Anagrammy Placegetters for September 2011
All the highly-placed anagrams from the September 2011 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The television news broadcast =
I see basic world events on that.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
A Big Mac, fries and a large Coke =
America liked cans of garbage!
3rd - Paul Pan with:
Una famiglia =
Mafia lingua.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Ellie Dent with:
The Silence of the Lambs: a motion picture =
One's meal is complete... but for the Chianti.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Female ballet dancers =
Smaller feet balanced.
3rd - Dean Mayer with:
Kenyan safari camp =
Many African peaks.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
eq1st - Ed Pegg Jr with:
National Muscle Growth Day =
Doing what comes naturally.
eq1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The September Eleventh memorial in NY =
It mainly helps one remember the event.
eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
Nine/Eleven Tenth Anniversary =
Enshrine a relevant event in N.Y.
eq3rd - Dean Mayer with:
Neutrinos seen to travel faster than light =
So Einstein's great "half-truth" not relevant.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Catherine, the royal Duchess of Cambridge =
Cherish her soft beauty and melodic grace.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
The US General Douglas MacArthur of WWII =
Waged with famous courage: "I shall return!"
3rd - Harshal M. with:
The terrorist Osama bin Laden =
Satan's older brother, I mean it!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Palace Theatre, NY =
Enact a play there.
2nd - View with:
Middle East countries ~
must decide relations.
3rd - Harshal M. with:
United States of America =
Fat and mature societies.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Monsters that someone made up:
Hannibal Lecter
Norman Bates
Carrie
Damien
'Aliens'
Jason Voorhees
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
=
Modern creeps that are *real* monsters:
Charles Manson
Ted Bundy
Ayatollah Khomeini
Reverend Jim Jones
Osama bin Laden.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
A cop pulls in two Irish drunks, and says to the first, "Tell me your name and address."
"I'm Paddy Kevin Sheehan, of no fixed abode."
~
The cop nods and asks the next drunk for his address as well.
"Oi'm Seamus Airey Bindy and oi live in the flat one up from Paddy."
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Lewis Carroll from "Through the Looking Glass" =
So it's morning. First, I believe I might possibly:
Take a bath
Exercise dogs
Smell flowers
Shelve books for sale
Hum
Anagram
THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
"Man would sooner have the void for his purpose than be void of purpose." - Nietzsche =
I've a hunch the poor souls who'd favour Emptiness above Hope do not prize friends.
2nd - nedesto with:
"Man would sooner have the void for his purpose than be void of purpose." - Nietzsche =
Fred theosophizes about the answer of unproved nihilism over unopposed havoc.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
"Man would sooner have the void for his purpose than be void of purpose." - Nietzsche. =
Philosophizer thus
endeavors to move us
in vain: but we cope
for add on fresh hope.
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - nedesto with:
A woman awoke to find that her husband wasn't in their bed. She went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, all deep in thought, staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his face and take another sip of his coffee.
"Coming down here now? It's midnight. What's the problem dear?" she asked.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you weren't even 16?" he asked.
"How I do." she said.
"And remember when your father found us, out in the back seat of my old Buick?"
"I do."
"And remember him shoving that shotgun right in front of my face and saying, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend the next 20 years in prison'?"
"I do", she replied.
He wiped another tear and said, "I would've gotten out today."
=
Chad was in a mess of man-trouble again. He had forgotten his 2nd wedding anniversary! His feared wife was inhumanly furious at him.
She irately fumed at him, threatening, "Okay you idiot! Tomorrow I want a fancy gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 120 in 6 seconds. May God mark my words: IT HAD BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning, he got up early and went to work. When his moody wife awoke, she peered out the window and Aha! discovered sure enough there was a small present which he had gift-wrapped in the middle of the street.
Abashed, the wife put on her robe, walked out to the street, and took the present back in the house.
Opening it up, she found a brand new bathroom scale.
Chad has been missing since Friday.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
THE TOP TEN GREATEST AMERICANS OF ALL TIME
(As voted by the people of America)
1 Ronald Reagan
2 Abraham Lincoln
3 Martin Luther King
4 George Washington
5 Benjamin Franklin
6 George W Bush
7 Bill Clinton
8 Elvis Presley
9 Oprah Winfrey
10 Franklin D Roosevelt
=
1 Actor, became President
2 Responsible for abolishing slavery
3 Man with a dream
4 See an open, noble man
5 Father of the US Nation
6 The Jerk
7 Fine cigar lover
8 Hip-swivelling rock 'n' roll King
9 Female, had a long-running tittle-tattle program
10 Bygone War ally
Eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The top music artists of all time with more than two hundred million record sales worldwide (going by third-party sales figures and displayed in no particular order):
1. The Beatles
2. Madonna
3. Led Zeppelin
4. Elvis Presley
5. Abba
6. The Rolling Stones
7. Elton John
8. Queen
9. Celine Dion
10. Pink Floyd
11. Michael Jackson
12. Bee Gees
13. AC/DC
14. Mariah Carey
=
My crazy grandpa Joe rating these artists:
1. "Damn hippies!"
2. "Trollop."
3. "Your dad liked them once. Now he's deaf. Coincidence?"
4. "Hillbilly."
5. "Nordic swingers."
6. "Hopped up on reefers."
7. "Male dandy."
8. "More dandies!"
9. "We'll need to bomb Quebec for that."
10. "Gotta call it 'noise'."
11. "Is this an Asian girl?"
12. "No balls there."
13. "Trolls and junkies."
14. "Leave me her picture, will ya?"
Eq3rd - Adie Pena with:
THE WORLD'S HEAVIEST ANIMALS*
1. Blue Whale
2. Whale Shark
3. African Elephant
4. Indian Elephant
5. White Rhinoceros
6. Hippopotamus
7. Giraffe
8. Crocodile
9. Asian Gaur
10. Bison, Kodiak Bear, Yak, Giant Eland and Alaskan Moose
=
REASON WHY AMERICA IS NOW OH SO OBESE!
1. The High-Calorie Breakfast
2. Doughnut
3. Milkshake
4. Soda
5. Banana Pudding
6. Hawaiian Pineapple Dessert
7. Vanilla Ice Cream
8. All-Fat Pork
9. Whole (or Half) Steak
10. An Italian Dinner
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Antarctica
2nd - Adie Pena with:
Silence (Over Manhattan)
3rd - nedesto with:
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly clandestine positions are hard to fill, and then there's a lot of testing and background scrutiny involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks and the training and the testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to three: two males and one female, but there was only one position available.
The day came for the final test to see which person would get to have the secretive job. The men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our orders whatever the circumstances," they calmly told him. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Now you must take the gun and kill her."
The man looked horrified and said, "No! You can't be serious!" "I wouldn't ever harm my dear wife!" he sobbed. "Well," said the tough CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for the job then. Now leave."
So then they brought the second man to the same door and handed him the gun. "We must know that you will follow our orders no matter what the circumstances." Then they told the second man, "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Now take the gun and kill her."
~
The second man looked very shocked and sick, but nevertheless took the gun and went armed into the room. All was silent for about five minutes. The door opened; the man came out of the room clenching his eyes in pain. Crying, he said. "I panicked. I tried to shoot twice, but I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I was never the man for the job." "No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have the icy nerves of a CIA agent. You can go home with your wife."
Now only the woman was left. The CIA guys led her to the same door and same room and handed her the gun. They said, "We must be sure you will follow every instruction no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun, go in, and kill him with it."
The woman took the gun, ran, and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for fifteen shots. All hell broke loose in the room. They heard manic screaming, clanking, and frantic banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went silent.
The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped sweat from her brow and ranted, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - View with:
A penis surgery =
Guyness repair.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Fake orgasm's entire goal? =
Stroke a man's fragile ego!
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
All things considered, ~
dildoes enchant girls.
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