Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.
Holy Shit! 39 fucking versions of the first stanza
of The Village Blacksmith by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. |
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Under a spreading chestnut-tree
The village smithy stands;
The smith, a mighty man is he,
With large and sinewy hands;
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.
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He's vast this Bard, Larry Brash,
Poet! Demigod! Many letters
Winds chins, dun whims 'n' hash;
Wrote anagram challenge fetters
It's human madness? Insanity?
Hi! Any anguished getters? |
This bastard Larry Brash;
Man! This poet, many letters
Winds chins, dun whims 'n' hash;
Wrote anagram challenge fetters
Demigod? Madness? Vie insanity,
Hush...! Any anguished getters? |
Anagrammy Awardsmaster
Clever Nut, Grand Sadist WHAM!
Was he batty? Curse it! Harder,
Oh tatty fight, this silly slam!
I bend pen, did nonsense nonsense,
Shun his height? He's in 'gram! |
By myths? Whence these legends?
North American Indian dreams;
Hiawatha's rivers murmur
Indian days, bless these things;
Grandest pull! Tend that star!
My "Song of Hiawatha" SINGS! |
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Married Mary! His pen rhymes;
But in tragedy she died,
Angel saint, sadness shrines;
Intact, hath in Cambridge taught
Man has haunts, vastness times. |
President of the United States
Bill Clinton sighs "my intern shrewd";
High aghast 'n' nasty traits,
Massaged Monica Havana lewd;
When as my "Mrs" in her bush
She's a gem! Rat randy rude! |
President drums enlightenment,
Abraham Lincoln rights the day;
Freed the niggers! Man's USA,
That Civil War, sights his way.
Assassinated!!! Madman Booth...
Hurry! Send the news 'n' say! |
Sir Winston Churchill's "War in Words"
The PM's might! O mash the Huns!
Sings Vera Lynn, a steady tie,
Brits emanate, defy the guns!
Abide the aim! Thrash Germany!
As Dear England stands. |
British Show Team, funny Neddy
Trad up! Vast gags! This man rings;
Milligan, Sellers, "ha ha" Nitwits,
Comedian Harry Secombe sings!
Tan the ass? He wasn't rude!
Ah, tenderhearted hymns. |
Manchester United 'n' Ferguson,
White Hart Lane wins Sheringham!
Grand Glenn Hoddle's match is
"Ready Teddy" says "Tottenham!"
Virile star in smashing pass...
Airy bust! Bash West Ham! |
Astronaut, 'n' Moon landing,
Man he thirsts? Dreams? Why YES!
The Sun, dim stars, 'n' Gemini craft,
Shine Universe, angels bless;
Data rhythm, bright Earth dawn,
I had space-day weightless! |
Hands together, Dad and Mum
Has tiny girl, she gives birth;
Any snags? Pains in her tum?
She yawns! Enthrals! Santa's Earth!
Midwife tends umbilical cord,
A teeny gem 'n' she's STAR worth! |
Has brutish mad growth in the brain
Renowned Psychiatrist;
Egg himself, he went insane,
Rue mental madness virus cyst;
Had harsh rash! Lost sanity!
A demented mind gags analyst. |
Eeyore brays, "Mr Milne amuse!"
Winnie-the-Pooh says things wise;
Silly fat bear 'n' childish shrewd,
He's a nectar star and sighs!
Damn mad nut, 'n' TV trends...
As that mad gang grunt the "Hi's"! |
Ah, draws a hush, Cathedral hymns
England's history men assign;
Finest lay, and built that mast,
Sir Christopher Wren's gems benign!
Hmm, a dated 'Tower' as he...
Neat University design! |
Silent genius: Charlie Chaplin.
"Modern Times."? Human dumbness!
Standards wash? Modern way!
"The Great Hitler."? Dirty daftness!
War against the high torn age,
Shy man by his vastness! |
Hey! Marilyn Monroe has high tits
Every girl's dream! Male 'musts'?
Wed Cary Grant? Sinatra sings!
She acts bathing, hidden busts;
Wanted Star! A Fan! The Hand?
I whine 'n' hoped! Men's lusts!!! |
Artist, oils, seen hand-in-hand
Picasso! Fine Museum Arts;
Enthrals! Madrid: High bright age,
Master! Cubism? New end starts!
Why, vended honest his gallery?
He hangs many tawny 'tarts'! |
Norwegian Artist Edvard Munch;
Fame? Why, my oil painting!
The hasty trends did assess,
Harsh "The Scream", in haunting!
'Sweet Mary'... Bright Hell she?
'Madonna's' breasts less daunting! |
Burning coal Earth's industry,
Welshman miner down the pit;
No adit gas? Smug enemy!
Ashen man, that dismal shit;
Grave harshest needs, canary sings
A shaft wheels' shed, dirty Brit! |
I, Braille Teacher of the Blind......
Sadness, mends eternal night...
News? Raised printed dots.......
A man's 'touch', grants man 'sight'.
Ah! Starry-eyed, has an envy wish.....
This human saw! My smug right.....? |
Aswan Dam 'n' digs warn death,
Archeologist had sudden fright;
Mummy's return, and hot breath,
As Egypt's myth: Hellish Rite.
Saw near sign, then evil rash...
Men's abyss sin ancient site. |
Feminine beauty had hair curly
To Hairdresser elegant stylist;
Scissors going, wash 'n' wavy,
The 'Mrs' perm-art she'd insist;
Damn 'n' damn! She then went bald...
Hats tag mad hen anguish! |
Children's bedtime thing it growls
Cuddly Teddy Bear says "Hermann!"
A few upstairs "ha ha" howls,
Toy designer he's a German;
Smash hit as this instant's haven
Entertains Mum 'n' Gran! |
H'mm, star Ballerina whirls...
Dash on! She's giddy twisting;
Dreamy strength, her many twirls,
Pirouettes had heart dashing;
Beethoven tunes: A fantasy...
Has seen man's music dancing! |
Composer Gustav Mahler's twist,
Wagner, Brahms, 'n' artistry;
High, he hast not human bliss,
Men's ways enchant, endlessly...
In Andante grief, his daughter died...
Maria's death, 'n' Destiny. |
Brave Circus Tamer, tigers dashing,
Nasty fury, thrashing trend;
Angry beasts, whip a lashing,
Hush! So meet his saddest rend?
In lion's teeth an' swallowed him...
Hm? Tasty man, "Amen" end! |
Angel psalms birth and death
Country Vicar Sunday hymns;
Heed with air sermons' truth,
God led the Way if Satan sings;
Mass between, right "Amen"
Herald Messiah grants thine sins! |
Humdrum Dustman dogs and cats
A man in the street empties bins;
Rotten eggs, hardier rats,
Scavenge willy-nilly, he bangs tins!
A fetor wishy-washy shit...
Eh rash man? Hear hand dins! |
Writer Lewis Carroll's chatter,
This Wonderland poet's night;
Ay, gibberish as Mad Hatter,
See mishmash madness fright!
Demented ninny, a haughty ass,
Venus anus, mad nanny sight!!! |
Serves menu, and had light dress
BA pilot's daytime sight;
(Mr 'n' Mrs?) Marry hostess???
Ten thousand metres height;
Twin seats 'n' underway Andean high,
I scan BA airway's channel flight! |
Crashing lashing great high waves
Smash down! Intensity;
Adrenalin thrills, Pro he bathes,
Aussie Surfer, tanned body;
Master crests, met sunny height,
What Madman! Mind steady! |
Indian huntsman 'n' headdress,
Mountain eagles soaring high;
Catching game where wild myths bless,
Lambs run, shh! Deer start 'n' defy;
'Twas hard his star... try
Venison meat, tasty pie!!! |
What's-his-name? Pig Farmer's sty
Smells rotten shit, grime and swine;
Hadn't washed? blended sigh,
Animals' stench, country shrine;
Hardy grub hogs, tasty meat,
Ah via urn, a seat, 'n' dine! |
In a country gardener's state
Lilies shine 'n' flowerbeds;
Seeds tiny grow and germinate;
Ah, vast man, has tan, hath buds;
H'mm, sympathy? Calm thrushes sing
Within his garden treads. |
This gentlest artist carpenter
His wood engravings sunny;
What hand-made ash, laurel timber,
Hums, cherished fingers tidy;
Yews, elms, artist, hand-in-hand
As man's best mahogany! |
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Damn ass he runs, 'n' tiny lad
Puny smart-arse stones he slings!
Hard they fight, then damn wet,
David and Goliath rub chins!
Smart-arse misses the great iceman
Wry be he! Goliath wins!
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