Here are the winners for the April 1999 Anagrammy Awards.
25 voters registered there votes, most in the first three days.
In future the voting period will be reduced to five days.
This month there was debate on the idea of having tied winners.
Up to now, I have had to decide on a winner in case of a tied
category result. The consensus has been to accept tied winners.
This will mean more nominations will make it to the Grand Anagrammy
in January 2000. Those who tied in the first 3 months of 1999 will
be eligible retrospectively.
At William Tunstall-Pedoe's suggestion, I have added a new category:
The Awardsmaster's Choice Award - for an exceptional anagram that
failed to win a category.
The General Category
12 nominees made it into this category, a little less than usual.
11 picked up at least one vote, but ID led all the way with this
brilliant 'gram. Richard's succinct gem kept up the early pace,
but ID finished strongly to win his first Anagrammy.
1st. ID Letterman with: 7 votes
Angina pectoris. =
In pain. Got scare.
2nd. Richard Brodie with: 4 votes
Note a climax.
eq 3rd. Daniel Fredrick Etter with: 3 votes
Statutory rape. =
"A tot?" "Yup." "Arrest."
eq 3rd. Mey Kraus with: 3 votes
A Sexually Transmitted Disease. =
Lays? Uses latex. AIDS terminated!
The Entertainment Category
Only 4 finalists this month, but it was a close contest nonetheless.
Kevin took an early lead, but was challenged by a late run from
Janet's punagram! This was Kevin's 3rd Anagrammy and well-deserved
with a very clever, apt anagram.
1st. Kevin Hale with: 12 votes
Eurovision Song Contest. =
I vote on cretinous songs.
2nd. Janet Muggeridge with: 10 votes
William Shakespeare's 'Antony and Cleopatra'. =
Play: "Caesar won: hard to sink. Asp, a-Nile-late me!"
3rd. Meyran Kraus with: 2 votes
Philip K. Dick's "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" =
Rick Deckard (H. Ford) dispelled machines? I oppose it!
The Topical Category
11 started in one of this month's better quality categories. Any one
of six gems could have one this one. Tom's 'gram was tight, apt and
strikingly forceful. Tom now joins Richard Brodie and myself as a
double-figure award winner with his 10th win.
1st. Tom Myers with: 5 votes
Albanian Refugees. =
A Serbian, a gun, flee!
eq 2nd. Janet Muggeridge with: 4 votes
Local government elections. =
Inane mongrels collect vote.
eq 2nd. Richard Brodie with: 4 votes
And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted:
Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified:
he is risen; he is not here:
behold the place where they laid him.
Christ the King! We cheer with joy thy adorable name.
His is a faith which ensures life.
He neutralized death. He opened the tomb.
He freed us of sin's ache.
The Rude Category
This month, the Rude Category lacked it's usual brilliant filth.
The 'grams were a little tame. Let's get back in the gutter and
talk dirty. Tom's little hummer rightly dominated the field. Number
11 for Mr Myers.
The Spam Category
Mey had two long spamagrams in this category; one of which I moved
to the Long Category. The remaining one had no trouble winning
here. His 8th Anagrammy.
1st. Mey Kraus with: 12 votes
"This is a one time mailing. You will not receive an e-mail from our company again. Thank you." =
"A tiny, illicit violation? Spamming me once? How generous of you! A real humanitarian..." Mey K.
eq 2nd. Janet Muggeridge with: 3 votes
Death to spam! =
Hate mad post!
eq 2nd. Mick Tully with: 3 votes
TEENS TAKING IT UP THE ASS FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! =
Shrieks: "Meatiest penetration - tight stuff!"
The Long Category
Only 2 in this category! Are we getting lazy or all the good
long ones ending up in the Special Category? Richard led on
Day One; Mey past him on Day Two and kept that narrow lead to
the end. Number 9 for Mey.
1st. Mey Kraus with: 13 votes
WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AVAILABLE FOR DSS, SATELITE OR DIGITAL CABLE SYSTEMS AND DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FOR THEM ANY TIME SOON. =
I exhibit a most annoying, ineffective spam that mentally-challenged nerds sent. A logo? "To Rob!"... Very sad. WAY too sad. It has to end!
2nd. Richard Brodie with: 11 votes
For we have all sinned, and come short of the glory of God. =
Severed off, from childhood, lower than angels, to agony.
The Name Category
Nine out of ten nominees got votes here in a fairly close
contest. Richard finished with three of the last five votes
to consolidate his position and win his 22th Anagrammy.
1st. Richard Brodie with: 7 votes
Russian leader, Nikita Kruschev bangs shoe on table in the General Assembly. =
Ha! I see angry, bald, soleless barbarian kicks heels at US government in the UN.
eq 2nd. Larry Brash with: 4 votes
Lee Harvey Oswald. =
Lay overhead. Slew!
eq 2nd. Kevin Hale with: 4 votes
Samson and Delilah. =
Slain handsome lad.
The Place Names Category
Two out of the seven nominations were the only real contenders
here. The last vote broke the tie. Mick's little gem snaeked
in to win. Mick's sixth Anagrammy.
1st. Mick Tully with: 10 votes
The Microsoft Corporation. =
Motto: Rich fornicates poor.
The Anagram Set Category
At 16, this was the biggest category. Richard again opened an
early lead which he maintained with his clever set about
Alzheimer's disease from which it is clear he is not suffering.
1st. Richard Brodie with: 6 votes
Alzheimer's Neurodegenerative Syndrome. =
A long, severe, dire memory seizure. And then ...
A neuron termed severely misorganized, eh?
Memory neutralized. Head's gone in reverse.
eq 2nd. Tom Myers with: 3 votes
The middle of nowhere. =
Do fondle with me here.
"Lift home?" he wondered.
The wormhole defined.
eq 3rd. Kevin Hale with: 3 votes
Eurovision Song Contest. =
I vote on cretinous songs.
Voices snore, not sing out.
Notorious voting scenes.
The Special Category
Four nominations here, but two picked nearly all the votes.
Richard's win was his 3rd this month and his 24th since the
Anagrammy Awards started. He never ceases to amaze and this
beauty was no exception. Mey's offering was very catchy and
provided worthy competition.
1st. Richard Brodie with: 15 votes
Upon an Usurer
Here lyes he underneath this stone,
That whilst he liv'd did good to none.
And therefore at the point to dye,
More cause had some to laugh then cry.
His eldest sonne thought he had wrong,
Because he lingred out so long,
But now he's dead, how ere he fares,
There's none that knows, nor none that cares.
Here on this site rests Mother Theresa.
O nun, beneath the earthen pall,
Who by thy works did thus to all:
Negated hate, negated sin;
One touching, solemn heroine.
Courageous nun! She understood;
One hundred thousand acts of good
Have crowned thee, saint of godly worth,
Who sleeps here underneath the earth.
2nd. Meyran Kraus with: 9 votes
Summer time and the living is easy
Fish are jumping and the cotton is high
Your dad is rich and your mom is so good looking
So hush little baby don't you cry
Hot season is here, humdrum is harmony;
Giddy cods coming, crop is tall.
Father has money and mother is just divinity;
I: You sobbing, kid? Enough. You got it all.
The Awardsmaster's Choice Award
This new category was suggested by William Tunstall-Pedoe a
s many great anagrams fail to win recognition when they are
beaten in a highly competitive category.
I felt that the Topical Category contained several gems this
month and at least another of them that did not win will not
be destined to obscurity. That one is:
Mike Hatton with: 3 votes
Trenchcoat Mafia. =
The Maniac Factor.
Mike came eq 4th, but I thought this one was very good, partly
because I also independently discovered it, but Mike posted it
before me. Surprisingly, this is Mike's first Anagrammy.