Various authors' versions of the same nursery rhyme.

Anagrammy Awards > Literary Archives > Various Authors

These are from the second Awardsmaster's Challenge in November 2000. The challenge was to anagram the nursery rhyme "I am a pretty little Dutch girl" into a new poem set in a different country, keeping to the original metre and rhyme as much as possible.

Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

The original text -

I am a pretty little Dutch girl,
As pretty as I can be.
And all the boys in the neighbourhood
Are crazy over me!

The Winner: Richard Grantham -

An elderly Palm Beach citizen,
I leer at my bingo card:
To play it's rather easy, uh?
But *voting* there's too hard!

2nd place: Larry Brash -

I'm a bastard Aussie bitch,
I love to bang all day.
Later, try pet her dirty cunt.
Oz gentlemen cheer "hip hooray!"

3rd place: Meyran Kraus -

I'm Otto, German Nazi lad,
Read plays by Bertolt Brecht;
Pray Hitler is alive each night -
Shout "O, Ya!" nude, erect.

David Bourke -

I'm a hideous ugly bitch,
A Holland total lesbian pro.
I never bed men - they're a threat,
Pretty crazy? Tragic? So?

David Bourke -

Larry Brash (nice Aussie),
I 'gram (the night... the day),
To the crazy internet poll called A.A.,
O, but I top over D.B. / Mey!

David Bourke -

I'm a real Zulu tribe man,
And I've got a bloody big spear.
Ladies cry: "Oh, help! I can't!"
Try, then they start to cheer!

David Bourke -

I'm an Israel baby,
Dong circumcised at the birth.
A razor-shortened pea at all?
Plenty yet! You love the girth!

David Bourke -

I'm a P.L.O. terrorist,
Ugh! Hate the ruddy Zion state.
Palestinian cry: "Holy city avenged!
Arab bomb! Hell create!"

David Bourke -

Hello each, I'm Ziggy Stardust,
A pretty Martian boy.
And here I live, here in alt.space,
Not bold, but rather coy.

Jon Gearhart -

"A butt ugly midget in Spain,
[As bad as Hillary C.]
Every hot zero in Barcelona?
They hold their erect part to me!"

Richard Grantham -

O, I'm a very sad rural N.Z. boy,
I bugger its dirty sheep;
My rationale? The decent local
Brothel ain't that cheap.

Tom Myers -

A dirty, attractive, U.S. babe,
Hop on, I spread my legs!
Then on to head, crazy thrill there!
I am certain you'll beg!

Mick Tully -

I'm Paddy, a lazy Irish boy
A lover o' tit & porter,
Hi Eth, chaste girl,
Announcement? Tell...
"Secret? A baby daughter..."

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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