Anagrammy Winners by Jaybur in 2003
All the winning anagrams by Jaybur from the 2003 Anagrammy Awards.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, January 2003:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Anti-War Movement =
Never want to maim.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Stop the War alliance =
Let this weapon-race halt.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2003:
eq.1st - Zoran Radisavlevic and Jaybur (simultaneously) with:
Basra =
Arabs.
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2003:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Woman-hater =
Mean, or what?
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Two Thousand and Three Lingerie Awards =
Those who design and retail that underwear.
LONG CATEGORY, May 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The TRUE Story of The Three Little Pigs (As told by the Wolf)
Today a Wolf took the stand in his own defense. This shocked the media who predicted
he would not testify in the brutal double murder trial. The wolf is accused of killing
(and eating) The First Little Pig and The Second Little Pig. This criminal trial is
expected to be followed by a civil trial to be brought by the surviving Third Little
Pig. The case has been characterized as a media circus.
His testimony is transcribed below:
"Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. Or at least they think
they do. But I'll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story, because
nobody has ever heard my side of the story. I'm Alexander T. Wolf. You can call me Al.
I don't know how this whole Big Bad Wolf thing got started, but it's all wrong. Maybe
it's because of our diet. Hey, it's not my fault wolves eat cute little animals like
bunnies and sheep and pigs. That's just the way we are. If cheeseburgers were cute,
folks would probably think you were Big and Bad too. But like I was saying, the whole
big bad wolf thing is all wrong. The real story is about a sneeze and a cup of sugar.
THIS IS THE REAL STORY.
=
One day, I was baking this nice big blueberry pie to give to a friend, Al Fresco.
I had a ghastly, snitchy cold. There was no sugar left. So I walked down the street to
the neighbors to try and borrow some.
The first neighbor's house was skillfully made of straw! Can you believe it? When
I knocked the door, it fell in. My nose started to itch, and I sneezed a mighty sneeze.
Oh boy! The house blew down into a pile of hay. In the centre of this was a little porker.
Dead. Sorry? Sure. But hell, face it, nobody would miss out on a good dinner. I ate him.
The next house was built of sticks. But then, ATISHOO! It came down just like the
first. So there it was, Second Little Pig, dead. Sadly. But what is a feller to do but eat?
Then I got to the brick place. But that silly Little Pig yelled 'Stay away!' I
thought I'd better leave and turn back. But then the little devil yells out 'Go away!
Get lost, hillbilly!' Well! I got cross. I went ballistic. The cop cars drove up as I
was trying to break down the door.
The rest is history.
The cynical press believed my 'sugar' story was unexciting, and they wrote all that
'huff and puff' rubbish. THEY labelled ME, mister reliable, Big Bad Wolf. Get the picture?
I WAS FRAMED."
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2003:
eq.3rd - Jaybur with:
The scenes-of-crime officer =
Meet force's forensic chief.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The New Olympus Digital Cameras =
Capture the way a model's smiling.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
William Shakespeare, the Bard of Avon =
Methinks I love a word, a phrase, a fable!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2003:
1st - Jaybur with: [A British Telecom advertisement]
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
I'm a falconer.
If only everything was as simple as BT's pricing options.
=
Why is a toucan similar to a phone-user?
Its bill is very large.
Modern company's prospering every day, and debt's fine, if *we* pay.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
Italian Antonio Stradivari =
A violin is an art, a tradition.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, December 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
Charles A. Lindbergh =
Bird has challenger?
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
"I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and I think we ought to codify that one way or another" (George W. Bush) =
I think we need a new law to be encouraging to true mahogany, er, matrimony... and have a good wife to share babies with.
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