasn't done with him at all - moving her lips down his chest, then stomach, till she met his crotch. Just as she began fellating, however, Po too ambled into the dome and saw this incredible scene - and Po is never one to miss the opportunity for a jolly nice root, so before you could say "Eh-Oh" she joined Dipsy and Laa-Laa there on the bed.

Po could see Dipsy's crotch required no further attention, so she took the initiative and began rubbing the large aerial atop his cranium instead - it was also 19 inches long now and as rigid as his boner. She pulled herself up onto it, inserting it deep into her scarlet cavern of desire before proceeding to bounce up and down, multiple orgasms racking her little body as she did so. This new thrill made Dipsy come once again, torrents of nice creamy semen bursting free into Laa-Laa's mouth. To her surprise its taste was rather reminiscent of tubby custard.

It was about now that these 3 teletubbies began to wonder where Tinky Winky had been all this time. They didn't need to wonder for long, because he soon strode out from behind the central column of the tubbytronic superdome (from which point the evil little voyeur had been perving on everything), waving a massive purple column of his own. He leapt onto their bed in a spasm of primal fever, before randomly jabbing his blood-swollen boner at an orifice from the surging mass of bodies he could see below him. By sheer chance it turned out to be Dipsy's butt. Dipsy yelled ecstatically as he became the meat in a teletubby sandwich, furiously pummelling Laa-Laa's beaver once more while Tinky Winky's massive cock slid in and out of his rectum. But all of a sudden, Tinky Winky withdrew. Dipsy was sure he must already have come, and was disappointed it was all over so quickly... but Tinky Winky wasn't finished yet. He called the Noo-noo over, then inserted his massive tubbyhood into its hose. On cue the Noo-noo started to suck, and this sensation was unlike anything Tinky Winky had ever felt before. The sight of Tinky Winky yelling out from the sheer power of this new pleasure prompted Laa-Laa to jump off the bed in a frenzy and sit on his face, pulling Po over as she went then burying her own face in her little chum's cherry-red crotch. Not wishing to be left out, Dipsy jumped across too then crammed his cock into Po's eager mouth, while reaching over and tickling the Noo-noo's balls. In no time at all Tinky Winky came with an incredible paroxysm which ricocheted about the circle in a colossal group orgasm - Laa-Laa and Po trembling wildly, Dipsy receiving the po-job of a lifetime - at which point Tinky Winky fainted from the sheer thrill, Laa-Laa and Po blacked out entirely, Dipsy fell drained to the floor, the Noo-noo blew 7 fuses and all five lay unconscious.

N.B. This episode was taped but never screened by BBC2. Complain to tubbypost@bbc.co.uk.

[3,842 letters]

This anagram won an Anagrammy in November 2000 (Special Category).

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