Anagrammy Awards Results - Grand Anagrammy, 1999

Traa tat tat taaa tat tat

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the presentation of the 1999 Grand Anagrammy Awards.

This is the culmination of a very successful year's anagramming by the members of alt.anagrams. The entrants in the first ten categories were the monthly winners of the Anagrammy Awards.

Five additional awards will be made, including the Best Overall Anagram of the Year, the Best Aanagram Software, the Best Anagram Website, the Most Decorated Anagrammatist of the Year and the coveted Awardsmaster's Choice Award for the Best Anagrammatist of the Year. A special award has also been made for the Anagram of the Millenium.

This Grand Anagrammy is the second to be held since the inaugral Anagrammy Award in March 1998. This was the first Anagrammy to use a new format of scoring with points being allotted for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places. This has been well-received with positive comments by several members. This has given us an excellent competition with frequent changes of leaders throughout the contest.

To keep up with the rapid position changes in the various categories, a Leader Board has been estabished and updated once or twice a day.

These two innovations will be added to the monthly Aanagrammy Awards.

So, without further ado, here are the Grand Anagrammy Awards for 1999.

General Category

This was a cliff-hanger. The lead changed with almost every batch of votes received. The last vote that came in decided the competition. Art Day's sneaked in to win, but the 2nd and 3rd placegetters had both lead at various times.

1st. Art Day with: 20 points
Gin and Vermouth. =
Hung over, damn it!

2nd. John Morahan with: 19 points
Stone age. =
Stage one.

3rd. Don P. Fortier with: 18 points
The best laid plans of mice and men. =
And sometimes blind fate can help.

Entertainment Category

This one came down to a race between David Bourke and myself. It remained close until the 4th Day, when David opened a small lead, but a couple of second choices for mine jumped me into the lead and an eventual one point win.

1st. Larry Brash with: 21 points
The Three Stooges: Larry, Curly and Moe. =
Actors? Lord, they're an ugly threesome!

2nd. David Bourke with: 20 points
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.points =
Crap LP sung by the LSD-prone Beatles.

3rd. Meyran Kraus with: 13 points
Sydney Pollack's Tootsie. =
Testicles on lady? Spooky...

Topical Category

This has traditionally been the domain of Tom Myers and it was not surprising that he had four anagrams in the field. However, there was some strong competition from several others. It was another close contest with Tom holding off late charges from ID Letterman and myself.

1st. Tom Myers with: 20 points
Bosnian War Crimes. =
Serbian racism won.

eq 2nd. Letterman with: 19 points
A tragedy strikes the Kennedy house again. =
It's a dark sky. The eager young end in the sea.

eq 2nd. Larry Brash with: 19 points
Medicinal marijuana. =
A cure? I'm in a damn jail.

eq 2nd. Tom Myers with: 19 points
Warning to Milosevic. =
Violent war is coming!

Rude Category

The was a case of "size does count", but only just. My little rude 'gram gave Don P. Fortier's monster spamagram a good run for its money. In fact, the last vote put him back into the lead that had see-sawed all the way through.

1st. Don P. Fortier with: 28 points
This is not spam. You are receiving this because [snip] =
Okay, irate viewers, I'll concede I'm a rotten bastard. [snip]

2nd. Larry Brash with: 26 points
Coitus interruptus. =
Cunt users rip it out!

3rd Janet Muggeridge with: 18 points
Satin negligees. =
Seeing genitals.

Spam Category

The era of the giant spamagrams appears to be hear to stay. So much so, that a new category of Long Spam Category has been created for the Year 2000 Anagrammies. Fittingly, it was one of these that took each of the first four places. Richard Grantham's brilliantly rude spamagram jumped ahead on Day 5 with three consecutive first choices (a quick 9 points) and finished well clear of two of Mey Kraus's famous list style spamagrams.

1st. Richard Grantham with: 27 points
Get Paid to Surf the Web.
Are you an Internet User? [snip]=
Are you in a rut? Dead bored? Or just a sadarse? Read on and learn[snip]

2nd. Mey Kraus with: 21 points
No Working!!!!![snip]=
No Uncaring Internet Felons!!!!!
No "Quick-Cash, So Log On" Conning![snip]

3rd. Mey Kraus with: 18 points

Long Category

I had a feeling that I might do well here, but going up against a handful of Richard Brodie's mighty mega-anagrams stopped me from feeling overconfident. I opened the first day with a nice 10 points, but Richard's clever Boy Scout antigram caught up on Day 2. A strong showing on the last three days gave me a solid win. Interestingly, it was Tom Myer's Twelve Days of Christmas that won last year Grand Anagrammy in this category.

1st. Larry Brash with: 33 points
On the Twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:[snip] =
I've anagrammed:
Twenty three assorted birds (no wrens),[snip]

2nd. Richard Brodie with: 18 points
A Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. =
Lie! The boy of terror: Rotten, False, Berserk, Truculent, Rude, Uncivil, Elfish, Nasty, Cheap, Cowardly, Filthy, and Undevout.

3rd. Don P Fortier with: 18 points
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:[snip] =
Shakespeare's truly grand romantic love poem added seasonal themes [snip]

Name Category

Wayne Baisley broke free of the pack on Day 3 and looked the goods, but a strong finish from David Bourke narrowed the gap and caught him on the last vote. Both will be awarded a Grand Anagrammy.

Eq 1st. Wayne Baisley with: 22 points
Chairman Mao. =
I am on a march.

Eq 1st. David Bourke with: 22 points
Elvis Aaron Presley. =
Seen alive? Sorry, pal!

3rd. Don P Fortier with: 20 points
George Bush. =
He bugs Gore.

Place Category

Tom Myers was the consistent performer here with a good start which he shared with Dan Fortier. He steadily amassed points and easily held off a late challenge by Dan.

Tom Myers with: 30 points
United Parcel Service. =
Accept, insure, deliver.

Dan Fortier with: 24 points
United States Of America. =
Its cause: attain freedom.

Mick Tully with: 19 points
The Microsoft Corporation. =
Motto: Rich fornicates poor.

Anagram Set Category

Richard Brodie had four starters here in what has become another of his favourite categories. Good challenges came from Mey Kraus and Don Fortier, but Richard won the day with a modest margin.

Richard Brodie with: 26 points
He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the LORD. =
Doth not the Jew tend to hate the Arab, and the Limey oft evoke Irish hate? Hatch not then the dumb injustice. [snip]

Meyran Kraus with: 22 points
A Penthouse Centerfold. =
No clothes? Nude, fare pet!
Pose half nude? Not erect!
Pose nude? Cheer- not flat!
See a cunt, fondle her top.

Don P Fortier with: 17 points
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. =
Sacred martyrs bought land a blessing.
Oh, stand gently amid rags, scars, rubble.
Battles bred such grand moral sayings.

Special Category

And now on to the last of our regular categories, the Special Category which was in it's infancy this time last year. It is a category that has undergone many rule changes, but the most exciting thing that it has attracted the talents of some of the most creative anagrammatists in the world today.

The category was originally dominated by Richard Brodie, Mey Kraus and Jon Gearhart, until Mike Keith suddenly appeared on the scene and flabbergasted all of us with his brilliance. Winning a staggering 7 Special Category Awards (6 wins and one minor placing), he entered this event as an odds-on favourite. He did not disappoint.

The minor places were hotly contested, too, with the final vote promoting Jon Gearhart to 3rd and Don Fortier back to 5th.

The first three will all be awarded a Grand Anagrammy.

1st. Mike Keith with: 26 points
This is a "doubly-true anagram"

2nd. Mike Keith with: 21 points
A rewiting of "The Raven" by Edgar Alan Poe.

3rd. Jon Gearhart with: 17 points
A rearrangement of Billy Joel's "Piano Man".

4th. Mike Keith with: 16 points
The first text in this anagram set is Shakespeare's sonnet #60.

5th. Don P. Fortier with: 15 points
Another rearrangement of Billy Joel's "Piano Man"

Best Overall Anagram for 1999

There were so many great anagrams from which to choose that I was worried that no one of them would rise above the pack to win. In is in its glorious entirety:

Don P. Fortier with:
This is not spam. You are receiving this because you have sent me information about your program or opportunity and I appreciate it. I would like to reciprocate because many of you would like to retire, financially, within 6-9 months, as I will. Let me keep it short and direct. I have extremely valuable information to share with you.involves a private club and wealth building along with asset preservation. The best part is you DO NOT have to recruit or sell if you choose not to. Just being a member will avail you to unbelievable wealth building tools and information formerly reserved only for the rich and famous. If you want to test me on my claim to retire with this, financially, within my first 6-9 months, do yourself a favor and click here
Okay, irate viewers, I'll concede I'm a rotten bastard. I'm a bitch for this ridiculous crap on USENET. But I've received a lot of moolah previously with alt.binary files of me and a goat in "69" sex (a real rarity). Unfortunately the "69" biting has almost ruined my penis : his teeth chewed it and it's terribly ugly, and no woman will have me. And I use a powerful "GLUE" to "preserve my member". Pervert jerks will buy this stuff, but I hurt too much when I pee. If you want to try it, I'll provide you the name of every loony moron or flaky twit inside our circle who'll pay for that shit. Drop me a note . Ciao!PS I really love sucking that goat, but I won't imbibe urine.I hate those animal control men or accusations of "an oral sodomy violation"...not a violation if I have consent, is it?

Best Anagram Software

Well, no surprises here! William Tunstall-Pedoe's masterpiece, Anagram Genius, won with 10 of the 14 votes cast (8 voters did not use any software). It was the second year running that AG (as it is affectionately known) won and it is hard to see that it will ever be usurped from this position.

Best Anagram Website

The size of the field in this category doubled in the last 12 months and the competion was much fiercer. Last year's winner, my Anagrammy Website was strongly challenged by William's AG Archive and Janet Muggeridge's new website.

1st. Anagrammy Awards by Larry Brash 6 votes

2nd. Anagram Genius Archive by William Tunstall-Pedoe 5 votes

3rd. Janet's Word Play by Janet Muggeridge. 4 votes

The Anagram of the Millennium

These anagrams were selected from a number nominated and contain a mixture of old and new anagrams, but excluded any in the current Grand Anagrammy. I regret not having allowed 3 choices here as I had done in the other categories.

Eventually, one of the simplest, but cleverest, anagrams won very
easily. Many have tried to match its mathemical simpleness without the
same success.

Martin Gardner with: 8 votes
Eleven plus two. =
Twelve plus one.

The Award for the Most Decorated Anagrammatist of 1999

This went to Mey Kraus with 18 wins in the monthly Anagrammy Awards,
including an amazing 5 wins in June, the month that he began his
military service. He has won in nearly every category and is equally
skilled with short and very long anagrams. A close 2nd was Richard
Brodie with 17 wins and Tom Myers 3rd with 15.

The Awardsmaster's Choice Award for the Best Anagrammatist of 1999

I had to give this a lot of thought to select the winner of this award.
Would it be Mey with his huge number of wins despite his time spent
doing his milatry service? Would it be last year's winner Richard
Brodie who had 17 wins this year? Would it be any one of a host of
other brilliant anagrammatists who frequent alt.anagrams?

In the end, I decided that the winner would have to shine in the Grand
Aanagrammy, as well as having an impressive record throughout the year.

With that in mind, the final choice was easy.

To that Grandmaster of the Special Category, the man who brought us the
Raven Two, the Doubly True Elements, the many literary versions of
Sonnet #60 and other unforgettable long gems and even some short ones,
the Award goes to Mike Keith.

This has been a truly great Grand Anagrammy Awards. The standard has
been amazingly good and making even three choices in each category has
been a difficult task for the voters. The new voting system and the
Leader Board appear to have been well accepted and will be continued
this year.

I would like to thank everyone for your support, encouragement,
constructive criticism and kind words during 1999. The good turnout of
voters each month makes it a job worth doing.

I am also deeply indebted to my tireless assistants, Jon Gearhart and
John Morahan, for their help this year. Many thanks. Without you guys I
could not do the job.

Updated: May 10, 2016


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