Tony Crafter

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Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

"THE CLOSEST THING TO CRAZY"
by
Katie Melua

How can I think I'm standing strong,
Yet feel the air beneath my feet?
How can happiness feel so wrong?
How can misery feel so sweet?
How can you let me watch you sleep,
Then break my dreams the way you do?
How can I have got in so deep?
Why did I fall in love with you?

[CHORUS:]
This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been
Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen,
This is the nearest thing to crazy I have ever known,
I was never crazy on my own...
And now I know that there's a link between the two,
Being close to craziness and being close to you.

How can you make me fall apart
Then break my fall with loving lies?
It's so easy to break a heart;
It's so easy to close your eyes.
How can you treat me like a child
Yet like a child I yearn for you?
How can anyone feel so wild?
How can anyone feel so blue?

[CHORUS]

END

"KATIE'S SONG"
Bennet Flop

Katie I'm so in love with you,
Kate you make my senses race,
Tho' you are only twenty-two,
You dazzle me with that flawless face.
How can I bear to hear that voice,
Picture that face inside my head?
Knowing I'll never be your choice,
Knowing I'll never share your bed.

(CHORUS:)
This is the closest place to Heaven one can ever be,
You are twenty-two, I am ninety-three,
This is the closest place to Heaven's essence that's for sure,
Can't see me reaching ninety-four;
'Cos I know well, that if you spend one night with me,
I will go to Heaven, and I mean that literally!

Why am I grizzly and wheezy?
Why can't Katie be ninety-two?
Why does my heart say, "It's easy,"
Why does my head say, "No can do!"
How can one feel so new 'n' strong,
Yet look like a wrinkled cabbage leaf?
How can this love song be so wrong,
How can an ol' boy feel this grief?

(CHORUS:)

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'GUANTANAMERA'

Yo soy un hombre sincero
De donde crecen las palmas
Yo soy un hombre sincero
De donde crecen las palmas
Y antes de morirme quiero
Echar mis versos del alma

CHORUS:
Guantanamera
Guajira Guantanamera
Guantanamera
Guajira Guantanamera

Mi verso es de un verde claro
Y de un carmin encendido
Mi verso es de un verde claro
Y de un carmin encendido
Mi verso es un ciervo herido
Que busca en el monte amparo

CHORUS:

I am a truthful man from this land of palm trees
Before dying I want to share these poems of my soul
My verses are light green
But they are also flaming red

(the next verse says,)
I cultivate a rose in June and in January
For the sincere friend who gives me his hand
And for the cruel one who would tear out this heart with which I live
I do not cultivate thistles nor nettles
I cultivate a white rose

Cultivo la rosa blanca
En junio como en enero
Qultivo la rosa blanca
En junio como en enero
Para el amigo sincero
Que me da su mano franca

CHORUS:

Y para el cruel que me arranca
El corazon con que vivo
Y para el cruel que me arranca
El corazon con que vivo
Cardo ni ortiga cultivo
Cultivo la rosa blanca

CHORUS:

Con los pobres de la tierra
Quiero yo mi suerte echar
Con los pobres de la tierra
Quiero yo mi suerte echar
El arroyo de la sierra
Me complace mas que el mar

CHORUS:

GUANTANAMO BAY

This place is so quiet and grim
I'm cocooned in a corner of Hell
This place is so quiet and grim
I'm cocooned in a corner of Hell;
Blindfolded over my eyes
And no trial's required, I hear tell.

CHORUS:
Guantanamo Bay
Encaged on Guantanamo Bay
Guantanamo Bay
They quiz me most every day.

Afghanistan's where they caught me
Our land of the Taliban
Guantanamo Bay's where they brought me
A prisoner, chains on my hands
I've been here ever since
I'll remain here evermore.

CHORUS:

I am a Muslim traveller, raised in a place of Mosques,
Now I'm in remote Guantanamo, conquered, useless, crushed;
Ex-Al Qaeda - I?
Never! They are repellent to me.


I cultivate desires, in January and June,
That circumstances improve
And our conquerers leave soon;
I cultivate no love or peace,
I just cultivate hate.

I cultivate a recurrent desire
In January and June
I cultivate a recurrent desire
All quarrels may end soon
Release may come real soon
From Guantanamo.

CHORUS:

Our American captors are cruel,
Zealous remorseless usurpers,
Jealous procurers of hate,
But our moral honour will rule
Resurgence can rise up soon
And we can overcome

CHORUS:

Iraq is America's voodoo
Corroded from violence and war
Iraq is America's voodoo
Corroded from violence and war
Allah can overcome
Allah can overcome

CHORUS:

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MANDALAY
by
Rudyard Kipling

By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin' eastward to the sea,
There's a Burma girl a-settin', and I know she thinks o' me;
For the wind is in the palm-trees, and the temple-bells they say;
"Come you back, you British Soldier; come you back to Mandalay!"
Come you back to Mandalay,
Where the old Flotilla lay;
Can't you 'ear their paddles clunkin' from Rangoon to Mandalay?
On the road to Mandalay,
Where the flyin'-fishes play,
An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!

'Er petticoat was yaller an' 'er little cap was green,
An' 'er name was Supi-Yaw-Lat jes' the same as Theebaw's Queen,
An' I seed her first a-smokin' of a whackin' white cheroot,
An' wastin' Christian kisses on an 'eathen idol's foot:
Bloomin' idol made o' mud--
Wot they called the Great Gawd Budd--
Plucky lot she cared for idols when I kissed 'er where she stud!
On the road to Mandalay ...

When the mist was on the rice-fields an' the sun was droppin' slow,
She'd git 'er little banjo an' she'd sing "Kulla-la-lo!"
With 'er arm upon my shoulder an' 'er cheek again my cheek
We useter watch the steamers an' the hathis pilin' teak.
Elephants a-piling teak
In the sludgy, squdgy creek,
Where the silence 'ung that 'eavy you was 'arf afraid to speak!
On the road to Mandalay ...


But that's all shove be'ind me -- long ago and fur away,
An' there ain't no buses runnin' from the Bank to Mandalay;
An' I'm learnin' 'ere in London what the ten-year soldier tells:
"If you've 'eard the East a-callin', you won't never 'eed naught else."
No! you won't 'eed nothin' else
But them spicy garlic smells,
An' the sunshine an' the palm-trees an' the tinkly temple-bells;
On the road to Mandalay ...

I am sick 'o wastin' leather on these gritty pavin'-stones,
An' the blasted English drizzle wakes the fever in my bones;
Tho' I walks with fifty 'ousemaids outer Chelsea to the Strand,
An' they talks a lot o' lovin', but wot do they understand?
Beefy face an' grubby 'and--
Law! wot do they understand?
I've a neater, sweeter maiden in a cleaner, greener land!
On the road to Mandalay . . .

Ship me somewheres east of Suez, where the best is like the worst,
Where there ain't no Ten Commandments an' a man can raise a thirst;
For the temple-bells are callin', and it's there that I would be--
By the old Moulmein Pagoda, looking lazy at the sea;
On the road to Mandalay,
Where the old Flotilla lay,
With our sick beneath the awnings when we went to Mandalay!
On the road to Mandalay,
Where the flyin'-fishes play,
An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!

TO SHELLENA
(A Poet's Tale)

On the road off Croydon High Street, headin' eastward to the square,
There's a little Indian restaurant that lies situated there;
And the menu on the window tells the prices that you'll pay;
With a note that says 'You're Welcome To Eat-in Or Take Away!'
In The Mandalay Bombay,
Open every single day,
Where you smell tandoori wafting, from the ovens made of clay,
As you go down Croydon way,
To The Mandalay Bombay,
Where the meals come up like thunder, outta kitchens, on tin trays.

Her sari it was purple an' a rose was in 'er hair,
And 'er name it was Shellena, and she was a waitress there,
An' I saw 'er smilin' kindly at a man that she was servin',
An' wastin' 'er politeness on that bloke who weren't deservin',
He was such a bloomin' drip,
Wanted ruddy egg 'n' chips!
Plucky lot 'e cared about the beauty of Shellena,
In The Mandalay Bombay...

When I'd muddled through the menu, I would wait a little while,
Then she'd come on up to see me with a pencil an' a smile,
An' just to keep 'er talkin' I would ask 'er for advice,
Then she'd suggest a tasteful dish, with egg and pilau rice
An' one nan bread in the price!
An' a glass of rather nice
Neat Indian beer, all cool 'n' clear and just like liquid ice!
In the Mandalay Bombay...

That's all pushed be'ind me now, and prob'ly for the best,
And there ain't no bus that runs from South of France to Croydon West,
And I'm learning 'ere in St.Tropez about cuisine, French style,
But if you've seen The Mandalay and 'ad their tarka dall,
An' seen Shellena's dazzling smile,
Then there's nothing else worthwhile,
And the chicken tikka platter is the best for ruddy miles!
In The Mandalay Bombay ...

Oh, I'm sick of snails 'n' frog-legs and the other Frenchie 'perks',
And the reason that I stay's because they sent me 'ere to work,
Though, thank God, I'm due to go home in another fifteen weeks,
Though the mam'selles in St Tropez are all pretty, they ain't meek,
And don't turn the other cheek,
Unlike she that's called Shellena, and who makes me knees go weak,
In the Mandalay Bombay ...

Take me back to Croydon's alleyways and to that hallowed hall,
Where Shellena's smile awaits me and red paper lines the walls,
For the tarka dall's a-callin' and the window notes still say,
'Hello!' and, 'You're all welcome to eat-in or take away!'
In The Mandalay Bombay,
Open every single day,
Where you smell tandoori wafting from the ovens made of clay;
As you go down Croydon way,
To The Mandalay Bombay,
Where the meals come up like thunder, outta kitchens, on tin trays.

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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