Anagrammy Awards Results - October, 1999

Here are the winners of the October 1999 Anagrammy Awards. 23 votes

The General Category
With 15 entries, this was always going to be close. Navigator led early
on, but Don Fortier gradually caught up with a burst on Day 3. Jon
Gearhart finished well to pick up the last 3 votes and third place.
This is Don's third award since he joined us fairly recently.

1st. Don P. Fortier with: 6 votes
The best laid plans of mice and men. =
And sometimes blind fate can help...

2nd. Navigator with: 5 votes
Rome was not built in a day. =
Any labour I do wants time.

3rd. Jon Gearhart with: 4 votes
Hermaphrodite. =
Adept him OR her.

The Entertainment Category
Another big category with 12 starters. We are used to see Mike Keith
winning in the Special Category, so this was a bit of a surprise win
for him. It's nice to see he can do shorter ones, too. He had a steady
lead through with the remaining votes being spread over almost the
entire field. Mike's 7th award.

1st. Mike Keith with: 7 votes
Isn't Calista Flockhart really sexy? =
She's flatly ill, tacky, anorexic star.

2nd. Tom Myers with: 3 votes
Wilt Chamberlain. =
Nice arm with ball!

eq.3rd - Andrew Denny with:
Star Wars, Episode One: The Phantom Menace =
"Space as entertainment? Whoops! Oh dear me!"

eq.3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
"If you or any of your I.M. Force is caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions." =
"Oy, why do you work for official liars like that (congressman or senator)?!"
"I get a fee."
"Your view - unduly icy cold!"

eq.3rd - Graham Perkins with:
Walking With Dinosaurs =
Ah, I know: "Wild Giants 'R' Us".

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Walking With Dinosaurs =
Ah, so win wild UK ratings.

The Topical Category
I felt the standard was lower than usual in this category this month.
Ben Zimmer was the runaway winner here with his first Anagrammy.

1st. Ben Zimmer with: 10 votes
Mars Climate Orbiter. =
Meter miscalibrator!

2nd. Art Day with: 4 votes
"Team Of The Century". =
The true fact? Money!

eq 3rd. Daniel F. Etter with: 3 votes
Nuclear accident. =
I can't duel cancer.

eq 3rd. Tom Myers with: 3 votes
Another Asian nuclear accident. =
Actual chain reaction seen. Darn!

The Rude Category
Nothing like a bit of toilet humour, isn't there? Daniel Etter
maintained a steady lead here and survived a later charge from Janet
Muggeridge. Nice to see Dan win his second Anagrammy, as he has been
more high profile recently.

1st. Daniel F Etter with: 8 votes
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. =
Which is better? Sip thy ol' tea? Do messy cunnilingus?

2nd. Janet Muggeridge with: 6 votes
Sanitary towel. =
Lay in sore twat.

3rd. Larry Brash with: 3 votes
"Old El Paso". =
Ladles poo.

The Spam Category
I have been trying to win this, my favourite category, for several
months, but the standard has been so high. This had all the ingredients
that I think should be in a good spamagram: keywords like "spam",
"Usenet" and "cash", and lots of abusive terms about the spammer. My
6th award this year.

1st. Larry Brash with: 13 votes
Here's A great place to find everything you need for business and
Christmas. =
Send in cash? Gad! Get your very shit-brained spam off Usenet,

2nd. Jon Gearhart with: 6 votes
Please check us out for all you gift and shopping needs. =
(1) Slide the log up ass. (2) Crap. (3) Then go fondle a penis, you

3rd. Don P Fortier with: 4 votes
My name is Ron, I'm 24 and I hate getting spammed, so this message is
personalized just for you! =
Motto: Get prize inanity from spamming jughead 24 hours a day! Immense
ass! Senseless idiot!

The Long Category
Don Fortier has really got into top gear since joining us in recent
months. He picked up nominations in most categories and won to two. The
voting was close on the first day, but Don did well in the middle and
was untroubled by my late finishing run.

1st. Don P Fortier with: 9 votes
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date =
Shakespeare's truly grand romantic
love poem added seasonal themes :
Told adored maid how her beauty
might almost shame that of Mother Nature.
Lush, really amorous!

2nd. Larry Brash with: 6 votes
Please check us out for all you gift and shopping needs. We carry
things from adventure trips, art, lodging, gifts, furniture, golf,
cosmetics, herbs and vitamins and much, much more. =
I'm another bloody uncaring spammer who posts her fucking fraud to
alt.anagrams. I spend lots of hectic hours spamming Usenet. I sell
defective crud, frigging defunct TV's. Hurry!

3rd. Richard Brodie with: 4 votes
Proverbs 20:1
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging:
and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. =
Martinis, whisky, gin, screwdrivers? Tie one on in bars?
I'd avoid these grogs. We need Coke!

The Name Category
We do not get many ties in the Anagrammies, but there was one here.
Richard Brodie was an easy first day leader, but Dan Etter caught him
on the second last day. Votes were spread evenly over the field of
seven noms. Richard's 15th Award this year and 31st overall. Second win
this month for Dan and his 3rd this year.

Eq 1st. Richard Brodie with: 5 votes
Tonya Harding. =
Darn hit! Agony!

Eq 1st. Daniel F Etter with: 5 votes
A Homer Simpson. =
Mr. Homo Sapiens.

3rd. Tom Myers with: 4 votes
Senator Slade Gorton. =
So large and so rotten.

The Place Names Category
This was remarkably close throughout. Tom Myers had a small lead on Day
1 and fought off challenges from Andrew Denny and Dan Etter. Tom is
having a good year in the Anagrammies with 13 wins, giving him a total
of 19 and 4th place in the All-Time Winners List.

1st. Tom Myers with: 6 votes
Intel Celeron Processor out. =
Serious teen-porn collector.

Eq 2nd. Andrew Denny with: 5 votes
Houses of Parliament. =
Is an atmosphere foul.

Eq 2nd. Daniel F. Etter with: 5 votes
The Berlin Wall. =
We'll ban Hilter.

The Anagram Set Category
Janet tells me that she has been going through an uncreative patch
recently, but this set was a popular winner for her and hopefully a
sign of a creative future. Her 7th Anagrammy which moves her to equal
6th in the All-Time Winners List.

1st. Janet Muggeridge with: 10 votes
Porcelain toilets. =
To clear piles into.
Lose crap in toilet.
Crap lies on toilet.
Septic latrine/loo.
Note pale clitoris.

2nd. Tom Myers with: 6 votes
Yeltsin In Hospital. =
Insanity? Still hope?
He's ill, nation tipsy.
Ill? Pity. He's no saint!

Eq 3rd. Wayne Baisley with: 3 votes
Four Weddings and a Funeral. =
DUI: Ronald W. Reagan Snuffed.
New Deal Fad: Unfairgrounds.
Diana's Underground Waffle.
A Is For Anal: We'd Refund Dung.
DNA: Awful Dangerous Friend.

Eq 3rd. Richard Brodie with: 3 votes
Reba McEntire's Ranch House =
Reach her mansion: best cure.
Embrace her south inn's care.
A nice southerner's chamber.
No such tears in her embrace.
Has nice cure? Amen, brothers!

The Special Category
There were some surprises here this month. The Masters of this
category, Keith, Gearhart and Brodie stood aside, and others move to
the fore. I posted David Bourke's entry and I knew that it would be
serious contender, although I actually voted for Mey Kraus' gem. Dan
Fortier was a creditable 3rd place getter.

1st. David Bourke with: 8 votes
Diana, The Princess Of Wales [snip]

2nd. Mey Kraus with: 5 votes
╩Sylvia Plath
╩Words [snip]

3rd. Dan Fortier with: 5 votes
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, [snip]

Awardsmaster's Choice Award (for best non-winning anagram)

As always, this was a tough choice. Navigator looked like winning the
General Category at one stage and I felt that he deserved the award.

Navigator with:
Rome was not built in a day. =
Any labour I do wants time.

Updated: May 10, 2016


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