Anagrammy Placegetters for August 2011

All the highly-placed anagrams from the August 2011 Anagrammy Awards.

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THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Obama, current leader of the United States =
Another term's fate is unclear due to a debt.

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Commercial Boeing planes =
Nice cabins, ample leg-room.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
The British Riots =
This is it, brother!

3rd - David Bourke with:
The African crested rat (Lophiomys imhausi) =
A critter has made his fur poison, they claim!

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
At an auction of art in Kinloch, a wealthy German lost a case containing over £225,000 in cash.

He told the fellow bidders he'd give ~ £200 as a single reward to anyone who handed it in intact.

From the back of the large hall, a Scottish voice announced, 'I'll give £250.'

2nd - Harshal M. with:
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" by author J.K. Rowling =
The jolly Hogwarts orphan has returned property in this book.

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent." - Poet Carl Sandburg =
A wise saying here, yet I found undeniably inconvenient truth: Other people will allot this once basic commodity for you!

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde. =
One's reflection-love, I'm warned, can be a telling sign of foolish ego.

[An ambigram of the anagram text]

2nd - Larry Brash with:
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde =
I will be having ongoing endless affection for one real close to me.

3rd - Anonmyous with:
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde. =
Feeling his own beloved groin isn't real affection! Go call someone!!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
THE TOP TEN GREATEST BRITONS OF ALL TIME
(As voted by the people of Britain)

1. Sir Winston Churchill
2. Isambard Kingdom Brunel
3. Diana, Princess of Wales
4. Charles Darwin
5. William Shakespeare.
6. Sir Isaac Newton
7. Queen Elizabeth I
8. John Lennon
9. Horatio Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson
10. Oliver Cromwell
=
1. Bullish World War II Prime Minister. Beat Nazis.
2. Skillful Victorian engineer.
3. Queen of British Hearts.
4. The Creation is Evolution!
5. He penned plays and sonnets.
6. Maths and science know-all!
7. Virgin monarch.
8. Beatle, fell to loner assassin.
9. He came to blows with Napoleon.
10. Job was 'Lord Protector'.

eq2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Roland the Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip.

Roland hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since he was learning Spanish, of course Roland asked the guide to speak to him only in Spanish and correct any mistakes of usage.

They were hiking together on a mountain trail, when a very large purple and blue-coloured fly crossed their path.
~
The Englishman appraised the fly, pointing upwards with his new fishing rod in his hands, offering a phrase in broken Spanish, "Mira...el...mosca."

The relentless guide, turning the error into an honest opportunity to show proper language skills, chided, "No, señor, 'la mosca' es feminina."

Roland looked at the guide, then back at the fly, and said, "You have spectacular eyesight!"

eq2nd - nedesto with:
"Well, Sister Anna, are you putting on weight?" asked Father David during a visit to the convent, seeing that her stomach was bulging.

"Why, no" she answered, "It's really just a bit of gas."

Three months later Father David put the question to her again, noticing her habit barely fit aross her belly now. =

"What? No, I just have the gas." said the big fat Sister Anna, quietly blushing.

On yet another visit to the nunnery somewhat later, Father David was going down the corridor when he passed Sister Anna wheeling a baby carriage.

Looking in, the thoughtful priest observed smartly, "Cute little fart!"

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
Aoi Sorawa

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
CURTAIN RODS

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had all her things collected by the removal company.

On the third day, she sat down for the very last time at their beautiful teak dining-room table. She put on some soothing background music, and feasted by candlelight on a plate of shrimps, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left the house.

On the fourth day, the husband moved in with his new girlfriend, and at first it was all blissful harmony.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the whole house.

The vents were thoroughly checked for dead rodents, and all the carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to fumigate the whole house, during which time the two lovers had to move out for several days. They even paid to have the expensive wool carpeting replaced. But nothing they tried worked. The house still reeked.

Suddenly, people stopped coming to call.

Repairmen refused to do any work in the house.

The maid quit.
~
In the end, they could bear the stench no longer, and decided they had to move. But a month later - even though they'd cut the price in half - they still couldn't find a buyer for such a smelly house.

Word began to spread, and in time even the local realtors refused to visit or return their calls.

Unable to wait a moment longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a vast sum of money from the bank in order to purchase a new place.

Then the ex-wife called the man and asked him how things were progressing. He told her the grim story of the stinking house. She listened quietly and replied that she was missing her old home terribly and would even be prepared to reduce her final divorce settlement in exchange for having the house she loved.

Knowing that she could have no possible idea of how disgusting this smell was, he accepted her offer and settled on a sale figure that was a tenth of what the house had initially been priced at ... but only if she signed the papers that very day.

She concurred, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched a moving company packing their possessions to send off to their new abode.

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.

I just love a happy ending, don't you?

3rd - Harshal M. with:
The Grave of Shelley

THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The octogenarian =
"Got an erection?! Ha!"

2nd - nedesto with:
The Sun's Page Three Girl =
Gal preens her huge tits.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
The Thames Valley Gay Police Association =
It is mainly a chocolate passage they love!