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The Ballad of John and Yoko
Standing in the dock at Southampton,
Trying to get to Holland or France.
The man in the mac said, "You've got to go back".
You know they didn't even give us a chance.
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
Finally made the plane into Paris,
Honey mooning down by the Seine.
Peter Brown called to say,
"You can make it O.K.,
You can get married in Gibraltar, near Spain".
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
Drove from Paris to the Amsterdam Hilton,
Talking in our beds for a week.
The newspaper said, "Say what you doing in bed?"
I said, "We're only trying to get us some peace".
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
Saving up your money for a rainy day,
Giving all your clothes to charity.
Last night the wife said,
"Oh boy, when you're dead
You don't take nothing with you
But your soul - think!"
Made a lightning trip to Vienna,
eating chocolate cake in a bag.
The newspaper said, "She's gone to his head,
They look just like two gurus in drag".
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
Caught the early plane back to London.
Fifty acorns tied in a sack.
The men from the press said, "We wish you success,
It's good to have the both of you back".
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
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The Song of George and Tony.
Sitting at a desk in Geneva,
Trying to get that UN mandate,
Yet those men all around,
Said "no way, you're a clown",
Hey, I was never going to hang back and wait!
Ah my oil war's gone now,
Hey Tony, what a debut,
Your sacrifice is tragic,
I know they're gonna knight you.
Kicked the insurgent chaps down in Basra,
Another botch job up in Baghdad,
Tony then called to say,
"Hey Bush you're doing okay,
You've kicked more Moslem butt than your Dad!"
Ah my oil war's gone now,
Hey Tony, what a debut,
Your sacrifice is tragic,
I know they're gonna knight you.
Back around the table in Europe,
Chancing it again like before,
The diplomats glared,
"Hey, what you doing down there?",
I said "I'm only trying to get me some war!".
Ah my oil war's gone now,
Hey Tony, what a debut,
Your sacrifice is tragic,
I know they're gonna knight you.
Keeping back some scuds for Pyongyang,
Hoping Korea takes off with a bang,
Then Condy Rice said,
Hooray Saddam's dead,
You've never got to justify the fight now, think!
Then the naughty planes flew into the towers,
They have a hunch that it's a conspiracy,
Hey, I covered it up,
The international hiccup,
I must confess it wasn't me.
Ah my oil war's gone now,
Hey Tony, what a debut,
Your sacrifice is tragic,
I know they're gonna knight you.
Started up a war on terror,
Each activist cooped up in hell-bay,
It's only heathens in chains,
No-one formally complains,
I ought to set them free one day.
Ah my oil war's gone now,
Hey Tony, what a debut,
Your sacrifice is tragic,
I know they're gonna knight you.
Your sacrifice is tragic,
I know they're gonna knight you.
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