Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2002
All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 2002 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Electro-Convulsive Therapy =
Pray the volts cure violence.
2nd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
Nuclear reactor =
An ulcer creator.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Opinionated =
Idea on point.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The 'William Tell' Overture by Gioacchino Rossini =
It is lively hero music with a cool Lone Ranger bit.
2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The singer Christina Aguilera =
Rich girl generates a hit in USA!
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Writer C. Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" =
Miser and worker Cratchit classic.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
O Little Town of Bethlehem =
No hotel to befit them well.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus =
Hot Tip: Nurse's touch may cause critical illness.
3rd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
United Airlines =
'Ruined' isn't a lie!
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Paul Pan with:
Genital piercing =
Get a nice lip-ring.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The transsexual =
Axe her nuts last.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A menstrual flow =
Raw smell of tuna.
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Safe Sex Shell + Condom = Total Protection
The Safe Sex Shell is a circular plastic shell with a protrusive hole on the center. See http://www.sexsafe.biz
This product is to be used in combination with a condom. The protrusion wraps around the mouth of the condom, holding securely in place, thereby reducing the likelihood of it falling off.
Whereas condoms only cover parts of the penis from contact with body fluids, the shell joins together with the condom to protect the entire penis and surrounding areas, further eliminating the risk of contagion. The protrusion also produces a tension around the penis, reducing the blood flow and increasing the duration of erection.
The small protrusions around the center protrusion touch the female, let her feel more happy.
The Safe Sex Shell is invented by Mr. Lin Hua and got patent. Mr. Lin Hua wishes to cooperate with you to promote the product to world. If you are interested in the product, you can contact linhua@ustc.edu
=
Dear Mr Hua
I'm writing to complain about your product, the gizmo that one puts on one's erect penis to keep the condom on, less I end up with STD, and, if we do screw, so I can thrill the girlfriend. The Sex Shell thing...
True, it has worked just as you said, as we both had fine sex, until a few unexpected side effects occurred. The main one is I can't get the shell off!
It's been on for four months. I've managed to cut a hole in the french letter so I can finally have a piss. However, I got this chronic priapism, one permanent erection, an chronic boner, one constant hardon, the total opposite to erectile impotence. The head and whole length of the shaft's this purple colour, hot, and seriously hurts. I'm worried it could turn out to be my old penis, not the condom, that will drop off! The stench's totally putrid (people are now recoiling).
Truth is I'm hopelessly stuffed.
Should I see an expert doctor, a clinic or the urology hospital or not?
How about a return, refund or court costs?
Larry 'Eunuch' Brash
2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
If you do not wish to receive this e-mail in the future, kindly reply to this e-mail with 'Unsubscribe' written as the subject.
=
This shit is terribly stupid - your fiftieth unwanted abusive note, bitch! Cancel me without one more, jerk site! Why? I'll sue!
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
Luke 2:10-14
2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Luke 2:10-14
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
President George 'Dubya' Bush =
Beyond a sheer stupid bugger.
2nd - Ahmad Sadali Ramli with:
Carmen Sandiego =
Crime's on agenda.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Italian doctor Severino Antinori =
Revision on traditional creation.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Mattias Inghe with:
Capitol Hill =
Politic hall.
2nd - Jaybur with:
The Olympus Digital Camera =
Oh my, captured a still image!
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Anti-Terror Police =
Airline protector.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Henry Sambrooke
Leigh: The Twins
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Dear Brash,
I am barrister Godwin Ezechukwua solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr David Brash, who used to work with shell development company in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my client.
On the 21st of April 1999, my client, his wife And their three children were involved in a car accident along sagbama express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful.
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confisicated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged. particularly, the New Nigeria Bank (NNB) Plc where the deceased had an account valued at about 10million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated.
Since i have been unsuccesfull in locating the the relatives for over 2 years now i seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at 10million dollars can be paid to you and then you and i can share the money. I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this dealt through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Please reply me by this email address:ezechukwu_godwin@hotmail.com for security to enable us discuss further.
Best regards, Godwin Ezechukwu (esq)
=
Dearest Counsellor Ezechukwu
It's with great sadness and shock that I received your news about my much beloved Uncle David and family's deaths. I'd long wondered why I had not had news from him these last three years but I had no idea that he and the family had met such a tragic end.
How I'll miss Uncle and his quite lovely creative wife, Kathy, and beautiful teenage children Anna and Aaron and lovely baby Erica. I can only hope that their terrible deaths were swift and painless.
Uncle David often spoke of the trip to Nigeria in his letters to me, as his nephew (one only living relative). As you may know, he travelled there excitedly to secure the large amount of money that had been offered to him in the email from the Royal Family of Chief Soebo killed during a coup.
We were puzzled and it concerned us that it was a sort of scam and tried to talk Uncle out of taking his family to your beauteous country, but your reliable news confirms that he received the money and that his decision was the correct one. Uncle also spoke at great length of the great honesty of the peaceful Nigerian people, in particular the respectable, impeccable lawyers and his obvious trust in them. Your most agreeable email proves that this trust was correctly placed.
Your kind gift of all these millions of dollars exceeds all expectations. It occurs at a very providential time. I have been quite down on my luck, have no assets, am about to be evicted, and, in essence, become homeless. Hence, under the current circumstances I require that you can post me, at once, an urgent electronic advance to cure the pressing overheads that have been troubling me recently, to cover all court case costs, reasonable retainer and search fees, special taxes, various incidentals, etc.
Please excuse my haste,
Sincere best wishes,
Peace,
Larry Brash.
3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Dunciad Variorum
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