David Bourke

Anagrammy Awards > Literary Archives > David Bourke

Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

Afroman - 'Because I Got High'

I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high
My room is still messed up, and I know why
- 'cause I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high

I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed, but I got high
I am taking it next semester and I know why
'cause I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high

I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
Now I'm selling dope and I know why
'cause I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high

I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
They took my whole paycheck and I know why
'cause I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high

I wasn't gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high
Now I am a paraplegic - because I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high

I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
Now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why
Because I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high

I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
Now I'm jacking off and I know why
'cause I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high

I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
Now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
'cause I got high
'cause I got high
'cause I got high

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
And if I don't sell one copy I know why -
'cause I'm high
'cause I'm high
'cause I'm high

Bushman - 'Cause I Got High'

I wasn't gonna score me no dope, to get me high,
I wasn't gonna drive while giggling drunk... I got high.
Man, I wasn't gonna inhale skunk! No, that is a lie!
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high.

I coulda been a fighter pilot once, but I got high.
A big chief in the National Guard, but I got high.
Now - man! I couldn't fly a kite, and I know why:
- 'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high.

I wasn't gonna campaign for Pres, but I got high.
I can't fix a whole sentence together, 'cause I got high.
Now I ain't no better than that pothead Clinton, hope you know why:
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high.

I was gonna sign Kyoto, I swear, but I got high,
I was gonna clean my cowboy act up, but I got high.
It was a slight ambitious misjudgment, and I know why:
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high.

I was gonna bomb Pyongyang, I said, high as the sky.
Show those slit-eyed commies who's da boss, but I got high.
Now bombs are gonna wipe ME out, and I know why
- 'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high.

I was gonna slip my Johnson to Laura, but I got high.
I was gonna make the earth move for her, but I got high.
Now Tony Blair's sitting on my lap - I know why:
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high.

I guess I'm gonna stop toking dope, tell you why:
I'm gonna kick my brown-nugget drugs habit, if I die.
When I'm impeached and I'm washing dishes, hope you know why:
- 'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high,
'Cause I got high.

Gee! I buggered-up the whole world, 'cause I got high
On copious blow, I lost the plot, 'cause I got high.
Now I'm piped off my stoopid face giggling... I know why:
- 'Cause I got high, 'cause I got high, 'cause I got high,
'Cause I'm high, 'cause I'm high, 'cause I'm high.

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A quotation by Mark Twain.

"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." - Mark Twain

Many, many core voters in America now feel, in President George Walker Bush, is in fact, a testament to this view. An ignorant, top-rank moron... no question!

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Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee;
Blessed art thou among women,
And blessed be the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Tony Blair, full of lies,
Thine days are numbered;
Why don't thee just sod right off, huh?
Go home, you smug, flash bastard!
War? Madness!
How we pray
For Labour's death at the election.
One more month! Reform!

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'Mandy' - Barry Manilow

I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice
A shadow of a man
A face through a window
Crying in the night
The night goes into...

Morning, just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
You made me so happy...

Oh Mandy, well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy,
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
I need you today, oh Mandy

I'm standing on the edge of time
I walked away when love was mine
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing
The tears are in my mind
And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy

Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy

Yesterday's a dream I face the morning
Crying on the breeze
The pain is calling, oh Mandy...

Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy.

Peter 'Mandy' Mandelson - by Tony Blair

How I wept! I had to sack you twice;
The power-vacuum wasn't very nice!
Savagely you were daily mauled,
Again 'The Prince of Darkness' the media called,
Why this stupid fuss over your home?
And what a trauma, my empty Dome!

No monkey... Hartlepool image? Not for you!
I know, only Bohemian Notting Hill could do.
A weekend sipping Chardonnay,
Gay night-life, Brazilian hideaway,
While I'd slum it in Islington...

Mandy!
When you came to embody New Labour,
I gagged you, sent you to Belfast,
Oh, my Mandy!
The Hindujas you helped get dodgy passports?
I mean, what can I say?
Oh, I'm a dimwit, Mandy!

A High Commissioner in my Eurozone,
Again I hope you won't forget old Tone.
Why, I hope that we can make amends,
I guess we are guaranteed always friends,
My wife, undying love she sends,
To you and young Reinaldo...

Oh, my Mandy!
What damaging megalomania!
Like me, a slippery snake!
My Mandy!
Underhand, undignified, kinky,
Yet again on the make!
Oh Mandy!
Hey, my good mate Mandy!

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House in New Orleans

There is a house in New Orleans,
They call the Rising Sun,
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And god I know....I'm one.

Gosh, Katrina's in the headlines
Boo hoo! I wanna cry!
No, it's no fun being lonely underwater,
...Yes, in The Superdome am I!

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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