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Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens,
Brown paper packages tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudels,
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles,
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
Silver white winters that melt into springs,
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don't feel so bad!
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Tickling and prodding of nipples with feathers,
Dungeons with handcuffs and razors and leathers,
Gadgets with rubberised bits we don't see -
These are my fantasies. Try some with me!
Items like dildos, free grope-toys, grand sonnets,
Very weird pebbles, porn, even frayed bonnets,
Windowsills, ovens, a brush for the loo -
These are my fantasies. Help them come true!
Gerbils in arseholes, rammed in with fire hoses,
Arsefucking llamas whilst picking their noses,
Nuns who like wrestling on vats of wet poo -
These are my fantasies. Try not to spew...
When a whip mauls,
When the rats bite,
When the toothpaste stings,
I'll leap on my llama and wedge it in tight -
We love fetishistic things!
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