Anagrammy Placegetters for June 2007
All the highly-placed anagrams from the June 2007 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Breastfeeding in public places =
Presenting babies a filled C-cup!
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Chemical castration of paedophiles =
It can help calm desire of a sociopath.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Monastery life =
I try no females.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Last novel of the Harry Potter series =
Her 'Part Seven' of a little hero's story.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
Casino + three + ten =
"Ocean's Thirteen".
3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road =
Shalt thou feel good to speed in a Ferrari car?
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
Sunrise at Stonehenge =
See the season turning.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
Salman Rushdie is knighted =
Islam and Kurdish seething.
Eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Paris Hilton Free =
Left prison, I hear.
Eq.3rd - Neil Ramsay with:
Tony Blairs last day in power =
Today, Brown's plan is reality!
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The CNN interviewer Larry King =
Wrinkly thing can never retire.
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Vladimir Putin, George Bush and Tony Blair =
Main Soviet, blurry dope and laughing Brit.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Lewis Hamilton =
Me? I won all this?
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
London Olympic Games =
Simply condemn a logo?
Eq.2nd - Paul Pan with:
Her orbs wanted ~
the Wonderbras.
Eq.2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The London Olympic Games =
Only champions meet gold.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The ABC network says it had chosen to find a new title for the show "Sam I Am" due to a threat it recieved, written by Dr. Seuss lawyers =
That letter stated: "We forbid it on the air. We forbid it everywhere. Ditch that name and show some class, we can sue your stinky ass!"
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
"The Social Norm of Leaving the Toilet Seat Down: A Game Theoretic Analysis" =
FORMAL NOTICE: Actively aiming that wee shot on the loo seat angers ladies.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The late Diana, The Princess of Wales - those pictures of her last moments. =
Let news-editors accept that photos of her final minutes are shameless.
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
America
by Samuel F. Smith
My country, 'tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
=
The Divide
Prince Charles
God bless my noble mum,
Defend my tender mum, long may she rule;
I'm far too daft to reign,
It is a royal pain,
I'd rather settle free of strife
With my fine, shy wife!
2nd - David Bourke with:
America
by Samuel F. Smith
My country, 'tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
=
I'd die for mighty Scotland,
My fiery, haggis-fueled land,
Of Robert Burns fame...
Tartan, fifes, Simple Minds,
Unemployment, thrift,
Distilleries everywhere...
Wee dram time? Och aye the noo!
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
America
by Samuel F. Smith
My country, 'tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
=
Me, Me and Me
by Yours Truly
**Fanfare**
I love Me. I really do.
Wow!
I'm effortlessly perfect.
I'm different. I'm grand.
I built and finished Earth.
My Son is Christ,
The Greatest Hope.
I'm God.
The End.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house. Afterwards, the ladies went into the kitchen and Bob, one of the men, said, "We tried an excellent restaurant last night, I would recommend it."
"What is the name?" said the other man.
Bob thought deeply and said, "Just a minute ... what's that flower you give a girl? ... it's red and, um, thorny."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it," he replied, then turned to the kitchen and called, "Rose! What's the name of that restaurant we visited last night?"
=
The couple in the well-lit restaurant had eaten dinner and the waiter was attentively pouring them a third glass of white wine. As he tilted their bottle, he noticed the gentleman suddenly slide off his chair and disappear.
So, not wanting to attract undue attention, the waiter remarked conversationally to the lady, "Excuse me madam, it seems your husband is under the table."
"Oh, no he's not," retorted the ashen-faced woman. "My husband has just walked through the door!"
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
An Englishman walks into his local pub with a cat and an emu by his side.
When he gets into the bar he orders a pint of lager for himself, a soft drink for the big emu and a drink of gin and tonic for the cat.
As the barmaid reaches her hand out for the money, the cat starts yelling, "Hey, you! Give him the check and get me another drink of gin and tonic!"
This goes on a few rounds. The barmaid, wondering what the heck is going on, approaches the man and asks him.
"I don't think you'll ever believe me," he says, sadly. "But you're sure to get a laugh out of this story anyway."
"I was out taking my dog for a little walk this morning when I found this little genie stuck in a huge cobweb. I helped him out and cleaned all of the gunky cobwebs off him. Before he disappeared into a puff of thin air, he granted me my wish."
"And what was your wish?" asked the barmaid.
"I asked for a bird with very long legs and a tight little pussy."
=
Two mates are out playing a golf match at Buckingham when, whilst halfway up the twelfth fairway, one asked his friend if he had a light.
"I sure do," and brings out a new twelve inch phallic Bic lighter.
"Wow!" said his friend, "Where'd you get that?"
"From my genie."
"You have your own genie?" he asked.
"Yeah, right here in my bag."
"Can I see him?"
He opens his tartan golf bag and a ratty genie sprang loose.
The friend says, "Hi, can you grant me a wish?"
"No problem," retorted the genie.
The man asks for million bucks. The genie hops back off into the bag and, agitated, the man waits on his return.
Suddenly, the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard.
Dumbfounded, the friend affronts his mate, "But I asked for a million bucks not ducks!"
His mate hoots, "Oops, I forgot to tell you something important - his drawback. He's hard at hearing. Do you really think that I wanted a twelve inch Bic?"
3rd - Adie Pena with:
A Brit, a Scot and a Filipino, all hopelessly loveless, are in a bar having a drink when this hottest shapely lady comes up to them and says, "Hey! Whoever uses the words LIVER and CHEESE stylishly in a sentence can have gorgeous me for the entire night."
~
The Brit says, "I love LIVER and CHEESE." She replies, "Hmm... banal and trashy; that's not good enough!"
The Scot says, "I hate LIVER and CHEESE." She responds, "That's awkwardly worn, pal... not creative enough!"
Finally, the Filipino says, "Guys, LIVER alone, CHEESE mine!"
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Superscription
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Candle in the Wind
3rd - David Bourke with:
My Favorite Things
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A female porno star on film =
Performs fellatio on a man.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
A lesbian with a lethal lisp ~
is what I'll label a thespian.
3rd - David Bourke with:
The Canadian male prostitute Jeffrey Chevalier =
An oil chief ejaculated in my fat arse, the pervert!
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