Anagrammy Placegetters for February 2001
All the highly-placed anagrams from the February 2001 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Earle Jones with:
Russian roulette =
Retries not usual.
eq.2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
After nine months =
Met her infant son.
eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
Is anagramming addictive? =
I'm a victim; a sad, aging nerd...
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Charles Dickens's 'Oliver Twist' =
The classic writer's kids' novel!
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman go their separate ways. =
Media are drawn to think Scientology's a prime cause.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Disney's 'Mary Poppins' with Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke =
Hi, kids! A super, madcap, windswept nanny: Kids enjoy devilry!
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Tom Myers with:
Israel: Sharon versus Barak =
Real risk! Has Arabs nervous!
2nd - David Bourke with:
Foot-and-Mouth Disease spreads in Great Britain... ~
Dead beasts in a pit - a ruined farmer's soon got hit.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Now thousands of farm animals are slaughtered =
Ugh! warn all farms foot-and-mouth disease's near.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Snow White's Nasty Adventures', The X-Rated Video =
Sexy tart does in-and-out with the seven dwarves!
2nd - Tom Myers with:
A typical male thought process =
A hot phallic car to get me pussy.
3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
I am sitting on the toilet =
I meant to let go shit in it.
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The program includes: BONUS AMAZING FAT ABSORBER CAPSULES, THE
30-DAY WEIGHT REDUCTION PLAN, PROGRESS REPORT, AND MUCH MORE!!!
=
Spammer! Spammer! not so bright,
Zero, dog-dung, scrap of shite,
Churns out pretense bawling "BUY!!!!" -
Hear our call: Eat crap and die!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
vibrators,
stimulators,
bondage fantasy,
lotions & oils,
videos & dvds,
erotic clothing,
pleasure kits,
toys for men & women.
=
bits of dirt,
filthy cat,
naked-moron pics,
stale mayo,
'Survivor' videos,
grannie's undies,
Worst Motto balloons,
Lego sets.
eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:
HOW TO TURN $6 INTO $6,000!! OR MUCH MORE!! =
Her motor-mouth in court now.
eq.3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Nymphomaniacs Out of Control
Hardcore Adult Action
Live instant XXX action is right HERE
=
Hi!
Having to coax cash from horny, stupid man?
Learn to extract a lot.
I do excel in instruction.
THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
T E S T I M O N I A L S *******
2nd - David Bourke with:
INCREASE the size of your breasts!
100% Satisfaction Guaranteed !!!
This revolutionary product has been used by thousands of women
in Europe.
Kept secret by top models, now available to anyone who wants to
improve their bust size.
This unique formula will make your breasts fuller and firmer.
"Thank you for this product. After just one week I could feel my bra tighten. It has now been 6 weeks and my bust size has increased 1.75 inches. My bust even looks healthier than my sister's, and she had breast implants. Thanks again." - Sally, Utah
We receive letters like this everyday - yours could be next.
Visit our Web Site at:
http://www.geocities.com/lookgreat2110
If our Web site is unavailable please call 1-316-262-4144.
To be removed from future mailings please click on the line below
and hit send.
mailto:nottoday13@hotmail.com
=
Hi! Tiny 31"/32" tits? Pack two weeny fried eggs?
- Try new unique 'Bazonga-Buster' - I bet you will need a heavy-duty
industrial over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder! Your new enormous
Double-E size wobbly whoppers will look like a dead-heat in a
Zeppelin race!
See a 10-11% increase a day! 10-11!
As used by the vastest of the vast:
- "Shee-it!! It seems ah now need a couple of tarpaulin sheets to cover mah little ole creamy milkchurns!" - Dolly Parton
- "Blimey, mate! 41"... 42"... 46"... 52"... 66"... me massive top-bollocks, they just carry on fuckin' growin', dahn't yer fink, eh?" - Barbara Windsor
- "I have such famous stacks now! Marvellous mammaries...70" stunners, dahling! Feel it!" - Lolo Ferrari
- "That IS nice! Now me breasts stretch out onto pages two and four, see!" - Samantha Fox
Be keen! Bust out, OK! It's time - visit the website this instant:
beautifulbristols@acefinetitties.com
3rd - Larry Brash with:
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!!
PIANO OWNERS - we offer a patented device that sits on your piano keyboard and allows you to play the piano immediately!!
For more detailed information click pianostick@excite.com type more info in the subject line! If we have reached you in error and you would like to be removed from our mailing list collinsus.com
=
Fuck me dead! You're a fool! What a load of old crap!
I believe it takes years to learn how to play piano, never in
six minutes with some silly gimmick.
First, will it teach me how to read music? No, stupid.
Let you learn tempo (i.e. be on cue)? Sorry, no, you dill!
Play Beethoven's Concerto in B Major in one day? Can it cope?
No, I feel it is an error, moron!
I'd be fucked if it did.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
WOMEN
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart; knowing that knowledge is power. But know how
to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and
themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the
loss of a family member, even when it is an in-law.
They are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They can drive
you wild, would fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much
they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They
give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to those around
them.
And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the
same to people for whom you care.
MEN
Men are good at lifting heavy things and fixing stuff.
=
MEN
I'm proud to be a man. Men run this whole planet, you know, holding
positions of power throughout the world. That's just how it is,
honey.
Men have on average a higher level of intelligence than women. Men will always obtain higher marks in domains such as chemistry, physics and the higher reaches of mathematics. The most amazing feats of engineering and very finest works of art in the world were made by men, you know, and it was men who invented most of the torrent of handy products that we rely upon today.
Men are endowed with the most fabulous set of genitals. I know I am, anyway.
We're huger, faster, fitter, more physically powerful, and not held to ransom by our hormones; we have the ability to park, always achieve orgasm, have firm butts, look sexy in Lamborghinis, write better jokes, and then after all of that we have the civility to die at a reasonable age.
WOMEN
Women look good naked and they're fun to shag.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Once
more unto the breach, dear friends, once more
3rd - Jaybur with:
Martine McCutcheon
Catherine Zeta Douglas
Madonna
Kate Winslet
Jennifer Lopez
Davina McCall
Sophie Dahl
Isabella Rossellini
Geri Halliwell
Elle McPherson
=
Hello!
A dull, chapped, camel face.
Wrinkles... and acne, too.
Nineteen zits.
Massive chins.
Horrible jowls.
Hair in an armpit.
Damn cellulite.
Llama legs... NOT gazelle.
Cheerio!
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
eq.1st - Larry Brash with:
Antonio Stradivarius of Cremona, Italy =
Famous or rare violins in an attic today?
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with: [An 18th century composer]
Giovanni Pergolesi =
I love opera singing!
3rd - David Bourke with:
Ariel Sharon =
Oh, ran Israel?
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Richard Brodie with:
The Palestine Liberation Organization =
Eager to ban, to annihilate, Zionist peril!
2nd - Jaybur with:
The Savoy Hotel =
Oh! love the stay!
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Where do I find "The Lost Mine"? =
It's in the middle of nowhere!
THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Did you know only these three motion pictures won the five most valuable and prestigious Academy Awards? =
'It Happened One Night': Mousy runaway heiress (diva Claudette Colbert) soaks a wonderful movie's witty mood.
'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest': Wild guy tries to start a mutiny in a madhouse. Movie is hard and bawdy, people!
'The Silence of the Lambs': A murderous, devouring Lecter (Hopkins) dupes a woody SWAT team on a way to divinity.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Five reasons why I ought to win the Set Category in the Anagrammy Awards =
One: I've near most of the swag. I'm wanting to try share with a heady, saucy RG.
Two: I am an utter narcissist and I want fame everywhere. Yo, go shag thy hog!
Three: I'm an anagram genius. Why vote for it? I say "Great codes", now that's why.
Four: I organise the show, that's why. More aggrandisement etc. Vanity away!
Five: Why? I'm a great guy, that's why. Modest, too. Arrogant ass! Hence, I earn win.
3rd - David Bourke with:
A list of just five of the most gruesome tyrants, evil dictators and bloodthirsty despots of all the twentieth century: =
1. Adolf Hitler: O-T-T nut. Strived to rid Germany of the last Jews by the Holocaust. One testis. "Mist!" - Very pissed-off total cunt.
2. Josef Stalin: It's that little Soviet cult nutter - got covered with the red bloodspot off of many Russian mystery deaths.
3. Slobodan Milosevic: The fatty's thieves enjoyed murdering Croats (tut tut!). If he lost power, still that dotty naff tosser.
4. Saddam Hussein: Oft set out for victory by his Jihad against West, lost most utterly. Don't let the little pervert off once.
5. Margaret Thatcher - Feisty old trout. Testy toff. Destroyed Malvinas ship just to win election. Loves self, doubt this not.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Auto
Wreck
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
George
Meredith: Love in the Valley
3rd - Mike Keith with:
Apt,
Not Hidden, Tale (For a Minor) -- Lewis C.
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