Anagrammy Placegetters for December 2006
All the highly-placed anagrams from the December 2006 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Oral contraceptive =
I can protect a lover.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The cigarette company =
I pay them to get cancer.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
An adolescent =
Note lad's acne!
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
Paris in the springtime ~
might inspire painters.
2nd - Scott Gardner with:
Gaston Leroux's "The Phantom of the Opera" =
Oh, ghost to haunt expert female soprano!
eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:
A Christmas Carol. The story by Charles Dickens =
Boss-character lacks charity, then? Miserly sod!
eq 3rd - Larry Brash with:
The late actor Humphrey DeForest Bogart =
Best role for me? Act tough hard-heart type.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
The Queen's Annual Christmas Day Broadcasts =
She's quite a lady, but transcends as a monarch.
eq2nd - David Bourke with:
General Pinochet is dead =
A Chilean's ego-trip ended.
eq2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Farts forced the American Airlines plane to land =
Match lit after inferno in arse scared planeload.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Rick with:
U.S. Secretary of Defense, Robert Michael Gates =
Rumsfeld's career? A fiasco! Better yet, he's gone!
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The President of Russia =
Sheer disaster of Putin!
3rd - Dan Fortier with:
It's dopey Bush =
Boy, he's stupid.
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
The Anagram Artist Windows Software =
Ah, it was so swift at word arrangement!
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Old Testament's ~
themes tend to last.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Seattle Airport =
A pilot's retreat.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Are 'conspiracy theories' on Princess Diana's death true? =
'No, as she perished in a routine car accident,' says report.
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus
Lay down his sweet head =
After a tired new mother's journey, a holy babe laid in swaddling clothes awes
eq3rd - David Bourke with:
The Democrats' American Presidential candidate, Hillary Rodham Clinton =
A cold militant dictator...hence her old man's a dirty amnesiac philanderer!
eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Royal New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals =
Yes, plenty of men loved a certain lot of creatures... in the horizontal way.
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
=
Tom Lehrer made us swoon,
Rearranging a Christmas tune.
He beheld the haughty greed,
What they buy, I do not need.
Lying market survey ploys,
Alas, kindhearted giving us toys.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
=
Hey, heed a Santa at the mall,
Spooking minors big and small.
He's a groggy, eerie brute;
That's gravy on the guy's red suit!
When to them he'd turn his eye,
Every kid would run and cry!
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
=
Away in a manger,
Not a crib as a bed,
The very young lord Hesus
Truly turned his head.
The pets - they try moving,
The minor awakes.
Yet, delighted lord Hesus
No gurgling he makes.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
ONIONS AND XMAS TREES
The family are sitting at the meal table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
Father, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well, Chuck, there are 3 kinds of breasts.
In her 20's, a woman's breasts are like ripe melons; lush, firm and well-rounded.
In her 30's and 40's they are like pears: still nice, although hanging a bit.
After her 50's, they are like, well ... onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
=
These inane remarks annoy his wife and daughter, so the daughter asks, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
Her mother smiles serenely and answers, "Well Penny, a man goes through 3 key phases.
In his 20's, his willy's like a fine oak tree; knotty, noble and so hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it's a serene birch; lean, flexible, but usable
After 50, it's like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
2nd - Larry Brash with:
These are actual notes from Doctors patient charts...
"Patient has a chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."
"On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."
"She has had no more rigors or chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."
"Patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed."
"Discharge status: Alive but without permission."
"Patient has been depressed ever since he started seeing me in 1993."
"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."
"Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."
"Patient just had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
"Between you and me, we ought to be able to make your lady pregnant."
"Since she cannot get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might want to work her up."
"Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid."
"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."
"A pelvic exam will be done later on the floor."
=
"Healthy appearing, decrepit, ninety eight year old. Mentally alert, but forgetful."
"When checking signs, she was numb from her toes down."
"She was examined that night, X-rated and sent home."
"Her skin's appearance was moist and dry."
"She was alert and deeply unresponsive."
"She has been constipated for all of her life, until she had a divorce."
"I assessed the patient, who's still under your car for physical therapy."
"Breasts - both equal and reactive to light and accommodation."
"Exam of the genitalia reveals that his penis is circus sized."
"The lab test detected abnormal lover functioning."
"The patient hoped to have a bowel resection. He took a job as a lawyer instead."
"Skin: rather pale but present."
"The patient was seen in consultation by Dr. G. Parker, who felt we should sit on her abdomen, and I agree and accept."
"Large brown stool ambulating in the corridor."
"The staff say that she has three teenage children, but no other abnormalities."
"The patient refused any autopsy."
"The patient has not any past history of suicides."
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Interviewer: First on the show, we've got a man who speaks entirely in anagrams.
Man: Taht si crreoct.
Interviewer: Do you enjoy it?
Man: I stom certainly od. Revy chum so.
Interviewer: And I believe you're working on an anagram version of Shakespeare?
Man: Sey, sey - taht si crreoct, er - ta the mnemot I'm wroking on The Mating of the Wersh.
Interviewer: The Mating of the Wersh? By William Shakespeare?
Man: Nay, by Malliwi Rapesheake.
Interviewer: And what else?
Man: Two Netlemeng of Verona, Twelfth Thing, The Chamrent of Venice.
Interviewer: Have you done Hamlet?
Man: Thamle. Be ot or bot ne ot, tath is the nestquoi.
Interviewer: And what is your next project?
Man: Ring Kichard the Thrid.
Interviewer: I'm sorry?
Man: A shroe! A shroe! My dingkom for a shroe!
Interviewer: Ah, Ring Kichard, yes. But surely that's not an anagram, that's a spoonerism.
=
The Anagrammy Forum regulars (or occasional posters):
First we've got Larry Brash. Then there's Tony Crafter, Rosie Perera, Horrid Stretchy Pus (aka Chris Sturdy), David Bourke, Meyran Kraus, Paul Pan, Mike Keith, Dan Fortier, Andrew, Don Rogers, Rick Rothstein, Mike Mesterton-Gibbons, View, aussie battler, ....
We like to invent jovial anagram jokes involving Monty Python, Iraq, George W & Tony, sex, movie and television stars, entertainment, faith, crime victims, memorable verses, inanity, what is in the news (whether newsworthy or not), Christmas, athletics, effeminate minority men, rainy weather, meteorite information, wine, ....
We'll anagram whatever, whenever, however -- i.e., anytime, anywhere, any way we can. One time in the month, we vote on a nominee nominated in the month to give an award to. What a great game, eh? Heh, heh, heh, heh!
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Twas The Night Before Christmas
2nd - David Bourke with:
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
HAPPY XMAS (WAR IS OVER)
THE RUDE CATEGORY
eq1st - Andrew with:
Pornographic flick =
Girl on prick of chap.
eq1st - View with:
Penis enhancement surgeries =
Nurse, get me spare nine inches!
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Taking it up the arse =
That is a Greek input.
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