Grand Anagrammy Awards Results - 1998

Sorry, I am a little late in posting this. I was waiting on a couple of stragglers.

Here are the results of the Grand Anagrammy Awards of 1998. The nominees were the category winners from each month.

These represent The Best of The Best of the combined brilliance of alt.anagrams.

In addition to the usual 10 categories of the Anagrammy Awards, there are 4 other Awards that will be given once a year.

Some of the longer anagrams here have been snipped to save space, but can be viewed on the History Page on the Anagrammy Website.

There were 5 winners from December, 2 from August and one each from July, September and October.

25 voters submitted their favourites.

General Category

This was the largest category with 10 contenders; 6 received votes. This category remained the most closely fought throughout the whole of the voting with the final vote ending in a deadlock. Now, I know that my usual thing has been to concede defeat if one of my anagrams is in a tie. However, on this occasion, I declared myself the winner, because the runner-up, Tom Myers, and his anagram ended up as winners in other categories.

1st. Larry Brash with:
Religion is the opium of the masses. =
Sometimes, if theologian is pusher.
8 votes

2nd. Tom Myers with:
Posted a file to the alt.anagrams newsgroup. =
Not a smart shot. Please grow up and get a life.
8 votes

3rd. Richard Brodie with:
Male erectile dysfunction. =
I can't fire semen, cutey doll.
3 votes


This being one of the newer categories, there were only 5 nominees, but all received votes. Meyran led this one all the way, but I caught up with him on the last vote. I gave the well-deserved win to Meyran, a specialist in this category, with an anagram of a painting of one of my favourite artists.

1st. Meyran Kraus with:
Caravaggio's "The Decapitation Of Saint John The Baptist". =
An artist, he jots 'beheading of a chap'. It's too captivating!
9 votes

2nd. Larry Brash with:
And they lived happily ever after. =
Help end the very vapid fairy tale.
9 votes

3rd. Art Day with:
"I Still Know What You Did Last Summer". =
Mutant slasher, dim kids - it'll wow you.
3 votes


4 nominees fought out this category (one was disqualified because of inaccuracy). William's win here was by the biggest margin in the competition. This was clearly the best of all the Clinton/Lewinsky/Starr anagrams this year. All the main characters got a mention in this highly topical anagram..

1st. William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
Whitehouse Intern Miss Monica Samille Lewinsky =
Hey! William Clinton arouses me. Hi! I'm Ken's witness!
13 votes

2nd. Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Independent Counsel Report. =
Let porn denounce President?
6 votes

3rd. Larry Brash with:
TIME's "Men of the Year" =
They met; remain foes.
4 votes


9 nominees here in the Rude Category. Richard's hilariously punny anagram was easily the most popular and finished strongly to pull well clear.

1st. Richard Brodie with:
The President stuck cigars into my vagina. =
Cunt? Depict it smoking. Give her an ass tray!
10 votes

2nd. Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Bernardo Bertolucci's "Last Tango in Paris" =
O! Born to place rancid butter in a girl's ass.
5 votes

3rd. Larry Brash with:
Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. =
A virgo intacta and a mum? Presume a lie!
4 votes


7 of the 9 nominees in this closely matched contest rated at least 2 votes. Johnnie Burning Elk and Sean held off several others in a blanket finish. I selected JBE's as the winner on the basis of better abuse of the spammer and the fact that he has maintained his long-term commitment to the group, whereas Sean posted a handful of 'grams and was never seen

1st. Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Make time and do this. =
Eat shit and die! OK... mm!
5 votes

2nd. Sean with:
Live free sex is just a click away. =
Jerk casually if excessive wait.
5 votes

eq 3rd. Larry Brash with:
"Look at this. This may be the most significant letter you receive this
year!!" =
"Hi, these scams are not legal, you shitty trickster. Ye be a thief. I
vomit on it!"
4 votes

eq 3rd. Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Acne, Dandruff, Acne Rosacea, Psoriasis, Seborrhea, Eczema, Dry Skin or Dry Hair. =
Paranoia/Schizoid Disorder, Amenorrhea, Canker Sufferers, Decays, Any Crabs.
4 votes


9 nominees took their blocks and 8 finished with votes. As with the General Category, Tom Myers and I were closely matched , but his very clever Christmas anagram kept a narrow lead. He is better known for his short
anagrams, but showed us that he was capable of the long ones, too.

1st. Tom Myers with:
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,........ [snipped]
7 votes

2nd. Larry Brash with:
To be or not to be: that is the question;.... [snipped]
5 votes

3rd. Steve Krakowski with:
"That's one small step for a man; one giant leap for Mankind.", Neil A.
Armstrong. =
A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on Moon. On
to Mars!
4 votes


Again, 9 contenders in this category, 7 collecting votes. William's dominance again shone through with a blazing finish picking up 6 of the 7
last votes.

1st. William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
The Artist formerly known as 'Prince' =
No first-rate workmanship recently!
11 votes

2nd. Jean Fontaine with:
Adolf Hitler. =
Heil, old fart!
5 votes

3rd. Larry Brash with:
Diana The Princess of Wales =
Elton's idea is crap. He fawns.
3 votes


Being a newer category, there were 5 nominees here, all scoring votes. Earle and Tom Myers went head and head all the way through, but Earle finished more strongly, scoring 4 of the last 5 votes.

1st. Earle Jones with:
Microsoft Corporation =
Or, Astronomic Profit Co.
10 votes

2nd. Tom Myers with:
Fayetteville, North Carolina. =
Fat violent reactionary hell.
8 votes

eq 3rd. Meyran Kraus with:
A Chevrolet =
Love the car!
3 votes

eq 3rd. Richard Brodie with:
Sleeman's Brewing & Malting Company Ltd. =
Mingling beer & lady's pants won't calm me.
3 votes


Of the 5 in this category, Richard began well and won comfortably, with what I would consider the essence of an anagram Set. Both anagrams reflected opposing views of subject line. All nominees received votes.

1st. Richard Brodie with:
In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. =
Nothing. Then divine heated breath generated change.
A high-tech bang detonating event ended in earth here.
10 votes

eq 2nd. Mick Tully with:
The Presidential Video. =
A vile, red-hot penis diet.
He stained it? Lie proved.
Evildoer in it? He's taped.
5 votes

eq 2nd. Meyran Kraus. with:
Paul Verhoeven's "Basic Instinct" =
Stone's velvet pubic hair? Can sin!
Seen Sharon's cunt via pelvic bit.
Her cunt's visible, is open & vacant.
5 votes


This is the newest category and 3 brilliant finalists made it here. It was fairly close, but Richard's Gettysburg Address deservedly received the most votes. This was his third win in this year Anagrammy Awards; an amazing feat.

1st. Richard Brodie with:
An anagram of the Gettysburg Address anagrammed into a rebuttal by Robert
E. Lee.
11 votes

2nd. Richard Brodie with:
An anagram of the 23rd Psalm
8 votes

3rd Jon Gearhart with:
An original poem anagrammed into another original poem.
6 votes.

Best Anagram Software

This is a yearly category. 14 voters did not use software, but of those who did Anagram Genius was a clear winner.

1st. William Tunstall-Pedoe for Anagram Genius
6 votes

Best Anagram Website

The hosts of the Anagrammy Awards, Herman Hiddema (the designer) and I (the maintainer) received 13 votes to win this yearly category.

Best Overall Individual Anagram

This is another yearly award. I was concerned that because there was so many great anagrams in the Grand Anagrammy, that no one anagram would rise above the others. My fears were ill-founded. I think the winner was appropriate and well deserved in several ways. Firstly, it contains a very funny reference to the newsgroup. Secondly, it reads beautifully and has correct grammar. Thirdly, it tied as a winner in a category. Of the 8 votes it received in the General Category, 5 voters selected it as the best overall.

Tom Myers with:
Posted a file to the alt.anagrams newsgroup. =
Not a smart shot. Please grow up and get a life.

I would like to now present one final award that I did not mention in the lead up to the Anagrammy Awards. As the Awardsmaster, I would like to acknowledge one of our number whose brilliance has been unmatched in alt.anagrams. He is the most inventive, witty and lateral-thinking member of this newsgroup. He toils endlessly to create some of the very best anagrams and is prodigious in his output. Be the content disgustingly rude, deeply religious or lyrically poignant, he can always be relied on to find a beautiful, meaningful and grammatical correct anagram.

It is no surprise that he has won a total of 12 Anagrammy Awards during this last year and that 3 of these went on to win Grand Anagrammy Awards. He received 49 votes of the total 250 category votes for his final 11

I would like to present the Awardsmaster's Choice Award for "Anagrammatist
of the Year" to none other than:

Richard Brodie.

Well done, Richard. Great work.

Congratulations to all the winners in the inaugral Grand Anagrammy Awards. The standard of the nominees has been excellent. I think that the Anagrammy Awards have lifted the quality of anagramming in the group and has been one important factor in the new popularity of alt.anagrams as a newsgroup.

I would like to thank everyone who voted in this year's Grand Anagrammy Awards. 25 votes was a very good turnout; the best ever. In particular, I would like to thank John Morahan for kindly checking the accuracy of all the anagrams. Thank you, John. I would also like to express my appreciation to those who email me their nominations and to everyone for their kind words and encouragement to keep me motivated to run this competition.

By the way, if anyone is keen to take over the reins as Awardsmaster in 1999, I would be happy to hand over this task. While it can be a bit time-consuming, at times, it is a very enjoyable job. Email me if you are interested. It's OK, folks, I'm not resigning, but I am happy to give someone else a chance to run it.

Updated: May 10, 2016


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