Anagrammy Placegetters for November 2002
All the highly-placed anagrams from the November 2002 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
The womaniser =
It's how men are...
2nd - Allan Morley with:
Practise what you preach =
Chap was a true hypocrite.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Last-Minute =
Nuts! I'm late.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - David A. Green with:
'Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones' =
As art, it's a shit piece of adolescent work.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Chamber Orchestras =
Restore Bach's charm.
3rd - Jaybur with:
William Shakespeare's tragic 'Venus and Adonis' =
Alas, tears! Spurning a wan, lovesick maid, he dies.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Ghud Sariffian with:
The fasting period Ramadan =
Adopt this arranged famine.
2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Saddam accepts UN resolution =
Do a mass destruction cleanup.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The UN Weapons Inspectors =
We search opponent's units.
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Dean Mayer with:
Husband and wife =
Fun was had in bed.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Child molester =
Old Mister Lech.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Blonde-haired =
Laid on her bed!
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Don't get left behind. Don't let your computer go to waste. With *FREE* computer learning from Video Professor, you can get the skills you need to succeed. Whether you need office skills to get a new job or promotion, or simply want to help the kids with their homework or organize the family budget, Video Professor has the lesson just for you.
It's FAST! You'll be up-and-running in an hour or less! Don't waste time sifting through those big, thick manuals. Commuting to classes or seminars is a waste of your time and money. Just pop in the CD-ROM and you're learning! It's EASY!
=
Do you feel ridiculously idiotic? Do friends often name you 'That Moron'? Then you MUST visit the Forrest Gump School for Slack-Jawed Yokels!!!
Only HERE can the young twits and idiots:
* Get straw-chewing tips!
* Sign for the groundbreaking 'Hi, My Name Is Forrest Gump, People Call Me Forrest Gump' seminar!
* Be a part of The Forrest Gump Theatre hit-show, "When Life Gives You Lemons"!
* Wear stupid little beanies and snooze all day!
No books! No homeworks! No studying! No teeth! Join the ultimate Forrest Gump courses *TODAY* - The tuition here is just two roosters and one corn cob!!!
2nd - Paul Pan with:
Escort Services In China
I am the broker of many manyfantastic girls in China. Any foreigners who wants to enjoy unexpected sex escort services in China is warmly welcomed to contact me for help . As well , we have special sex trip in Dongguan designed for high upscale gentlemen. We could arrange our escort services in Dongguan, Guangzhou and Shenzhen. Contact: gionvia@hotmail.com
=
On their wedding night, Xiang, a snot-face scraggy Chinese restaurateur, invites his compact 'n' georgeous wife Jin Zan to choose what games to play. In carnal awe, she replies "Most venerable and eclectic one, me wish sixty-nine." Confused, he wonders "Mrs, your vulva desire 'n' command... the fragrant Szechuan Garlic Pork?"
Gag's non-PC climax:
How often do "elections" occur in China?
"Evely molning"!
3rd - Pedt Scragg with:
Do you want Financial Freedom?
Do you want to Save Money on advertising?
Are you ready to use the techniques that have been used by Master Internet Marketers over the last 5 years to sell hundreds of thousands of dollars in products and services?
Then Proven Internet Marketing Techniques is the book you need to read immediately. In it you will be shown exactly what the Masters do and how they do it to Guarantee them Results....................
http://www.pureprofit.co.za
Enjoy,
Carlos
PureProfit
=
Right. Are you listening carefully? Try this.
I am an undeterred purveyor of an overstressed way you can have money off the Internet which I think is clever but is a dreaded, dratted, scam.
So what happens next? You've requested a book from me at my attendant cost - those dollars I demand as dosh on a web page. Now, what are you sure happens now?
Correct! It will then tell you to squeeze money in turn from your own, adjusted, site on the internet, to tell those 5 persuaded to visit, the book's "it".
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2001 Winners:
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
=
Here is that same rather witty idea applied instead to a series of renowned artworks, essential texts, movies and so on:
The Moana Lisa: Italian painting of a cute lady with an enigmatic pout.
The Drapes of Wrath: A destitute family that seeks an easy fortune in a Californian curtain factory, only to have their dreams shattered.
Lord of the Fries: 100 shipwrecked teenage McDonald's employees instantly deteriorate into nasty savagery in their uncivilized struggle to be made Ronald.
The "Erotica" Symphony: Beethoven's truly stirring salute to Napoleon's thoroughly kinky sexual exploits.
Moby Duck: A gritty warrior on the high seas hunting for the great white mallard.
Finnegans Cake: Witty, highly original stream-of-consciousness book of labyrinthine internal speculation about a petit four.
Se2en: Idiosyncratic serial killer is apprehended, sentenced and put away before he gets going properly.
Unflowers: Van Gogh painting of a totally bare vase.
Lice in Wonderland: The White Rabbit is found to be hideously infested and has to be put down.
2nd - Paul Pan with:
Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2001 Winners:
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
=
"The Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Gunsmiths": Adam Smith & Wesson spearhead the foundations of armaments. Resolves all inside hard issues pertaining to yataghans and bayonets.
"Star Revolutions": Gyorgy Lucas' opus portrays the defiant struggle against intergalactic imperialism; he deplores the exploitation of the inept by the inapt and vice versa.
"The Elephant Thief": Indian Vittorio de Sikh's weepy fifties B&W Hindu Bollywood allegory.
"A Critic of Kryptonian Reason": Clark Kant's über-being planetary guide to aid the ailing Free World.
"Uncle Godot's Cabin": Daring Samuel Becket Stowe wrote an offhand, irrational and zany report on slavery.
"Kim il Song": Chick Korea's noteworthy if untuneful two-penny operetta. He hails an inane tribute to the late deified hood. Yawn.
"Twelve Little Disciples" Erudite Agatha Christo's heathenish religious idea allegory.
"Tom Soya": Mark Taiwan's witty reflection defended oriental gluttony.
"Auction on the Orient Express": An extraordinary note penned by Sotheby Christie, master of mystery bargains.
3rd - Allan Morley with:
Hickory dickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down.
Hickory dickory dock.
=
Kinky cockroach skulked up chronometer.
So why did kinky cockroach scuttle?
Theory: chronometer did cuckoo!
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Mattias Inghe with:
Age should claim ~
Michael Douglas.
2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
US grandmaster Robert James Fischer =
Surrender after major chess gambits.
3rd - David A. Green with:
The natural history filmmaker David Attenborough =
Rather adored in the UK for my light TV about animals.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Ghud Sariffian with:
The Chilean dictatorship =
Pinochet hit the radicals.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Auctions in 'eBay' =
I can buy on a site!
3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Department of Homeland Security =
They fund, arm modern police state.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
A paraphrase of the 23rd Psalm in which each line is an anagram, constructed such that the six lines may be assembled into a symbol associated with the psalm's author.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A verse of a poem by Oscar Wilde, anagrammed into a paraphrase which is also an acrostic square on the author's name.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Chopping Carrots by Jack Cannon
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