Anagrammy Award Winners - 1999

Here are all the winners of Anagrammy Awards in 1999. All anagrams have been checked for accuracy by John Morahan and Richard Grantham.

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

January 1999

General Category:
Art Day with:
Gin and Vermouth =
Hung over, damn it!
Entertainment Category:
Paul Lusch with:
"I Can't Get No Satisfaction" =
A fantastic song - notice it!
Topical Category:
Tom Myers with:
Bosnian War Crimes =
Serbian racism won.
Rude Category:
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"The brain? It's my second favorite organ" =
A ragin' hardon's my first bet. I covet one.
Spam Category:
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"Hello, I would like to take this chance to tell you how you can get to heaven, and live with God for all eternity" =
Know the theological novelty? Hinted how to levitate, arsehole? We all laughed, fuckin' idiot! O, runty acolyte!
Long Category:
Richard Brodie with:
A Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. =
Lie! The boy of terror: Rotten, False, Berserk, Truculent, Rude, Uncivil, Elfish, Nasty, Cheap, Cowardly, Filthy, and Undevout.
People's Names Category:
Wayne Baisley with:
Chairman Mao =
I am on a march.
Other Names Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Minced Lamb Veg Hotpot =
Belch, vomit and get mop.
Anagram Set Category:
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca =
Canny hero, trim gal, a Casbah pub...
Play at bar, Sam! Burn aching echo!
Ambush, by hangar, entail cop car.
Special Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed be the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
=
Numerous Rosary's: by them we let earth fondly honor a noble, beautiful matriarch, wife of Joseph, and daughter of Israel, by whom and through whom the goodness of the Master is fully demonstrated.
=
The Holy Mom would be horrified at this folly. What a bad and enormous waste of human energy. When men repeat formula to honor Christ, God refuses. Beads debase. Just thoroughly transform thy life!

List of all nominated anagrams for January 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

February 1999

General Category:
Wayne Baisley with:
Genetically modified food =
Died of E. coli, FDA lying to me.
Entertainment Category:
Steve Krakowski with:
"Treasure Island" by Robert Louis Stevenson =
A lesson's been due, boy! Silver turns traitor.
Topical Category:
Janet Muggeridge with:
Weather forecast: it will be very mild and sunny today =
Met. data didn't tell: rainy, icy, we shovel February snow.
Rude Category:
Larry Brash with:
Coitus interruptus =
Cunt users rip it out!
Spam Category:
Paul Equinox Collins with:
A little while back, I was browsing through some newsgroups, just like you are now. I came across an article similar to this that said you could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial investment of six dollars! I thought: "Damn, this must be a scam and illegal." =
It was, but as that didn't stop you, you chose to vex us all with a new incarnation of the same limited story. Oh, I wish this jerk's cash claims were true, but I know such unmitigated trash is illegal and lacks kudos. So, we ignore mail or blame? O no! I'll find anagrams among all this swill.
Long Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? =
So, can he pee on ice and both of gonads not turn blue?
People's Names Category:
Art Day with:
Pat Robertson =
...or bent pastor?
Other Names Category:
Dan Fortier with:
United States Of America =
Its cause: attain freedom.
Anagram Set Category:
Tom Myers with:
Easter Holiday =
Deathly, I arose!
Arise! Holy date.
Deity heal, soar.
Special Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
The Libyan desert =
Let's be in dry heat!
The Sahara desert =
Ass rather heated...
The Nubian desert =
Burned in the east.
The Gobi desert =
Be hot? Gets dire!
The Great Australian desert =
Gets real arid. Sun? Heat-treat!

List of all nominated anagrams for February 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

March 1999

General Category:
Janet Muggeridge with:
So what is my Intelligence Quotient, please? =
You get 'nil' in select Mensa test: low IQ. Hi, ape!
Entertainment Category:
Jon Boehnker with:
Disney's "The Lion King" =
Enlighten noisy kids.
Topical Category:
Tom Myers with:
Warning to Milosevic =
Violent war is coming!
Rude Category:
Paal Kristen Hansen with:
Life sucks =
I fuck less.
Spam Category:
Mick Tully with:
FREE PORNO PICS =
I prefer no cops.
Long Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Then were the king's scribes called on the thirteenth day of the first month, and there was written according to all that Haman had commanded unto the king's lieutenants, and to the governors that were over every province, and to the rulers of every people of every province according to the writing thereof, and to every people after their language; in the name of king Ahasuerus was it written, and sealed with the king's ring.
=
A day short of two weeks into Nisan, the husband of Vashti gave silver unto a cruel Agagite who wanted to kill every man, woman, and child of Mordecai's people on the thirteenth of Adar. So then the charming, pretty Esther, a poor, free teenage virgin who gained acceptance in the royal courts, ventured to flirt with the king, who then, preferring to trust her, reversed the sentence, arresting and even killing the demented tyrant.
People's Names Category:
Daniel F. Etter with:
John Maynard Keynes =
Hands any jerk money.
Other Names Category:
Janet Muggeridge with:
Highlands of Scotland =
Och, hills and daft song.
Anagram Set Category:
Earle Jones with:
A virus named Melissa =
Invade mass mail user.
Assume mail invaders.
Madness via user mail.
Special Category:
Jon Gearhart with:
Piano Man

List of all nominated anagrams for March 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

April 1999

General Category:
ID Letterman with:
Angina pectoris =
In pain. Got scare.
Entertainment Category:
Kevin Hale with:
Eurovision Song Contest =
I vote on cretinous songs.
Topical Category:
Tom Myers with:
Albanian Refugees =
A Serbian, a gun, flee!
Rude Category:
Tom Myers with:
Morning erections =
Crooning "insert me!"
Spam Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
"This is a one time mailing. You will not receive an e-mail from our company again. Thank you." =
"A tiny, illicit violation? Spamming me once? How generous of you! A real humanitarian..." Mey K.
Long Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AVAILABLE FOR DSS, SATELITE OR DIGITAL CABLE SYSTEMS AND DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FOR THEM ANY TIME SOON. =
I exhibit a most annoying, ineffective spam that mentally-challenged nerds sent. A logo? "To Rob!"... Very sad. WAY too sad. It has to end!
People's Names Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Russian leader, Nikita Kruschev bangs shoe on table in the General Assembly =
Ha! I see angry, bald, soleless barbarian kicks heels at US government in the UN.
Other Names Category:
Mick Tully with:
The Microsoft Corporation =
Motto: Rich fornicates poor.
Anagram Set Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Alzheimer's Neurodegenerative Syndrome =
A long, severe, dire memory seizure. And then...
A neuron termed severely misorganized, eh?
Memory neutralized. Head's gone in reverse.
Special Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Upon an Usurer
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Mike Hatton with:
Trenchcoat Mafia =
The Maniac Factor.

List of all nominated anagrams for April 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

May 1999

General Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
Dangerous Narcotic =
Snort a drug - Cocaine.
Entertainment Category:
ID Letterman with:
The impossible dream =
His idea met problems.
Topical Category:
Janet Muggeridge with:
'The Sun' apologises to Sophie Rhys-Jones =
I so enjoy a topless photo ruse, Highness!
Rude Category:
Janet Muggeridge with:
Satin negligees =
Seeing genitals.
Spam Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
This "Hot", new, technology will also allow you to (realistically) make $2-5,000 in less than 30 days part-time! =
Hey, 'Netwit'! This totally cool anagram shall only cost you 500 dollars. Please mail it within 20-30 weeks.
Long Category:
Richard Brodie with:
"All truth passes through three stages:
first, it is ridiculed;
next it is violently attacked;
finally, it is held to be self-evident."
- Schopenhauer
=
Experts' initial thrust? Voices taunt:
"Stupid! Silly! Childish! Flakey!";
then state: "Forget it! Dangerous! Evil!";
then: "Deft thesis! Clear as hell!"
- Brodie
People's Names Category:
Larry Brash with:
Florence Nightingale =
Angel of the reclining.
Other Names Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
The Palestine Liberation Organization =
Arabs' petition? Legalize their nation? No.
Anagram Set Category:
Marc Macauley with:
No Trespassing =
It nags persons.
Sign not sparse.
Stop near signs.
Special Category:
Mike Keith with:
hydrogen + zirconium + tin + oxygen + rhenium + platinum + tellurium + terbium + nobelium + chromium + iron + cobalt + carbon + aluminum + ruthenium + silicon + ytterbium + hafnium + sodium + selenium + cerium + manganese + osmium + uranium + nickel + praseodymium + erbium + vanadium + thallium + plutonium
=
nitrogen + zinc + rhodium + helium + argon + neptunium + beryllium + bromine + lutetium + boron + calcium + thorium + niobium + lanthanum + mercury + fluorine + bismuth + actinium + silver + cesium + neodymium + magnesium + xenon + samarium + scandium + europium + berkelium + palladium + antimony + thulium
[This is a "doubly-true anagram" - if you replace each element with its atomic number (= position in the periodic table), there is still equality:]
1 + 40 + 50 + 8 + 75 + 78 + 52 + 65 + 102 + 24 + 26 + 27 + 6 + 13 + 44 + 14 + 70 + 72 + 11 + 34 + 58 + 25 + 76 + 92 + 28 + 59 + 68 + 23 + 81 + 94
=
7 + 30 + 45 + 2 + 18 + 93 + 4 + 35 + 71 + 5 + 20 + 90 + 41 + 57 + 80 + 9 + 83 + 89 + 47 + 55 + 60 + 12 + 54 + 62 + 21 + 63 + 97 + 46 + 51 + 69
[= 1416]
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Mike Goldfischer with:
World Wrestling Federation =
Frown. It is not well-regarded.

List of all nominated anagrams for May 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

June 1999

General Category (tie):
Jon Gearhart with:
Stipend =
Spend it.
Tom Myers with:
Oust Milosevic =
Scum is too evil!
Entertainment Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
Sydney Pollack's Tootsie =
Testicles on lady? Spooky...
Topical Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
The British Royal Wedding at Saint George's Chapel, Windsor =
Two rising 'English Trash', Edward & Sophie, celebrating today.
Rude Category:
ID Letterman with:
Ugly, stupid flesh =
Delightful pussy.
Spam Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
WHAT MAKES US SO SPECIAL?????
Long Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Preamble to the United States Constitution
People's Names Category:
Larry Brash with:
Milosevic =
'Cos I'm evil.
Other Names Category:
Son Hong Nguyen with:
Eastern Asia =
It's near a sea.
Anagram Set Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
A Penthouse Centerfold =
No clothes? Nude, fare pet!
Pose half nude? Not erect!
Pose nude? Cheer- not flat!
See a cunt, fondle her top.
Special Category:
- 1st place:
  Mike Keith with:
  The Raven
- 2nd place:
  Meyran Kraus with:
  The Little Boy and the Old Man
- 3rd place:
  Mike Keith with:
  A simultaneous anagram and approximate translation of an excerpt from Dante's "Inferno".
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Jon Gearhart with:
The Hunting of the Snark: an Agony in Eight Fits

List of all nominated anagrams for June 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

July 1999

General Category:
John Morahan with:
Stone age =
Stage one.
Entertainment Category:
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in "Eyes Wide Shut" =
Audiences saw her nudity. Men liked moist icon.
Topical Category:
ID Letterman with:
A tragedy strikes the Kennedy house again =
It's a dark sky. The eager young end in the sea.
Rude Category:
Jon Gearhart with:
Buster Hymen =
Enter my bush!
Spam Category:
Jon Gearhart with:
Check this out! Too much fun!! Magic tricks, jokes, photos, recipes, WAV's, and fun. A lot of fun. See me tie a necktie, one-handed, in one second, blindfolded. Then, I tear up a newspaper and restore it. I'll teach you magic. 1000 photos for wallpaper. Free slideshow programs. A LOT of recipes. A ton of really cool helpful links of all types.
=
We use spam to amuse us. I'll confess, I have loads of fun getting cocky spam accounts killed off. Please remit an appropriate fee ($1000) ASAP to: Jon Gearhart's recent address -- no phone calls. You'll be shipped out a hot, poop-like concoction within like a week as reminder. Hurry! Don't elect to hold off or flinch -- the offer will end.
Long Category:
Richard Brodie with:
Question: Why did the blonde think she was so smart when it took her six months to assemble a jigsaw puzzle with only seven pieces? Answer: Because on the box it said "Two to four years"!
=
Want to hear feminine joke? No? Well too bad! So, I saw very sexy, ditzy broad wax eloquent about prowess, but she's not the Whiz Girl she thinks she is. No Ms. Wise, she's a most pathetic dunce.
People's Names Category:
Melody Jonak with:
David Lee Roth =
A red hot devil.
Other Names Category:
Tom Myers with:
Yosemite =
O my! See it!
Anagram Set Category:
Richard Brodie with: [Proverb 17:15]
He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the LORD. =
Doth not the Jew tend to hate the Arab, and the Limey oft evoke Irish hate? Hatch not then the dumb injustice.
The Serb itcheth to hurt the Bosnian, and the holy jihad venom attacketh the Jew. Oh! Time-out! Find a detente!
It is the race of the black man that they jeered. Oh! the hate! Thumbs down! Then join united to hand it the veto.
Special Category:
- 1st place:
  Mike Keith with:
  A set of six anagrams of Shakespeare's sonnet #60, attempting to match the style and substance of six novels from the 19th and 20th centuries.
- 2nd place:
  Richard Brodie with:
  Bill of Rights
- 3rd place:
  Jon Gearhart with:
  Imagine
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Meyran Kraus with:
America's Funniest Home Videos =
'Amateur Comedies On VHS' is fine!

List of all nominated anagrams for July 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

August 1999

General Category:
Tom Myers with:
Jury selection =
Rely on justice.
Entertainment Category:
Larry Brash with:
The Three Stooges: Larry, Curly and Moe =
Actors? Lord, they're an ugly threesome!
Topical Category:
Tom Myers with:
Hurricane Warnings Posted =
A report: Wind, churning seas.
Rude Category:
Jon Gearhart with:
Erection? Thrust it on in. =
O, insert it into her cunt!
Spam Category:
Jon Gearhart with:
P.S. To be promptly removed from any future emails from us please just "reply" to this message
Long Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
The lines uttered by Samuel L. Jackson in 'Pulp Fiction' whenever he had to kill a guy.
People's Names Category:
Don P. Fortier with:
George Bush =
He bugs Gore.
Other Names Category:
Tom Myers with:
United Parcel Service =
Accept, insure, deliver.
Anagram Set Category:
Mick Tully with:
Election promises =
Come-ons - lies - tripe.
Promotes nice lies.
Politicos? Me sneer.
Special Category:
- 1st place:
  Mike Keith with:
  The first sentence (in all its purple-prose glory) of Edward Bulwer-Lytton's novel "Paul Clifford".
- eq.2nd place:
  Jon Gearhart with:
  A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe
- eq.2nd place:
  Jon Gearhart with:
  Fire and Ice by Robert Lee Frost
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Art Day with:
Athletic supporter =
The testicular prop.

List of all nominated anagrams for August 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

September 1999

General Category:
Niggle with:
Desert Island =
Lies stranded.
Entertainment Category:
Tom Myers with:
Miss America Pageant =
I'm a greasepaint scam!
Topical Category:
Larry Brash with:
Medicinal marijuana =
A cure? I'm in a damn jail.
Rude Category:
Noam D. Elkies with:
Deloitte & Touche =
Toilette & Douche.
Spam Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
No Working!!!!!
Long Category:
Tom Myers with:
New Jersey Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control =
So enjoy a cool beer while Driving. Not clever? Fiasco!
People's Names Category:
Ramon with:
Leonardo Di Caprio =
Periodic anal odor.
Other Names Category:
Dan Fortier with:
Honolulu, Hawaii =
I hula low in Oahu.
Anagram Set Category:
Don P. Fortier with:
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address =
Sacred martyrs bought land a blessing.
Oh, stand gently amid rags, scars, rubble.
Battles bred such grand moral sayings.
Special Category:
- eq.1st place:
  Jon Gearhart with:
  Song by Edgar Allan Poe
- eq.1st place:
  Mike Keith with:
  Shake's Pair
- 3rd place:
  Richard Brodie with:
  Psalm 150
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Janet Muggeridge with:
Tam-o'-shanter =
One smart hat.

List of all nominated anagrams for September 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

October 1999

General Category:
Don P. Fortier with:
The best laid plans of mice and men =
And sometimes blind fate can help...
Entertainment Category:
Mike Keith with:
Isn't Calista Flockhart really sexy? =
She's flatly ill, tacky, anorexic star.
Topical Category:
Ben Zimmer with:
Mars Climate Orbiter =
Meter miscalibrator!
Rude Category:
Daniel F. Etter with:
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips =
Which is better to do? Sip thy ol' tea? Do messy cunnilingus?
Spam Category:
Larry Brash with:
Here's a great place to find everything you need for business and Christmas. =
Send in cash? Gad! Get your very shit-brained spam off Usenet, arsehole-cretin.
Long Category:
Don P. Fortier with:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
People's Names Category (tie):
Richard Brodie with:
Tonya Harding =
Darn hit! Agony!
Daniel F. Etter with:
A Homer Simpson =
Mr Homo Sapiens.
Other Names Category:
Tom Myers with:
Intel Celeron Processor out =
Serious teen-porn collector.
Anagram Set Category:
Janet Muggeridge with:
Porcelain toilets =
To clear piles into.
Lose crap in toilet.
Crap lies on toilet.
Septic latrine/loo.
Note pale clitoris.
Special Category:
- 1st place:
  David Bourke with:
  Diana, The Princess Of Wales
- 2nd place:
  Meyran Kraus with:
  Sylvia Plath: Words
- 3rd place:
  Dan Fortier with:
  Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
  Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
  All the King's horses, and all the King's men,
  Couldn't put Humpty together again.
  =
  An egg that's sat out on my ledge
  My kin hath push'd against unkind edge
  Perch'd up up up too tall tall tall
  Then... My my my that harmful sprawl!
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Navigator with:
Rome was not built in a day =
Any labour I do wants time.

List of all nominated anagrams for October 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

November 1999

General Category:
Larry Brash with:
Anagramming is a waste of fucking time =
We are kings of magic mutatings. I'm a fan.
Entertainment Category:
David Bourke with:
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band =
Crap LP sung by the LSD-prone Beatles.
Topical Category:
Daniel F. Etter with:
Alien Abductions =
Tabloid nuisance.
Rude Category:
Don P. Fortier with:
This is not spam. You are receiving this because you have sent me information
Spam Category:
Don P. Fortier with:
Starting your own business!!!
Long Category:
Richard Grantham with:
How many alt.anagrams subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? =
Thirty: one swami can tame such a task as others, babbling, do bugger-all.
People's Names Category:
Mike Keith with:
Madeleine Albright =
Her label: "mediating".
Other Names Category:
Larry Brash with:
The London Planetarium =
Earthmen, I land on Pluto.
Anagram Set Category:
Mick Tully with:
Dolly Parton's greatest hits =
Gross tits? Pan that yodeller!
Lads to hail pretty songster.
Oh-so-pretty art tingles lads.
Pretty girl's tone 'as lads hot!
So, hot star dangles prettily...
Special Category:
- 1st place:
  Don P. Fortier with:
  Piano Man
- 2nd place:
  Don P. Fortier with:
  The Gettysburg Address
- 3rd place:
  Graham Perkins with:
  A line-by-line spamagram.
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Janet Muggeridge with:
My Sony Playstation =
Nasty noisy palm-toy.

List of all nominated anagrams for November 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

December 1999

General Category (tie):
Larry Brash with:
I love cats. They taste just like chicken. =
I ate those juicy kittens? Heck! Call vets!
Meyran Kraus with:
Garbageman =
Bag manager.
Entertainment Category (tie):
Richard Grantham with:
Salvador Dali's 'The Persistence of Memory' =
Sparse olive rod and/or shy face: time melts.
Meyran Kraus with:
Robert Schumann =
Brahms' Nocturne.
Topical Category:
David R. Conrad with:
'Twas the night before Christmas =
Ah, Christ, bet he wants more gifts.
Rude Category:
Richard Grantham with:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue =
Beavers? I'd leer -
Arses rule, too!
Spam Category:
Richard Grantham with:
Get Paid to Surf the Web
Long Category:
Larry Brash with:
On the twelfth day of Christmas
People's Names Category:
David Bourke with:
Elvis Aaron Presley =
Seen alive? Sorry, pal!
Other Names Category:
David Bourke with:
The Houses Of Parliament =
Top man here's a foul shite.
Anagram Set Category:
Janet Muggeridge with:
Penis enlargement =
Pleasing men enter.
Gel earn semen pint.
Leering, pant, "semen!"
Men, preen genitals.
Sneer, ample gent in.
Special Category:
- 1st place:
  Mike Keith with:
  No by Thomas Hood
- 2nd place:
  Richard Brodie with:
  For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given
- 3rd place:
  Jon Gearhart with:
  To the Holy Spirit
Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Meyran Kraus with:
* BARELY LEGAL TEEN SLUTS

List of all nominated anagrams for December 1999

[January] [February] [March] [April] [May] [June] [July] [August] [September] [October] [November] [December]

Full List of Grand Anagrammy Winners
All-Time Grand Anagrammy stats

Winners of the Awardsmaster's Challenges

See the DFE 100 Club, those few who have scored more than 100 points in a month competition.

See the anagrams that scored more than 20 DFE points

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