Anagrammy Awards Results - June, 1999

Welcome to the Anagrammy Awards for June 1999.

25 votes received - a little quieter than usual.

Without further ado, here are the winners. The envelope, please.........

General Category
There were 15 starters in the field and it was close all throughout the
voting, eventually ending in tie with Jon and Tom. Under the new rules
both will get an award. Tom's 13th Anagrammy, making him 4th in the
All-Time Winner List. Jon's 4th Anagrammy.

eq 1st. Tom Myers with: 4 votes
Oust Milosevic. =
Scum is too evil!

eq 1st. Jon Gearhart with: 4 votes
Stipend. =
Spend it.

eq 3rd. Earle Jones with: 3 votes
Armageddon. =
Goddam near.

eq 3rd. Janet Muggeridge with: 3 votes
Self-catering holidays. =
Ideal fling? Chores stay!

Entertainment Category
Mey's gem was certainly my pick in this category and he was never really
in doubt. A late charge by Ernesto caught Letterman for equal second.

1st. Meyran Kraus with: 9 votes
Sydney Pollack's Tootsie. =
Testicles on lady? Spooky...

eq 2nd.Ernesto Guiraldes with: 6 votes
James Dean & Natalie Wood in Rebel Without a Cause. =
Audiences saw both in awe: a Romeo and Juliet tale.

eq 2nd.I.D. Letterman with: 6 votes
Monty Python's "Life of Brian". =
Nifty info (blasphemy or not).

Topical Category
Another blitz by Mey. Like May, June has been a Kraus month, except that
he has done even better than in May.

1st Meyran Kraus with: 11 votes
The British Royal Wedding at Saint George's Chapel, Windsor. =
Two rising 'English Trash', Edward & Sophie, celebrating today.

2nd. Mick Tully with: 6 votes
Andre Agassi wins French Open. =
Ace's forehands reap winnings.

3rd. Tom Myers with: 5 votes
The House Gun Bill. =
One huge bullshit.

Rude Category
The lead changed hands here several times, with Mick the early leader,
then Jon caught and passed him, but Letterman burst through with a run
of 4 straight votes to win. His 3rd Anagrammy, winning one each month
since he has been with us.

1st. I.D. Letterman with: 8 votes
Ugly, stupid flesh. =
Delightful pussy.

eq 2nd. Jon Gearhart with: 6 votes
Another satisfied customer. =
Rotate inside her; Cum so fast.

eq 2nd.Mick Tully with: 6 votes
Enormous cunt? Oh, mouth five sticky fingers!

Spam Category
As soon as Meyran Super-spamagram was posted, I had no doubt he would
win this category. No contest!

1st. Mey Kraus with: 20 votes
We process over $4 Billion in credit card transactions every year.
We have over 100,000 merchants online and growing.
We offer secured on-line real time transactions.
We offer 24 hour customer service 7 days a week in 17 different languages.
We offer complete training and installation through our technical
support group.
We offer a life time warranty and unlimited upgrades.
We help make money for your company and your customers.
Fuckers who are in love with theirselves.
Spammers e-mailing feces.
Low-life wankers ruining our net.
Warts & acne covered nerds posting awful, used stuff to newsgroups.
Eerie Pyramid Scams.
"Our letter can change your life" crap.
A guarantee of "Double your money" or "40$ to 40,000$".
Every annoying, coffee\acid\cocaine-user pervert starting a letter with
"712 Pure Hardcore Porno Pics of 71 horny women..."
And a final one:
A moronic list I didn't want!

2nd. Mick Tully with: 2 votes
Great pictures,sex chat, and Streaming video! =
OUTRAGE! X-rated spam advertising. (Nice chest...)

3rd. Larry Brash with: 2 votes
Take few minutes to read it through and it will change your life only
followed some simple instructions! =
Hi, we anagram you fucking online spammers finely. Crud? We don't delete
it. Hell, it is worth lots of toil to us.

Long Category.

The Anagrammies would not be the Anagrammies without a win in the Long
or Special to Richard Brodie. This month followed the tradition, giving
Richard his 26th Anagrammy and maintained his position at the top of the
All-Time Winners List

1st. Richard Brodie with: 16 votes
"Preamble to the United States Constitution"
We the People of the United States, in Order to form
a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic
Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the
general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to
ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this
Constitution for the United States of America. =
Columbus to Perry, Edison to Einstein, Ruth to Ryan,
Reuter to Hoffa, Disney to Spielberg: O honored pioneers!
Adventurous to timid, carefree to burdened, refined
optimists to crude pessimists, enfeebled to health nuts;
Republicans to Democrats, Christians to Jews; Harlem to
Watts, Queens to Glendale, Fifth Avenue to Main Street,
Atlantic to Pacific: no lie, 'tis home to the free!

eq 2nd. Jon Gearhart with: 4 votes
Confucius said, "To know that we know what we know, and that we do not
know what we do not know, that is true knowledge." =
"To not know what we do know, and we know that we know that we do not
know; Is that true knowledge?" Confucius said, "WHAT?!?"

eq 2nd. Mike Keith (Domnei) with: 4 votes
I used to have
A liking, regard, admiration, fancy, unsearchable highs,
Affection, attachment, yearning for, passion,
Devotion, fervor, enthusiasm, idolatry.

I used to cherish, adore, sing your beauty, dote,
Be smitten - so smitten! - charmed, bewitched.
Ooh I shook, I was bitten, amatory, ill-in-love,
Swirling, soaring, sorrowless, alive, well.

I, hero?
Ask them if I loved you. =

What I now have is
Disaffection, disfavor, enmity, anomisity,
Umbrage, a grudge, a high dudgeon, bitterness of spleen,
Ill blood, acrimony, malice, a wish for revenge.

I hate, detest, abominate, abhor, loathe
Recoil at, shudder at, shrink from, see with horror,
Revolt against, scowl at, disrelish, dislike,
Conceive an aversion to you.

You stink in my nostrils.
I hate you.

Name Category.

I clung on to a narrow lead throughout, until I picked up three of the
last four votes. Often it is the shortest anagrams that have the biggest
impact. These nine little letters gave me my 21st Anagrammy.

1st. Larry Brash with: 9 votes
Milosevic. =
'Cos I'm evil.

2nd. Mey Kraus with: 5 votes
The Gorgon Medusa. =
"God! Her mug!"... a stone.

eq 3rd. Tom Myers with: 3 votes
Texas Governor Bush. =
Gun voter abhors sex.

eq 3rd. Mick Tully with: 3 votes
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair. =
Tally ho! NATO ran in, lynch Serb!

Place Category
A closely fought contest between new boy, Son Hong Nguyen, and old hand,
Mey. I am always pleased to see a newbie win and Mey has had plenty of
kudos in the last two months.

1st. Son Hong Nguyen with: 8 votes
Eastern Asia. =
It's near a sea.

2nd. Meyran Kraus with: 7 votes
The American Society of Cinematographers. =
It's a cameramen force- they're shooting a pic!

3rd. Mick Tully with: 5 votes
"Animal Hospital". =
Oh! Limp Alsatian.

Set Category.

Here he is again! Mey toppled Son on the last vote! An exciting tussle!

1st. Meyran Kraus with: 7 votes
A Penthouse Centerfold. =
No clothes? Nude, fare pet!
Pose half nude? Not erect!
Pose nude? Cheer- not flat!
See a cunt, fondle her top.

2nd. Son Hong Nguyen with: 6 votes
Slobodan Milosevic. =
Slavic blood is on me,
So I led Slavonic mob.

eq 3rd. Richard Brodie wrote: 3 votes
Mental institution. =
Limitation: ten nuts.
Let out instant I'm in.
Not emit until saint.

eq 3rd. Tom Myers with: 3 votes
Arrest Milosevic. =
Victims real sore!
More vile racists.
Overt lies, racism.
More racist evils.
Veto liar's crimes.

Special Category.

Our last category for this evening underwent some rule changes, allowing
nominees to have more than one special anagram and also giving
Anagrammies to each of the placegetters.

Usually one of these giants stands out, but not this month. All
candidates polled well and there was one surprise non-winner here (The Snark).

eq 1st. Mike Keith (Domnei) with: 6 votes
Raven Two. [snip]

eq 1st. Mey Kraus with: 6 votes
*The Little Boy and the Old Man
Shel Silverstein[snip]

2nd. Mike Keith (Domnei) with: 5 votes
[This anagram is a translation (as faithful as I could manage) of the
first four tercets of Canto III of Dante's "Inferno", from the original
early Italian into English.]

"Per me si va ne la citta dolente [snip]

Awardsmaster's Choice for a non-winning anagram.

There is only one choice I could have made for this and that is Jon
Gearhart's "The Snark". I think that it did not do better because of the
sheer enormity of it - it takes so long to read. However, it is because
of the huge task of anagramming this magnum opus, that I selected it. I
could not go unrecognised.

In conclusion, it is with some sadness that we mark the absence from the
group of Meyran Kraus who has been conscripted into the Israeli Army. We
do not know how long it will be before we hear from him not when he will
even hear of his successes. Mey leaves alt.anagrams in a blaze of glory
with a record 5 awards this month, ten in the last three months and 17
altogether to be 3rd in the All-Time Winners List.

We bow to you, Mey.

Updated: May 10, 2016


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