Anagrammy Awards Results - December, 1999


Here are the results of the last Anagrammy for 1999 (not counting the
Grand Aanagrammy).

25 votes recived (an average month)

And the winners are.....


The General Category
The was a close contest throughout with no clear contenders until Mey
Kraus and myself made a break from the pack. Mey held a small lead til
I caught him on the 3rd last vote. Mey's 16th win this year, my 9th.

Eq 1st: Mey Kraus with: 6 votes
Garbageman. =
Bag manager.

Eq 1st: Larry Brash with: 6 votes
I love cats. They taste just like chicken. =
I ate those juicy kittens? Heck! Call vets!

Eq 3rd: Richard Grantham with: 3 votes
Is there life before death?=
Both are shit. Die? Feel free.

Eq 3rd: Graham Perkins with: 3 votes
The Sin of Adultery. =
Try "head", it's fun. Ole!

The Entertainment Category
Another very close with a three way tie until the last 2 votes reducing
that to a two way tie, My commiserations to Chuck Davis would lead most
of the time, but was just pushed out. This was Richard's second
Anagrammy and Mey's 17th for the Year.

Eq 1st: Richard Grantham with: 8 votes
Salvador Dali's 'The Persistence of Memory'. =
Sparse olive rod and/or shy face: time melts.

Eq 1st: Mey Kraus with: 8 votes
Robert Schumann. =
Brahms' Nocturne.

3rd: Chuck Davis with: 7 votes
Late Show with David Letterman. =
Wave hard, handsome little twit!

The Topical Category
A large field of 12 starters fought this one out. David Conrad took a
commanding lead on Day 1 and held on to win. Nice to see at least one
category going to a newbie.

1st: David R. Conrad with: 6 votes
Twas the night before Christmas. =
Ah, Christ, bet he wants more gifts.

Eq 2nd: Richard Grantham with: 4 votes
The deoxyribonucleic acid molecule. =
Let a helix doubly coincide. Come, cure!

Eq 2nd: Janet Muggeridge with: 4 votes
Muhammad Ali is the 'BBC Sports Personality of the Century'. =
Formerly Cassius Clay, potent hitter bobs, I had mean thump.

Eq 2nd: T. Wig with: 4 votes
year two thousand. =
a date so unworthy.

The Rude Category
This category see-sawed considerably. Jon Gearhart started
magnificently with 4 votes on Day 1 and then never picked up another
vote. Richard Grantham continued to steadily gather enough votes to
pass him towards the end. His second win this month.

1st: Richard Grantham with: 6 votes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue. =
Beavers? I'd leer,
Arses rule, too!

2nd: Larry Brash with: 5 votes
Aribu Publication Enterprises. =
Lubricate penis. Put biro in arse.

Eq 3rd: Jon Gearhart with: 4 votes
"If you offered me a 69 this morning, I'd have been all over you."
Golfer SAM TORRANCE, BBC 2. =
Feel me come feverish if nibble at my sac, hard boner. Tongue drool for
your vagina.

Eq 3rd: Earle Jones with: 4 votes
Homosexuality. =
O, oil my exhaust.

The Spam Category
Only 4 nominations, but they were all very long. Because of this recent
phemomenon, a vote was undertaken to consider splitting this caetgory
into short and long spam. Small spamagrams are not winning and even
have trouble getting nominated.

I expected this one to be closer, but Richard Grantham was an easy
winner. Clearly the voters preferred Richard's hilariously rude
offering over Mey's eloquent and touching reply to the worst low-life,
teen porn spammers. Three awards in this month for Richard who has
really made his stamp on alt.anagrams.

1st: Richard Grantham with: 11 votes
Get Paid to Surf the Web.
Are you an Internet User? [snip]

2nd: Mey Kraus with: 7 votes
* BARELY LEGAL TEEN SLUTS
* LIVE SEX WITH SOUND [snip]

3rd: Jon Gearhart with: 5 votes
Dear friend:
Please to Free Sex Links[snip]

The Long Category
All the work that I put into this one worked out well. It lead from the
beginning and continued to surge had. My 10th win for 1999.

1st: Larry Brash with: 11 votes
On the Twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me[snip]

Eq 2nd: Richard Brodie with: 4 votes
My son, eat thou honey, because it is good;
and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste. =
Oh, you wish candy? Chew on this tasty goo made by bees.
Hesitate not, oh teeth; consume it!

Eq 2nd: Linda Garret with: 4 votes
What is the answer to life the universe and everything? =
The Darwin Theory. If ET's alien genes survive, what then?

The Name Category
Another relatively new and talented anagrammer, David Bourke, did well
this month. A late rush of votes to Mey did not change the result.
David's second win this 1999.

1st: David Bourke with: 10 votes
Elvis Aaron Presley. =
Seen alive? Sorry, pal!

2nd: Mey Kraus with: 7 votes
American President John Fitzgerald Kennedy. =
Crazy sniper named Lee ended JFK? No, ain't right.

3rd: Larry Brash with: 3 votes
Graeme Stirling. =
Girlie garments.

The Place Names Category
If David did well in the Name Category, then he really shone here,
taking the name double. His third win in 1999.

1st: David Bourke with: 13 votes
The Houses Of Parliament. =
Top man here's a foul shite.

Eq 2nd: Richard Grantham with: 5 votes
Orchidectomy. =
D.I.Y.? O, me crotch!

Eq 2nd: Will Quayle with: 5 votes
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch =
Loony Gwill polling craggy Welsh town: froggy ally drag? Blown chilly!

The Anagram Set Category
This category has been much quieter in the last 3 months with only 4-5
nominations, compared with a dozen or more in the past. Janet had 5 of
the first 9 votes on Day one and never slowed down. Her review of male
sexual fiobles was obviously appreciated. Janet worries that she has
lost her touch. No way! Her 9th Anagrammy.

1st: Janet Muggeridge with: 12 votes
Penis enlargement. =
Pleasing men enter.
Gel earn semen pint.
Leering, pant, "semen!"
Men, preen genitals.
Sneer, ample gent in.

2nd: Daniel F. Etter with: 6 votes
I've got my period. =
My pit! I've red goo!
Pity mood. Grieve.
Gory pee? I'd vomit!

3rd: Tom Myers with: 4 votes
She's a looker. =
Loose? Ask her!
Arse hole's OK.
Hooker's sale.
Sores heal OK.
OK, he's a loser

The Special Category
This was an exciting contest between three of the big names of this
category. The lead changed hands with every batch of votes that came
in. I feel that the points system really enhances the competition.
Although the first three will get an Anagrammy, only the winner get a
chance at the Grand Anagrammy. This was Keith's 9th win, Richard's 16th
and Jon's 12th.

1st: Mike Keith with: 29 points
No by Thomas Hood [snip]

2nd: Richard Brodie with: 28 points
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: [snip]

3rd: Jon Gearhart with: 23 points
TO THE HOLY SPIRIT, [snip]

The Awardsmaster Choice Award for the Best Non-winning Anagram

I had to read and reread the list before finally picking Mey's runner
up in the Spam Category. It was different to our usual full-on abuse of
spammers. Instead, he castigated the spammer then lists how the world
should be. I think it is worth reprinting in full:

* BARELY LEGAL TEEN SLUTS
* LIVE SEX WITH SOUND
* OVER SIX THOUSAND VIDEO FEEDS
* UNLIMITED FREE VIDEO SEX
* HARDCORE CELEBRITY PICS
* TENS OF 1OOOs OF FREE HARDCORE PICTURES
╩THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORLD'S BEST PORN SITE !! YOU WANT IT ..... WE
GOT IT .... ALL HERE - E V E R Y T H I N G !!
WE SURE HOPE YOU ARE CUMMING TO SEE US!
WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS CLICK!!
╩http://www.freeyellow.com/members6/deplace1/index.html. =
* VIOLATION OF INNOCENT GIRLS
* EXCRUCIATING SCREAMS
* DIRTY MOVIES
* LOVELESS INTERCOURSE
* UNREAL VIPs FUCK
* EXTREMELY CHEAP PHOTOS
=
To low-duty buttholes:
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
The world will be better if you didn't exist:
Where I read my messages without 161,OOO lists...
Where Spam is beef...
Where children experience life, not torture...
Where twits get offed and go with god...
Where there is peace.

I would like to thank everyone for voting during 1999. Without your
interest, the Anagrammy would have died at an early age. I would like
to thank my tireless helpers, Jon Gearhart and John Morahan, for
sharing the job with. Thanks, guys, I could not do it without you.

The voting system in the Special Category has been so well received
that I have decided to use it for every category in the Grand
Anagrammy. If this works, then I'll introduce it for all competitions
in 2000.


Updated: May 10, 2016


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