Anagrammy Awards Results - December, 1998

I am pleased to announce the winners of the December Anagrammy Awards.


A big field of 18 nominees fought this one out. I was the early leader, but Richard caught up and maintained a solid lead to the end. If I had never got that discussion about ampersands going, I might have won this category! Richard's 11th Anagrammy.

1st. Richard Brodie with:
The ampersand - why abolish it? =
I hate phrase with "and" symbol! 7 votes
2nd. Larry Brash with:
Alzheimer's Disease. =
I realized he's a mess. 4 votes
eq. 3rd. Kevin Hale with:
Merry Christmas. =
It screams 'Myrrh'. 2 votes
eq. 3rd. Keith Lehman with:
Armageddon. =
Goddam near. 2 votes


Meyran is becoming a bit of another expert in this category although he has not won it before. He was never in doubt about winning this month with an anagram of a painting one of my favourite artists. This was his 4th Anagrammy.

1st. Meyran Kraus with:
Caravaggio's "The Decapitation Of Saint John The Baptist". =
An artist, he jots 'beheading of a chap'. It's too captivating! 9 votes
2nd. Larry Brash with:
Handel's Messiah =
Ah, shameless din! 5 votes
3rd. Keith Lehman with:
Armageddon. =
Man dare God. 4 votes


Well, it seems everyone must have read TIME magazine recently! You had to know that they were Starr and Clinton to get this one. This is was never in danger of losing from Day One.

1st. Larry Brash with:
TIME's "Men of the Year" =
They met; remain foes. 10 votes
2nd. Dan Etter with:
Starr's Ethics Adviser. =
"Christ! I served rat-ass!" 5 votes
3rd. Tom Myers with:
Bethlehem's Star =
The Lamb, he rests. 3 votes


Beginner's luck? I don't think so! Newbie Katrina's rude anagram was short but to the point and a well-deserved winner.

1st. Katrina Crowell with:
Courtesan =
A sore cunt. 10 votes
2nd. Richard Brodie with:
Lo children are an heritage of the Lord:
........ [snipped] 7 votes
3rd. Tom Myers with: Who has been chosen "The Girl Most Likely to Suck Seed"? =
Hot shot brushed Monica Lewinsky's cheek. Gee. so tell! 2 votes


Johnnie Burning Elk is a great spamagrammer and this was his second win in this category. It was daylight in second place. His 5th Anagrammy.

1st. Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Make time and do this. =
Eat shit and die! OK... mm! 12 votes
eq. 2nd. Meyran Kraus with:
Let me show you this POWERFUL way to secure your PROSPERITY and FREEDOM. =
How low... Please don't SPAM me or you're HISTORY, you rude, creepy twit. Suffer!!! 4 votes
eq. 2nd. Mick Tully with:
Unlimited informasion =
Moron lies ad infinitum. 4 votes


Tom Myers is best known for his short pithy topical anagrams, so it was a surprise to find such a long one of his in this category. It was posted just after Christmas and I think most of us could identify with it. His 4th Anagrammy.

1st. Tom Myers with:
Twelve drummers drumming...... [snipped] .........How will I get this damn VISA paid? 11 votes
eq. 2nd. John Morahan with:
If computers are so quick, how come I spend so much time waiting for them? =
How to acquire minimum PC speed? Um, OK, the answer is: I go fetch Microsoft. 5 votes
eq. 2nd. Meyran Kraus with:
"When you enjoy something, you must never let
logic get too much........... [snipped] 5 votes


All seven nominees picked up at least one vote here this month. Kevin's anagram was originally in the Place Name Category, but I moved it over when doing the final list. Earle Jones was the early leader, but Kevin got going on Day 3 & 4 to win comfortably. This was Kevin's second Anagrammy.

1st. Kevin Hale with:
'The Cerne Giant'. =
Hi! An erect gent. 8 votes
eq. 2nd. Len Richards with:
The Rolling Stones =
Hello! Snort..ingest! 5 votes
eq. 2nd. Earle Jones with:
Sadaam Hussein =
I'm head ass/anus. 5 votes


I thought that my nomination was odds-on to win this one. However, Earle's anagram had a huge burst of votes on Day 2 to break into the lead. Earle has been in alt.anagrams longer than nearly everyone and it was nice to see him pick up his first Anagrammy.

1st. Earle Jones with:
Microsoft Corporation =
Or, Astronomic Profit Co. 9 votes
2nd. Larry Brash with:
National Geographic. =
Gaining a clear photo. 6 votes
3rd. Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Spain and Portugal =
Sunlit propaganda. 3 votes


This was the only tied result. I picked Meyran's set narrowly over Tom Myers. I think it was the vision of Sharon Stone's nether regions that swung me (despite that bloody ampersand). Meyran's second Anagrammy for the month and his 5th overall.

1st. Meyran Kraus. with: 5 votes
Paul Verhoeven's "Basic Instinct" =
Stone's velvet pubic hair? Can sin!
Seen Sharon's cunt via pelvic bit.
Her cunt's visible, is open & vacant.
2nd. Tom Myers with: 5 votes
The Oldest Profession. =
See troops, find hotels.
Holes fit troop's needs.
3rd. Larry Brash with: 4 votes
"The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" =
Ah! Three transvestites flounced or feel piqued.
Three poofters dressed in aqua. Nut left vehicle.
Three antique poofters have dressed in full, etc....

Richard's was not the longest anagram in the category (that was Jon's), but it was brilliant and inventive. Jon's was a well-deserved placegetter and would have won any other month. Richard is keeping a stranglehold on this category with his second win in just 3 contests. His 12th Anagrammy.

1st. Richard Brodie with: 12 votes
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this
continent, a new nation......... [snipped]
2nd. Jon Gearhart with: 8 votes
High Crimes and Misdemeanours........ [giant snip]
3rd. Michael Maguire with: 2 votes
Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth upon this
continent a new nation............ [snipped]

Updated: May 10, 2016


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