Laurence David 'Larry' Brash (a.k.a. Christine Parker) (27th December 1949 - 23 November 2017)
Anagrammy
Awards > Tribute Pages > Larry Brash
Examples of Larry's longer winners
LONG CATEGORY, October 2005:
After the death of Quasimodo, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent out word that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided to hold the interviews in the belfry.
After hearing several applicants, the bishop decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him and said he wanted to apply for the job.
The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"
"No matter," exclaimed the man. "Observe!"
He began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced that he had found a worthy replacement for Quasimodo.
Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side.
When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard moments before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked,
"Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied,
"BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL"
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And the following day, with an unbearable melancholy that weighed heavily on his tender heart due to the unfortunate death of the beloved, but armless, campanologist, the bishop came back up and continued the interviews for the one destined to be the new bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man, who walked up and approached him, said,
"Your Excellency, I'm the brother of the armless chap who fell to a sudden and accidental death from the belfry yesterday. I request and pray that you honour his humble, worthwhile life by allowing me to be appointed for this job."
The bishop was quite moved and agreed to audition him, and, when the armless man's brother had bent over to pick up a small wooden mallet to hit the first bell, he moaned, clutched his chest, fell down and he died on the spot.
A few priests and nuns, all hearing the bishop's cries of grief of this second tragedy, rushed upstairs to be on hand at his side.
"What has happened? Who is the deceased man?" the first priest pleaded breathlessly.
"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop,
"but............
HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER!"
LONG CATEGORY, November 2006:
George W. Bush meets with Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II of England.
He asks her,
"Your Majesty, how is it that you run such a very efficient slick government? Are there any clues to this that you can offer me?"
"Well," says the Queen,
"Above all, the most important thing is to do this: surround yourself with very intelligent efficient people."
Bush looks concerned.
"So, how could I know the people around me are so clever and intelligent?"
The Queen takes a little sip from her cup of tea.
"Oh, this is very simple. Let me explain it. You simply ask them to answer an intelligence test. Do listen to this".
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom.
"Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony.
Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "Of course, that would be me."
"Yes! Very good, well done." says the Queen.
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At the White House, Bush talks with Vice President Cheney.
"Answer this one for me, deputy. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother, not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not quite sure, Mr President," says the Vice President.
"Just let me make some enquiries for you about that one."
Cheney goes to his many polite youthful underlings to enquire of all twenty of them, but none are able to give him an intelligent answer.
Finally, a week later, he goes in a men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.
Cheney yells out, "Would you please answer something for me?
Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell yells back , "That's funny! Quite simple: It's me!"
Cheney replies."Gee, great work, pal!"
In the Oval Office he talks with Bush.
"Okay, I've done you some research and here's the eloquent answer to the question. It's my judgement that it is Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over, and yells into his face,
"No! It's Tony Blair!"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2001:
Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!! 1st 20 BE ORDAINED NOW!
As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!
WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.
FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!!
VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock.
WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!
At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.
Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.
For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!
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Larry Brash, Awardsmaster of the Anagrammy Website, will transform you into an award winning anagrammer in 2 hours, not 2 days or 2 months!
As a worthy practitioner of this ancient art, you will soon be creating terrific new rearrangements of everything from simple words through to huge bodies of verse, such as the Complete Works of William Shakespeare.
Surprise your friends! Realize your worth! Get your true recognition. Be a terrific success! Get that promotion at work! Become a red hot lover! See dotty women fight over you!
You can win every category yet, yes, all 9 of them, on your first attempt!
GENERAL
Create beautiful fun cognate gems of 10 letters or less, one that nobody, not even Treesong will find in his archives, even going back to 1893. No corrections!
ENTERTAINMENT
Your terrific efforts crucify Mey Kraus's clever art critic 'grams. By now, he seems quite a total Philistine.
TOPICAL
Tom Myers is now completely chronic, Yesterday City, too out of date, at least 1992 or longer, after you get through with him.
RUDE
Be more disgusting than David Bourke, criticising idiotic fruity poofters and insulting women's genitalia with every winner. Concoct erotic, dirty, itchy-crotch, orifice-fornicating shit.
SPAM
Oh, boy! Turn those unwanted corny advertising cons and horrifying Get-Rich-Now schemes into nice nutritious spamagrams.
LONG
If it is 40 letters or 1000 letters, it will make no difference, you will astound even Richard Brodie.
PEOPLE AND OTHER NAMES
Coy Ms. Burholt will eat her heart out, too, when she sees the efficient concoctions that you could come up with here in these two categories.
SPECIAL
Now this is where you will really outshine the rest. Come first! Mike Keith and Richard Grantham, they are a choice pair of buffoonish semi-literate fools compared to you.
This offer is genuine. No hidden conditions.
How do I do it? Do you have to pay up before I can give you the forty or fifty scientific secrets, which I hold?
What would you consider this would cost? Is this $5000? $850? $50? $10?
No! It's FREE!
Read the FAQ!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2001:
Accident-proneness - Psychopathological Theory. Mythology or reality?
W. K. Dunbar (1900-59) found that 500 people who had more than one work accident were more likely, statistically, to experience another one than those who never had accidents. Other early research, with outmoded methodology, showed why some people are more prone toward this than others (D. W. Wood, 1930).
Tom Woulf looked at why the "accident-prone person" often was foolhardy, impulsive, drawn to adventure, thrill seeking and excitement. Woulf proved that "he is often in search of immediate pleasure, and was rarely able to postpone gratification".... "He does not know how to look ahead, follow a plan and often harbours projection or strong resentment against authority figures" (Woulf, 1950). This rebellion, one response to strict upbringing in mid-childhood, is "likely to stem from punitive parenting, too" (Don Poweth, 1990): "He grows up being thwarted, unable to tolerate discipline, not even when that self-discipline is required for one's own safety". His inner rules and failed self-control provoke him to "a powerful fight-flight reaction" (Woulf).
Many studies (P. Meek; B. Welpe; V. Mupa; L. Hoi) with a badly designed methodology, demonstrated that most, if not all, accidents are unconsciously intended. In other words, many of these accidents were "undoubtedly a form of acting out" (Meek). The most frequent underlying negative motive might be "guilt, a death-wish or guilt-related self-punitive rage" (Woulf) The physical injury, psychological suffering, low mood, general discomfort and inconvenience, brought about by the accident, are experienced as punishment and will relieve the guilt feeling, at least temporarily (D. B. Wooten, 1923). That type of defence may be interpreted as the primary gain. The secondary gain may be the need to avoid responsibility or work, to be looked after, to obtain money or profit, or just to get attention from other people.
Woulf and Wood both recommended psychotherapy as the preferred treatment method, but, as yet, there is no good thoughtful study to confirm the benefit of these attempts.
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My insurance company asked me for more information regarding my work related accident claim. This was my response:
"I can explain why I put down 'poor planning' as the main cause of my accident.
I was working on the top of a 190-foot tower. I had just completed my work, when I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of assorted tools. Rather than carry all of them back down by hand, I decided to lower these items using a pulley. Securing a rope at ground level, I went to the very top of the tower and then loaded the tools into a small barrow. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in question 19 of the accident report that I weigh 159 pounds.
Due to my complete surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 95-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. I regained my presence of mind and I was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in question 19.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 95-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. That encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools, so only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 190 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope..."
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Updated: May 20, 2019
